


After The Lab

by PerfectWeapon



Category: Black Veil Brides, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Feels, Black Veil Brides Army, Blood Drinking, Blood Loss, Blood Sharing, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, Brothers, Child Abuse, Dark, Death Threats, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family Bonding, Flashbacks, Half-Vampires, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Non-Consensual Blood Drinking, Pack Dynamics, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Poison, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sorry Not Sorry, Vampires, Werewolf, Wolf Pack, Wolfsbane Poisoning, mild gaslighting? but it's to help CC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 32
Words: 46,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27422305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectWeapon/pseuds/PerfectWeapon
Summary: Christian Coma escaped, but after all that he has been through in the last almost decade, will he be able to live as a normal werewolf again? Even with Ashley, Andy, Jinxx and Jake to help him, is getting over that much trauma really possible? They hope so, but only time (and lots of sleepless nights filled with tears,) will tell. Lots of violence in this one, BVB if you ever for some reason read this, first, thanks! And second, I hope you don't find this too weird...
Relationships: Andy Biersack/Jeremy "Jinxx" Ferguson, Christian "CC" Coma/Ashley Purdy, Jake Pitts/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. You had to pick me up?

Running, that’s all I can remember ever sense I escaped, and well, that’s all I did, a night here a few hours there. Never staying in one place for too long, I couldn’t and I wouldn’t go back, I’d die first. And at this rate I was most likely going to, when I escaped I was about to pass out from blood loss, a punctured lung and over five broken bones, how am I not dead?

Easy, I’m not exactly what you would call ‘human.’ Which is why I was at that horrible place to begin with, you can’t even call it a lab; a torture chamber would be a more accurate name.

In case you wanted to know, my name is CC, which is short for Christian Coma, but my ‘family’ called me ‘CC’, I like it better, but that was before they tried to kill me. All of a sudden there were the sounds of a glass bottle breaking and the loud ‘stomps’ of several pairs of running combat boots, they found me, how?! I covered my tracks the best I could…

Should I try and hide here or try and out run them? I’m not gonna have much of a chance either way… The footsteps got closer, so as quietly as I could I moved to the back of the old building I was hiding in, hoping that they didn’t hear me. I was almost to the back door when I tripped, (because my ankle was still partly broken.) Over a box full of something loud and it fell to the ground as I hit it, myself falling over as well, I bit my lip to hold in a scream as I felt my healing ribs re-brake themselves.

The front door opened and I scrambled back towards the back door as quickly as I could, I couldn’t see the person’s faces, but that didn’t matter I don’t trust anyone after what happened there and I’m not sure I will ever again.

“Ash, I think there’s someone in here,” a deep voice I didn’t recognize said, as there were more footsteps walking around the room scattered with boxes.  
“I think you’re right, you see him?” A person replied, I reached up the door trying to be as quiet as possible, and turned the handle ever so slightly and the door swung open.  
“There!”  
“Jake!”  
“I got him!” there were shouts and running feet going impossibly fast that could only mean one thing, Vampire. I managed to get to my feet and ran/hobbled about three feet before arms were around me tightly, making my ribs scream in protest, I clawed at the arms around me trying to break free.  
“Easy… Easy kid, we won’t hurt you, calm down.” The man holding me said, holding onto me tighter as I struggled, I can’t keep this up much longer… This guy is crazy if he thinks I believe him.

The Vampire walked/dragged me back inside the building quickly, the door was shut after us and there were a few lanterns and flashlights on now. Three guys stood a little ways in front of me, plus the one restraining me. The one in the middle of the three men walked closer to me smiling softly, I struggled more, trying to get out of the death grip that the Vampire had me in.

“Calm down kid,” the vampire said grunting as he held me still, I just tried to kick back at his legs.  
“Jake, let him go.” The man in front of me said, this ‘Jake’ let me go and I quickly hobbled to the door but the vampire was quicker and he picked me up throwing me over his shoulder and walked away from the door. 

I cried out as my ribs scrapped together, there was black around the edges of my vision and I knew this was the end of my freedom. I made my wolf claws come out and just as I passed out, dug them as deep as I could into his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so glad you read this chapter, I'll have more soon and trust me my writing gets a lot better in a few chapters! Anyway thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one! Comment any questions, suggestion, or concerns you have!  
> -Perfect Weapon


	2. Introducing...

“Where’d this kid come from?” _What happened?_

“What happened to him?” _What’s going on, did someone find me?_

“Is he gonna be alright Ash?” Sense when don’t they call me ‘it’? I opened my eyes seeing four men crouching around me, and everything from before I blacked out came back. I sat up and scrambled back on my hands and feet like a crab.

“Whoa, easy kid we won’t hurt you,” the in charge one said gently holding his hand out to me, I shrunk back and bumped into someone, then the same arms were around me but a lot gentler this time. I tensed up closing my eyes tightly and waited for the fangs, whimpering and begging in wolf for them not to hurt me, and please don’t bite me.

“Easy pup, I won’t bite ya, relax.” The vampire whispered, it didn’t sound creepy but I wasn’t gonna trust him no way, not gonna happen!

“Where’d you come from?” One of them asked, he looked young but still older than me, I hesitated before shrugging, hoping I didn’t make them mad.

“Jake…” One of them whispered.

“I’m gonna let you go now, don’t run OK? We just want to help you.” Jake said, before he slowly un-wrapped his arms, I moved away from him quickly, my body aching at the sudden movement.

“What’s your name kid?” The vampire asked, I flinched away from him.

“Jake, lets swap places, I don’t think he’s overly fond of vamps.” The young one said, Jake nodded and the two of them switched spots.

“Hey, I’m Ash; these are my brothers Jake, Jinxx, and Andy. Can you understand us?” The in charge one said softly, pointing to the vampire who was sitting across and to the left of me when he said ‘Jake’, than at the man next to him when he said, ‘Jinxx’. Then at the guy next to me when he said, ‘Andy’, I nodded slowly very confused and not really remembering how to speak. Why are they trying to get to know me, if they’re just going to take me back?

“So where’d you come from kid?” The guy Ash called ‘Jinxx’ asked, I thought for a second if I should answer him or not as I tried to remember the words.

“Originally?” I asked, my voice cracked from my hardly ever using it to speak.

“sure, that works.” Jinxx responded.

“California,” I answered, pulling my legs under me, and trying to keep my weight off my semi broken bones.

“How’d you end up in a town on the border between Kansas and Oklahoma, all by yourself and in this state?” Andy asked from beside me, gesturing to my broken bruised and bloodied body, so that’s where I was…

“I ran away,” I said, coughing up some blood, not good, and wrapping my arms around myself as I tried to control how much my ribs moved with each breath.

“Ran away from what?” Ash asked looking very serious, I looked at all of them, trying to decide how much I could trust them, I decided on not much.

“Home,” I muttered, it was sort of a lie and it sort of wasn’t, the lab was where I lived for years so in that sense it was my ‘home.’

“Kid you really should let us take you to a hospital, you have a lot of physical damage, and I don’t know how to set all of those busted bones.” Jinxx said, after looking at me for three minutes straight.

“n-no, I-I’m fine! I don’t need a hospital; I’m fine on my own!” I snarled trying to sound tough as I got to my feet as quickly as I could.

“Easy kid calm down, just sit back down and we can figure something out, alright?” Andy said, grabbing my wrist, surprisingly this one wasn’t broken. I growled at him trying to pull free, but he was way stronger than me. I heard a van pull up outside of the building, I whimpered, fighting his grip on me even harder. Andy stood up and wrapped his arms around me, locking my arms by my sides. This just made me panic more.

“N-no! I can’t go back, I won’t go back I-I can’t…” I cried, fighting to get out of Andy’s hold, he just held me tighter, saying something I couldn’t understand in my panicked state. I felt something pierce my skin and I screamed in agony and fear, as my world turned black, knowing when I woke up, everything would be so much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so glad you read this chapter, I'll have more soon and trust me my writing gets a lot better in a few chapters! Anyway thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one! Comment any questions, suggestion, or concerns you have!  
> -Perfect Weapon


	3. #3 The Runaway Kid Without a Name.

Ashley’s P.O.V

The van we were using for tour pulled up outside and the boy went into a crazed fit, I didn’t want him to hurt himself worse, so sedating him was the best choice for now.

“So, take him to the hospital… then what?” Andy asked, as we started driving to the hospital.

“try and find his parents, if we can’t, try and get him to a safe place.” I replied, the boy coughed slightly and turned towards the window in his sleep.

“Jinxx, will you look up missing and run away teens in the last year and a half, and see if someone’s looking for him?” I asked, Jinxx nodded, starting to type on his computer, the boy looked about seventeen or eighteen, his black hair was past his shoulders and it was matted and messy. His skin looked tan but had an odd hue to it that didn’t look natural. Even though it was clear that he was supposed to be lanky, he was way too skinny.

The clothes he wore were torn, stained with blood and starting to become thread bare. Pretty soon we pulled up to the emergency entrance of the hospital, after parking quickly, Andy and I picked the boy up while Jake opened the door so it was easier to carry the boy, Jinxx followed us quickly, _I have got to get his name._

The four of us walked into the building, imminently heads turned and a nurse and a doctor came up to us.

“what on earth happened?!” The nurse gasped looking at the boy in Andy and I’s arms, she gestured over a gurney, which we gently laid him down on.

“We- we don’t know, we heard a crash in an old building and when we went in we found him.” I said quickly, knowing full well that this looked very bad; we didn’t exactly look friendly at first glance.

“Uh hu, well,“ She started,

“Ma’am he has several broken ribs, and he was coughing blood on the way here.” Jinxx said, and if to prove his point the kid turned on his side and started coughing up blood violently.

“Right, punctured lung; let’s go!” The doctor said, and he was whisked away down a hall towards an operating room, so we went and sat in the waiting room. None of us spoke for a while, when suddenly.

“I got a hit! According to this, ‘Seventeen and a half year old Christian Coma or CC was reported missing thirteen months ago from a small town in the South-Eastern corner of Texas.’ There’s a number to call if anyone had information along with a picture and a description of him.” Jinxx said, as he turned his laptop so we could see it, in the picture he was a little younger and his hair was off his face, his skin didn’t have a sickly pale hue, and his eyes weren’t nearly as tired or scared just dull like he wasn't really there.

“I thought he said he was from Cali? I’m confused,” Andy said,

“Maybe he moved,” Jake suggested.

After three hours or so, the nurse from before came up to us.

“The boy’s stable for now, he has several broken bones that were partly healed but have never been set, so they’ve been properly set and have been wrapped or have been cast, he’s also very malnourished, along with over 40 scars that I’ve never seen the likes of before. He fits the description of a missing boy that’s been on the news for the past few months, how’d you find him?” She said, looking at us all with distrust. 

“We were playing tag, and heard a crash inside an old building, so we went in to see if someone was hurt and we found the boy.” I said, being completely honest,

“I’ve contacted the police and they’re getting in touch with his parents, they might want to talk to you, so please stick around.” She stated, turning to leave,

“Ma’am, could we see him?” Andy asked hesitantly, she thought for a few seconds before sighing.

“I suppose it’ll be alright, follow me.” She said turning and walked down a hall, she stopped outside a room.

“He wakes up or anything happens press the call button, got it?” She said as she opened the door, we nodded, walking into the room quietly, the nurse closed the door and left. Christian lay on the bed that was propped up at an angle, his hair was pulled back off of his face, and there was a cut over his right eyebrow that had been stitched. His torn up t-shirt and jeans had been replaced with a hospital gown, which only made him look even sicker.

“Wow… He looks even worse than before,” Jake said as we all settled down in the chairs around the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so glad you read this chapter, I'll have more soon and trust me my writing gets a lot better in a few chapters! Anyway thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one! Comment any questions, suggestion, or concerns you have!  
> -Perfect Weapon


	4. Yes, I speak multiple languages

CC’s P.O.V

There was a soft relentless beeping sound and whispering voices, I turned on my side carefully and opened my eyes, seeing Ash sitting in a chair reading a book, but he looked up when I moved.

“Hey kid, how’re you feeling?” He asked gently.

“where am I?” I asked, looking around the room, my heart rate picked up as I realized I was in a hospital room.

“You’re in the hospital CC, or do you want me to call you Christian?” Ash replied gently, I was starting to get spooked, before I could reply the door opened and in came a nurse, a cop and one of the people that I never wanted to see again.

It was my main ‘handler’ for lack of a better word, at the lab; I didn’t know what his name was, so I just called him ‘handler’. (Not that I ever spoke to him,) he was the one who broke my ankle, this time at least.

“n-no!” I whimpered sitting up a little, my ribs didn’t hurt near as much now.

“Chris, we’ve been so worried, we’ve been looking everywhere for you!” He said, coming closer to me, _yes_ , _we are well aware of this fact._

“S-stay away from me!” I whispered, the cop looked between the two of us but didn’t say anything.

“Why’d you run away from us Chris?” Handler asked, pretending not to know.

“You know why I ran, and my name’s not ‘Chris’,” I muttered, flinching when I saw the so _very_ familiar spark of anger flash in his eyes.

“The rest of us don’t know why you ran, so would you tell us?” The cop asked handler looked at me with hate filled eyes; I shook my head and lowered my gaze quickly.

 _‘CC, if you tell us what happened, the cop can help you get away from him.’_ Ash whispered in wolf, I shook my head again; my breathing becoming shallow.

“Could everyone leave the room please? I’d like to speak with Christian alone.” The cop said, I looked up as they started walking out.

_‘Ash, please,’_ I whimpered quietly, he looked back at me.

“Would it be alright if I stayed? He might be less nervous.” Ash asked the cop, the man just shook his head.

 _‘You’ll be alright, call me if something’s wrong, we’ll be close by.’_ Ash said gently, before walking out the door and closing it behind him.

“Will you answer my question now, son?” The cop asked sitting down in the chair next to the bed I was in, I shook my head.

“Will you tell the nurse?” He asked I looked at him from the corner of my eye; the name on his badge was ‘Sam’.

I shook my head again.

“Who will you tell, would you tell your father?” Sam asked.

“I don’t have a father.” I whispered, grimacing as the last memory I had of my family went through my head.

“What do you mean by that?” Sam asked; I didn’t move at first.

“Ash,”

“What was that?” Sam asked leaning forward a little bit.

“I’ll tell Ash,” I whispered after a second, and looked at the door.

“The man with black hair, and tattoos,” he stated, describing all four of them but, I nodded anyway and he got up, going over to the door, I laid down on my side hiding under the thin blanket, as there were hushed voices right outside the door.

“CC?” Ash's voice asked as a light hand was place on my back, I moved the blanket so I could see his face, "Sam said you would only tell me why you ran." Ash said softly, sitting down, I nodded sitting up a little and seeing that Sam was still in the room. 

"Well?" He asked.

"He's not my father, or guardian. He's my handler." I whispered, _'he ever finds out I'm telling you this, they'll kill me.'_ I added, taking a chance and trusting him enough to tell him this much. _Why are we trusting him? I'm not sure, a feeling._

"Why would you have a handler?" Ash questioned, nodding that he understood, his hand was still on my shoulder gently tracing circles, it kinda helped me to stay calm, but at the same time it made alarm bells ring.

"A-at the lab, he was the one who 'took care' of me, made sure I was at the right place at the right time. Made sure I didn't try to escape, and he punished me as they saw fit." I mumbled, tripping over my words as memories started to flood my mind, but I did my best to push them back. 

"What sort of punishments?" Sam asked, I flinched and looked at Ash to see if I actually had to answer, he nodded still tracing circles with his thumb on my arm. 

I swallowed the lump of fear stuck in my throat.

"Anything." I said quietly, the wall was close to breaking, _why can't they see this is scary for us?_

"You're gonna need to narrow that down a little CC, I know it's hard, but please try?" Ash said, after a minute of hushed whispers that I wasn't paying attention to.

"No food, beatings, dislocating a joint, sometimes broken bone." I whispered, instantly feeling the sharp and ruff metal cuffs dipped in wolfsbane, cutting into my wrists, and the burn that stayed for days after, _'their favorite was letting vampires feed off me.'_ I barely even whispered to Ash, I shuddered as not even the worst memories flashed through my head. 

_'Is that why you're so afraid of Jake?'_ Ash asked, I nodded my hair moving just enough so that he could see one of the many pairs of bite marks/scars on my neck.


	5. He Will Be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should go without saying from here on, panic attacks are in almost every chapter, check the tags. if you might be triggered by them, please don't read, I will put up warnings for when a chapter is really bad however. Also I am juggling the song timeline for this story, but it is set right after Sandra left the band, so it starts early 2010. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> -Perfect Weapon

CC's P.O.V 

"What did you mean you were in a lab?" Sam asked, I looked at Ash, _I don't know how to answer that!_

"Chris?" Sam asked when I didn't respond, the wall broke with the use of the nickname my dad used to use, and a flood of memories crashed in. I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't.

"Nurse!" Someone shouted, I whimpered trying to make the memories stop, the door burst open.

"CC, take a breath, it's OK breathe..." Ash whispered, gently holding my shoulder.

"I-I can't please," I whimpered as a nurse came up to me with a syringe. 

"N-no please! I-I don't want to go under, please..." I whispered, starting to hyperventilate, which caused my ribs to start hurting again.

"Calm down and hold still kid." A nurse said, as more hands started touching my arms, and pressing against my shoulders. 

In my head a memory of a Vampire pinning me against something flashed. 

_'Ash I can't go in the dark, please.'_ I whimpered, _why am I trusting him to help?_ I struggled against pairs of hands trying to hold me still, if they were in my head or real, I had no idea.

"You don't need to sedate him! Give him some space, I can calm him down." Someone said, maybe Ash; _it sounded like Ash- Ahh! More Vampires!! (Hides in the corner of a creepy room.)_

"He'll hurt himself even worse if I don't." A nurse replied.

"Let me try please, if it doesn't work I won't interfere. Just let me try?" _What's going on?_

"S-stop please..." I whispered, falling on my side and biting off a cry of pain.

"CC, if you can hear me it's gonna be OK, you're safe." Ash said, softly placing a hand on my back, I whimpered and slowly reached a hand towards his voice, (I had shut my eyes a long time ago.)

"Can you try and do something for me?" He whispered, a warm hand took hold of my own, "I want you to listen a song, just listen to it, try and breathe with it, yeah?" Ash said, as he stroked his thumb across the top of my hand, I cried out as fangs pierced the skin of my neck, if it were real or not I couldn't tell.

The hand on my back disappeared and a soft song started to play, I whimpered again, and tried to focus on the song. ~ **Saviour** by **BVB** ~ I opened my eyes and looked at Ash, only kind of seeing him, he smiled and gave my hand a small squeeze. The door opened, causing me to shut my eyes and curl up in an even tighter ball, whispering and whimpering things that didn't make any sense, even to me. 

Ashley's P.O.V

I glared at the nurse before turning back to CC who was starting to calm down from the panic attack until she opened the door, that is. I started murmuring softly to the boy who was sobbing and had my hand in a weak death grip. After a little while, CC had slowly relaxed and had fallen asleep, so I slowly unwrapped his hand, and left my phone on the bedside table playing a playlist of our bands music, and left the room quietly.

"He OK Ash?" Andy asked.

"He's asleep for now." I answered, then turned to Sam.

"How hard would it be to get custody of Christian?" I asked.

"That depends-"

"No way are you getting custody of my son!" CC's handler cut Sam off. 

"How dare you even pretend to care about him, after what you did!?!" I all but growled at him, we were in the waiting room, I really hope that the poor pup was sleeping peacefully and not having nightmares, or something worse. The man smirked and crossed his arms.

"Well, when he wakes up, we'll just let him pick." He said, before going to sit down, I sat down next to Jinxx and sighed deeply. 

A few hours later Jake tapped me on the shoulder.

_'He's crying, we should go check on him.'_ He told me in wolf, I nodded and the four of us got up and started walking down the hall Sam and the handler following us.

"Would you just let me give you your pain meds!?" A female nurse said exasperated, as we walked into CC's room, he was sitting curled up and crying silently.

_'CC, let her give them to you, they'll help take the pain away.'_ I told him gently, he whimpered a little but gave the nurse his arm with the IV in it, where she quickly gave him the meds, smiled and left.

"Christian," Sam started, getting the scared boy's attention, "if you could choose, who do you want to live with, Ash; or your father?" Sam finished, CC looked up surprised, I smiled as I glanced over at the handler. He brought his hand up to his neck and tapped at it a few times before pretending to scratch an itch, clearly an unspoken threat.

CC looked down and curled up more.

"I-I need to go home," CC whispered, I looked over at Sam, he nodded.

"Everybody out." Sam said, the handler glared at CC before leaving the room with my brothers, once they had left the room, I sat down in the chair next to the bed and Sam stayed where he was by the door.

"CC," I started, he looked at me, fear overwhelming his eyes, "what did he say? What did he mean when he touched his neck?" I asked, taking hold of his hands as they started to shake.

_'Wolfs bane.'_ He whimpered, _'please, I don't want to go back, but he'll put as much as he can in my veins without killing me. He's done it before and he'll do it again.'_ He started crying and shaking uncontrollably.

"Shh, I'll keep you safe, he won't hurt you, I'll get you away from him. It's gonna be alright Pup, breathe." I murmured, wrapping my arms around him gently and holding him to my chest.

CC just sobbed brokenly, and a thought came into my head; _this might be the only kind touch or words he's ever had._ That thought made my heart break for him even more, Sam had left as CC started freaking out. I waited until he fell asleep, then got him settled down on the bed, and left the room.

 _'_ _Andy, stay with the Pup, would you?'_ I whispered to him.

 _'Yeah sure, is he OK?'_ Andy replied, I shook my head.

_'No, but he will be.'_ I said, walking towards Sam. 


	6. Annie?!

CC's P.O.V 

_Will I ever get away from them?_

"Easy kid, it's just a dream," I whimpered and opened my eyes, seeing Andy sitting next to me, he smiled.

"You're finally awake." He said gently.

"How long was I out?" I muttered rubbing my eyes.

"A month," Andy replied, I sat up slowly, I felt tired but none of my body hurt, I looked at him questioningly.

"You needed the rest, and you kept freaking out, so the doctors decided to put you into a coma so you could heal." He explained, I nodded still confused, but not as panicked now. 

A few minutes later the door opened, making me jump, and in walked Ash, Jinxx and Jake.

"Good you're awake, how're you feeling CC?" Ash said smiling, I shrugged, not really awake yet.

"Did the papers come through Ash?" Andy asked, _papers? What papers? What's going on?_ My mind swirled with questions, I was too afraid to ask.

"Yeah, they did, CC how do you feel about living with the four of us in Alabama?" Ash asked sitting down next to Andy, Jinxx sat across from him and Jake stood by the door.

I shrugged, bringing my legs to my chest.

"I'm gonna go tell the nurse that he's awake." Jake said, before leaving the room quickly, the three of them looked at each other.

"D-did I do something wrong?" I whispered, looking between them nervously.

"No you didn't, Jake just doesn't want to scare you." Ash said gently, I nodded slowly as the nurse and Jake walked back in.

After the nurse/doctor looked me over and ran a few tests, they said I was clear to leave. Ash brought me a new set of clothes as my old ones were no where to be found. Once I had changed we all got into their van and started driving east.

"So somehow I missed something," Andy started.

"Here we go..." Jake muttered from where he was driving.

"What is it this time Ands?" Jinxx asked, putting his book down, I stayed leaned up against the window as I pretended to be asleep.

"How'd CC end up in a lab, that's really weird." Andy continued, _well how often do you find someone that's escaped a lab? It's almost unheard of,_

"Well CC is the only one who knows the answer for certain, and I don't want you asking him that. You can guess though, that it has something to do with him being a Wolf." Ash said, _it has everything to do with me being a wolf, good job! Wow, am I sarcastic today or what?_ Andy thought for a minute before nodding and turning to look out the window. 

"CC, wake up Pup." A voice said as a hand rested on my shoulder, I opened my eyes and blinked a few times to get them to focus.

"We're at a rest stop, we should all walk around for a few minutes." Ash said, as we all got out of the van; I nodded understanding and a little out of it.

"Um, w-where are we?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if I should follow behind Ash like a lost puppy, or stand around and again look like a lost puppy.

"We're um, Jake where are we?!" Andy yelled, motioning for me to follow him as he jogged toward the vampire; I followed, standing uncomfortably as the two men talked. 

I guess Andy was more a teen, but when you're talking about wolves/vampires, looks don't mean squat. 

"We're about 25 miles from the border of Alabama, so we'll be home by about 7 tonight." Jake said, I walked away quietly as the conversation drifted and I didn't want to spend anymore time around Jake then I had to. 

I was walking through the playground to kill time, because why not?

"Christian?!" A surprised voice gasped, I spun around seeing my little brother standing there.

"Anthony?!" I asked, trying to decide if I should run away or talk to him.

"I thought you were dead..." He whispered, hugging me tightly before I could decide; it took me a second, but I hugged him back hesitantly.

"What happened? How are you still alive?" Anthony asked pulling out of the hug and dragging us both to sit on the bench that we were standing next to.

"I escaped," I said simply really not wanting to talk about it.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

"School trip, why are you here?" He replied, looking at me, his eyes holding so many questions.

"Um, the people who took me in live around here, and we're heading that way." I said, keeping it vague as I shrugged my shoulders. 

We were both quiet for a minute or so.

"Come home with me, Mom cries about you being gone all the time. Come home CC, please?" He said standing up quickly.

"Annie, you know I can't," I said, _I want to kid, I really do._

"Yes you can, you got out, we can get Dad to believe that you're not gonna hurt anybody." Anthony said trying to convince me.

"They're still looking for me, and they won't stop. I go home, then you won't be safe they'll hurt you to get to me, and there's no way I'll ever go near that man again." I said standing up and pulling my sleeves down over my hands.

"But if he'll listen-"

"He tried to kill me! And as far as I know still wants to! I'm not going to go near him if I don't have too!" I hissed, cutting him off,

"CC..." Anthony sighed, "they took you eight years ago, you've been gone for EIGHT years! you can come home!" 

_Eight years, what? It's been that long?!_

"I-I can't Annie, I can't go home with you... I can't even think about him without starting to panic and shut down, OK? Go home live your life, take care of Mom for me, alright? Please go home, stay safe..." I trailed off, and tears sprung to both of our eyes, I bit my lip and pulled him into a hug, trying to comfort my little brother, as a tear fell down my cheek.

"I don't wanna lose you again C, please don't leave me." Anthony whispered, holding me to him tightly.

"Christian!! Time to go!!" Ash yelled from near the van.

"If you can't come back with me, then I want to meet your new family." Anthony said pulling away from me, I nodded and the two of us started walking towards the parking lot.

"Hey kid, who's this with you?" Jinxx asked, as the two of us walked up to the four of them.

"And why are you willingly living with these guys, they don't look very kind. Wait, it is willing right?!" Anthony whispered, unaware that they had wolf and vamp hearing, yup I'm lunch...

"Yes it's willing, they also have very good hearing." I whispered back, glancing nervously at them.

"Oh, sorry, I'm C's little brother, Anthony." He said waving.

"I didn't know you had a brother CC?" Jake said, I tensed but tried not to let it show.

"You never asked," I muttered, shrugging my shoulders a little.

"Um, Annie this is Ash, Jake, Andy and Jinxx," I said, gesturing to each of them a little bit, as they started talking I lowered my gaze to the ground, as I grew increasingly more nervous.


	7. He Has Good Reason to be Scared.

CC's P.O.V 

They were talking for a few minutes before a lady called Anthony.

"I've got to go, let me know that you're alive more then every eight years, OK Christian?" He said hugging me.

"if I can Annie," I replied, hugging him back.

"You sure you can't come back with me? There's plenty of room on the bus," Annie said as we broke apart.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said, putting on a fake air of confidence and smiled at him.

"It was nice meeting y'all." He said, the guys all said their goodbyes and with a last hug Annie ran off to join his class. 

"OK, time to go," Ash said, and the five of us got in the bus and drove off towards their, my new home.

"So anything else we should know about you Christian?" Jake asked, he didn't sound mad; but there was an underlying irritation, that I've learned from past experiences that it was not a good thing, and I was on very, very thin ice. I slowly shook my head hoping they couldn't smell my fear.

"Jake you don't need to be so harsh." Ash said from where he sat in the drivers seat, (and thankfully) driving down the road.

"Christian, I would suggest that you don't lie to us, if there's something in your past that could hurt you, we need to know about it." Ash continued, looking at me in the rear view mirror, I lowered my gaze quickly not wanting him to think I was challenging him, and nodded enough so they could see it. 

"That would be your queue to tell us about yourself," Andy mock whispered, so everyone heard it; not that they wouldn't anyway. I hesitated, not knowing where to start or what was too much information or not enough.

"Lets start with why you wouldn't go home with your brother?" Jinxx said, trying to place his hand on my shoulder, but stopped when I flinched.

"If I went with him, I might as well just kill myself now." I whispered, glancing up at them, Ash had a look in his eyes that dared me not to elaborate.

I took a shaky breath, "my 'dad' is a wolf hunter, every full moon I would sneak out before I shifted, and be back by morning. I kept it a secret from everyone, but Anthony caught me, and even though he kept my secret; it wasn't long before dad found out. The next thing I knew I was thrown into a reinforced cage in a van with a 'you come back here I'll kill you myself.' From dad, as mom cried and Annie tried to convince him that I wouldn't hurt anybody..." I whispered trying not to let the memories over take my head, no one said anything else after that, I whimpered softly and curled up trying to hide. 

As all of the things that happened, or they did to me flew around in my head faster than I could block them out. All the tests, the beatings If I didn't listen, or even if I did, them forcing me to shift.

And the vampires, the fangs, the white hot pain that shot through my body as their teeth sunk into my flesh, wishing every time they did, that they'd take too much and I'd never wake up again, begging them to just take it all and kill me, but my pleas always fell on deaf ears, as they drank past the point of me passing out, over and over and over again. All of it swirled around, locking me in the past, where I couldn't get away and had no grip on reality. 

Ashley's P.O.V 

I looked back at the guys after CC went quiet, save from the small whimpers or cries every now and then, I locked eyes with Jinxx and he nodded. I signaled and pulled over on the side of the highway. Where Jinxx and I quickly swapped places and Andy grabbed blanket from the back and handed it to me as Jinxx got back on the road. I wrapped the blanket around the crying Pup's shoulders and pulled him to my chest. CC cried out and struggled against me as he tried to get away, but I knew he was caught in the past and had no real grip on the present right now. 

Gently but securely I wrapped the blanket around him so his arms were held tightly by his sides and he was a little pup burrito, that way he wouldn't hurt himself worse.

"Shh Pup, you're safe, I'm sorry, I pushed you to far to fast, it's alright, no one's gonna hurt you honey." I murmured, smoothing his hair out of his face, all CC did was jerk away and cry out as if I had struck him, this is gonna be harder than I thought. After a few minutes CC stopped fighting to get away, and just sobbed in my arms, shaking violently.

"Why would someone do that to their own child? Especially if they weren't hurting anyone?" Andy wondered quietly, once CC had fallen asleep.

"The humans fear what they don't understand, so they try to control us, learn how we work so we can't be a threat anymore. Which is why we stay hidden, because they don't care what methods they use or how it effects us as long as the results are good." Jinxx replied, glancing up at me through the mirror; I nodded, rocking back and forth when CC whimpered and hid his face in my chest, though he settled down soon after.

Jake turned around in his seat and looked at CC, worry in his eyes.

"I wish he wasn't scared of me," he whispered sadly, Jake had the kindest heart ever and sense he was only half vampire, his mom was a vampire, his dad a werewolf, we think. He drank blood only when he had to so he didn't hurt anyone, he always felt the least guilty when it was blood of the deer we killed anyway for food, and hated the fact that CC was scared of him, even if the pup had good reason to be.

"I know, just give it time Pup, show him that you aren't like the vampires that he knows; and that he doesn't have to be scared of you." I replied, Andy reached forward and ran a hand through Jake's hair and scratched behind his ears to make him feel better. 

This is going to be interesting, how the next few months were going to play out, and technically CC is still school age. But he's in no condition to deal with high school even if Andy went with him, as Andy is still in school. So we'll deal with that later.

"Jinxx, we have to stop at the store, before we get to the house. The fridge and pantry are empty or nearly there and all the venison is still frozen." I whispered, as CC, Jake, and Andy were sound asleep.

"Got ya Ashes, should we wake them up or wait till we get home?" Jinxx replied as he parked the van in the store parking lot.

"Na, we'll let 'em sleep." I said as I rolled down the windows in the middle slightly and making sure everything was OK, and undoing CC's blanket burrito, before Jinxx and I got out and after locking the van, walked across the parking lot and into the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In my 'creative take' on Werewolves, when one willingly 'shifts' or shifts with the moon, it is painless and takes less than a minute, it can also be done anytime of the month, not just on a full moon. However when one is forced to shift [especially when malnourished or having a large amount of blood loss,] it's incredibly painful and the best way to describe it, is its worse than the transformations for the Werewolves in the 'Vampire Diaries' so yeah, they suck, (no pun intended,) Sorry CC.  
>  Also I prefer the term 'shift' rather than 'transform' so that's what I use. Also, they shift to full wolves that are about the size or slightly bigger than American Timber wolves, about 6 feet from nose to tip of tail, and 175 pounds.   
>  Thanks for reading!   
> -Perfect Weapon


	8. Then Run!!

CC's P.O.V 

_I don't know what I'm laying on..._ I rolled over and tried to make what ever I was laying on softer, by nuzzling it a little. However this didn't work, so I just gave up on trying to fall back asleep and opened my eyes, as I heard a faint groan, and came face to face with the the top of a jean/leather clad thigh, _wait... that means... I'm dead._

"CC, lay still or get of my crotch." Andy's deep voice muttered, sounding still half asleep, I sat up as quickly and as carefully as I could, so I didn't make him even more mad. 

Jake was sitting shotgun, still asleep.

"I-I'm so-sorry I didn't mean..." I whispered, putting as much distance between the two of us as possible in the van, my back pressed against the door my hand found the handle, could I run? Would it be possible? 

"It's alright CC, no harm no fowl, kid." Andy said coming closer to me, I shook my head a little as I felt for the lock, was running a good idea? Probably not, but there's a chance I could get away, however small that chance is, it's still there.

Andy stayed crouched on the seat a little ways away from me as I slowly unlocked the door, I did it as carefully as I could but I couldn't do anything to stop the 'click' sound as the mechanism unlocked. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Andy said, reaching forward to grab me as I threw my weight against the door, it flew open and I tumbled out and landed on the ground in front of a pair of combat boots. I got up quickly and ran across the open parking lot and towards the tree line as fast as I could.

"Christian!!" 

I ignored Ash's call, ok it was more a battle cry, and ran even faster, just as my feet hit the grass, then so did my face as I was tackled and pinned to the ground, great... I struggled to get free, but it was no use as the guy on top of me, (I assume it was Jake,) just pushed me harder into the ground.

One of his hands were on my head keeping it in the ground, while his knee and most of his weight was in between my shoulder blades. Making it impossible to move my chest for anything other then taking shallow breaths. Kicking out with my legs was pointless as someone else appeared and held them down, while Jake also held my hands behind my back with the hand that wasn't smashing my face into the dirt. 

"You should have listened..." Andy muttered, I just tried to kick in the direction of his voice, but didn't say anything. Ash's boots came into my line of vision a few minutes later.

"So you want to run huh?" He asked, I lowered my eyes and stopped struggling as much, but didn't relax any.

"Answer me!" Ash snarled, the hand on my head/neck pressed harder, Jake's thumb traced the veins on the side of my neck.

"I-I don't know." I whispered, trying to flinch away from Jake and squeezing my eyes shut.

"I'll take that as a 'yes', Jake." Ash said in a voice as cold a steel, but softened slightly when he said the vampire's name. The hands disappeared and I was hauled to my feet, I opened my eyes, but kept them on the ground, Jake still had his hand around the back of my neck. 

"Then run, you have ten seconds." Ash stepped to the side so he was no longer in front of me, but I didn't move. I didn't dare.

"I said, 'run'!" Ash snarled, as Jake shoved me forward, I stumbled but managed not to fall, glancing back I saw Ash was being serious, so I ran off into the woods as fast as I could. Just barely avoiding running into trees, I wasn't sure where I was going and it didn't matter right now, I just ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment any questions, suggestions or concerns. 
> 
> -Perfect Weapon


	9. Good Way Not to Die...

CC's P.O.V 

I quickly lost sight of anything other than trees, I ducked under a low hanging branch and nearly ran into a large reddish grey wolf, I skidded to a near stop and turned to the left the wolf following after me.

_'Ten seconds are up Pup.'_ He smirked, _Jake… Oh that's what he meant._

Jake snapped at my heels and forced me to turn right, I ran faster trying avoid his teeth. 

This went on for as near as could I guess miles, Jake making me turn every now and then or nipping at my heals when I slowed down. Sometimes he would randomly disappear in the woods and then jump out at me or something like that. After a little while longer the sun went down completely, so it would have been completely dark in the woods for a human, but I could still see fairly well.

As I ran past a large tree, I caught my foot on a root and fell, twisting my ankle in the process because my foot was wedged in among a patch of roots above ground. Pain shot up my leg as I sat up and tried to pull it free before Jake showed back up, because he was somewhere in the woods where I couldn't see him.

Biting off a scream, I yanked my foot free just as Jake materialized out of the shadows. Swallowing nervously I got to my feet slowly, I wasn't a stranger to sprained ankles by any means but normally I don't have a psychotic wolf/vampire chasing me, it's just a vampire or five. 

Jake shifted his weight from paw to paw impatiently, waiting for me to move, I turned back in the direction I was running before and took a slow step on my freshly twisted ankle. It gave out on me, making me fall with a cut off cry of pain Jake padded softly over to my head, where I was so desperately trying to block out the pain, so I could do as I was told and run.

_'_ _Almost there Pup, just another mile or so, get up.'_ He said, licking the tears of pain, fear and exhaustion from my face.

_'Why can't you just kill me here, it's as good a place as any?'_ I asked choking on a sob, and whimpering when Jake shifted back to human and helped me sit up, then took my ankle in his hands.

"I'm not running you to death, or to a place to kill you, just relax Pup," he said, as he untied my boot, causing me to bite off a cry. the two of us were quiet lost in our own thoughts, for a few minutes as he looked over my ankle.

"It's badly sprained, but not broken." Jake muttered seemingly to himself as he tied up my boot incredibly tight, "now you can walk to the house, come on, get up." He said, setting my foot on the ground and then shifted back into a wolf, I stood up and hobbled through the woods that were starting to spin, I shook my head to clear my vision and kept walking. Jake walked beside me now, leaned up against me to help me balance.

We walked like that for a while then we hit a clearing with a large log house in it, I couldn't make out many other details about it because my eyes were so blurry and black kept creeping in around the edges.

_'Good job Pup, almost there.'_ Jake murmured licking my hand, it freaked me out but I was to tired to think much about it, and stumbled across the grass and up the front steps, Jake shifted to human and opened the door before putting my arm around his neck and helped me through the door.

The door swung shut with a bang, which made me jump so I landed heavily on my bad ankle, making me yelp slightly.

"Yo Ashes, they're here!" Andy called, walking into the room in nothing but shorts, and caring a basket of random stuff I couldn't really see.

"Come into the kitchen, your guy's dinner is still warm." Ash called from around a corner.

"Do you understand now?" Ash asked as Jake and I ate, I was more like picking at it being to nervous to eat, I hesitantly shook my head, understanding nothing.

"When you run away you get hurt. It's not a good way to live CC." Ash started to explain, Jinxx nodded absentmindedly as he wrapped my ankle, I tried to tell him it was fine but he didn't listen.

"It's a good way not to die though," I whispered, glancing up from my hands and at him before looking back down quickly.

"Give living here two months. If you don't like it, then you can leave, after you have clearly stated that desire and reasons for it. But if you try and run away or escape, then we'll have another night like tonight, understand?" Ash spoke kindly but in a tone that held no room for argument, I nodded very hesitant, but willing to give living here a chance.

"Good, now with that settled, let's go to bed; it's been a long day." Ash said as he stood up and came around to where I was sitting, then picked me up, cradling me in his arms.

"We'll be up in ten Ashes," Jinxx said as he started putting things away, Ash nodded and started walking out of the room.

"Wait, where's Andy?"

"Oh, the Pup got voted to do laundry." I caught the two in the kitchen say before we were up the stairs.

Ash carried me through a door, and into a room where Andy was folding clothes on a _huge_ bed.

"Take these and shower, there's a green toothbrush and tooth paste on the counter, along with a hair brush, if you want to brush through that mop of yours." Andy said, handing me some gray gym shorts after Ash had set my on my feet, well foot and a half. I nodded and closed the door behind me, quickly showering then putting on the shorts and my shirt from earlier.

Everyone knew I was under weight, but I didn't want them to see how bad it really was. That and I really didn't want them to see all of my scars, after that I brushed my teeth then brushed and braided my hair. Yeah, it's girly; but it's better then it being a mess.

"CC you have to break the tie," Jake said, hopping up from where he was sat on the bed and picked me up and carried me over and dropped me next to Andy on the over sized bed, before sitting down in his old spot.

"Ok, what's this tie about?" I asked, looking at them all, they were all shirtless and in gym shorts, curled around each other and snuggling.

"Well Ash thinks that Andy and Jinxx have feelings for each other, and I don't; so you have to break the tie. Do they, or don't they?" Jake said, I looked between the two or them, Andy was beet red and wouldn't look at Jinxx, while Jinxx was pretending to be interested in a crossword puzzle and was also beet red.

"Have you asked them?" I asked uncomfortably, I couldn't care less if they liked each other or not, I just didn't like talking about this.

"Of course, though they deny it, they sure act as if they do." Ash said, pointing at their red cheeks.

"I think it's a maybe." I said, watching as Andy rolled over and hid his face in Jinxx' s chest.

"We do not!!" He groaned.

"Andy, you're not helping!!!" Jinxx hissed pushing him away. 

"Alright, bed time; get comfy." Ash said, getting up and turning out the light, he walked back over and curled around me, holding me as if I would break if he breathed to hard.

I mentally panicked as I tried to stay as still as possible, I so wasn't used to touch especially non harmful touch, that I had no clue what to do.

"Go to sleep Pup, nobody's going to hurt you." Ash whispered, nuzzling my hair, _yeah tell that to the vampire that's less than five feet from me._ I thought sarcastically and yet being totally serious, somehow I slowly blocked it all out long enough to fall asleep, but i couldn't help the nightmare that followed.

**Dream:**

**I was running through a dark hallway with an alarm blaring and red lights flashing, _yes, I'm trying to escape... again._ There was shouting and people running all around. Coming to an intersection and looked around, using my ears more than my eyes I turned left as it was the quietest corridor and charged down it dodging a cart of supplies. **

**Before darting past the grip of a man in a white lab coat, hearing a radio crackle and the man saying.**

**"Northwest corridor, headed up." I ran even faster, glancing over my shoulder I slammed into a rock hard body, "now, now, now, what do we have here?" He mused, "a runner, oh what fun for me..." he wrapped his hand around my throat before I could get out of his reach, and threw me into the wall, while I was dazed he grabbed my throat again and dragged me back the way I had run, while I fought against his hold.**

**As we got closer to the room where they punished me I fought against the vampire even more, that resulted in me getting thrown against the wall even harder.**

**"Stop struggling and I might not kill you mutt!!" He snarled, punching me in the stomach before pulling me into the room, he turned to face me with an evil smirk.**

**"N-no please..." I begged as I fought to be free of his grasp, he only smirked and wrenched my head to the side before he sunk his fangs into my neck.**


	10. His Full Name is Ashley??

CC's P.O.V

I sat up screaming the feeling of fangs still in my skin.

"CC what happened, what's wrong?" Andy said as Jake turned on the lights, I shrieked and scrambled off the bed hitting my sprained ankle in my rush to get away from them and went to the corner of the room. I covered my neck with my hands and sobbed crying out as the dream went on repeat.

"CC, calm down you're safe, they can't hurt you here." Ash said as he came closer with a blanket, he spoke softly as he covered me with it. I continued to sob as I hid under the blanket clawing at my neck to try and get rid of the feel of his fangs that wouldn't go away.

"CC, what happened Pup?" Ash said softly, I whimpered calming down enough to realize that I hadn't been bitten, I had just scratched at my skin and the scars so hard that I started bleeding.

"Can you talk to me CC, was it a nightmare? Is that why you're so spooked?" He asked, pulling the blanket away from my face, I nodded and looked at him then at the others that were sitting on the bed watching, then back at Ash with terror in my eyes.

"Jake' s not going to hurt you-"

"I'll just go into a different room Ashley." Jake cut him off, _his full name is Ashley!?_ Before he left the room with vampire speed.

"try to calm down alright? I'll be right back." Ashley said quickly before going after Jake.

Jake's P.O.V 

"Why are you asking me to do this Ash?" I hissed, crossing my arms where we stood down the hall from the main bedroom where Andy and Jinxx were still trying to calm CC down after his nightmare.

"Because you're the best one to do it." My brother replied, although it didn't make me feel better about the situation.

"What if I make it worse, or I hurt him? He already thought I was going to kill him when we were in the woods earlier, can't we just wait till he's more used to us?" I whispered, my eyes starting to turn to my golden wolf eyes with nerves.

"He needs to know that you won't hurt him, I wouldn't ask you to do this if I thought you would, alright? We have to start somewhere Jake." He answered, I sighed and nodded walking back into the room, Ashley following me.

CC glanced up as we walked in, tears falling down his face, our eyes locked and he cowered farther into the corner, whimpering softly.

I looked back at Ashley, who nodded and pushed me forward a bit, I sighed and walked over to CC dropping to my knees beside him.

"N-no please, I'm s-sorry, d-don't please." He begged, pressing himself even farther into the corner.

"CC, I'm not going to hurt you," I said, as I looked at his neck, it was covered in blood the source being several deep scratches, bordering on gashes, that oozed blood, he sobbed and whimpered something I didn't catch. Before I thought too much about it, I picked him up and set him in my lap, holding him gently but firm enough so that he couldn't move, CC screamed, but made no attempts to get away, he just moved his head to the side.

"Please don't make it hurt so much," CC whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, I wasn't sure if he had meant for me to hear it or not.

"I'm not going to bite you Pup, I'm not trying to hurt you; just heal the scratches. I know you don't believe me, but it's true." I murmured, unsure as to whether he could understand me or not right now.

CC just kept crying, Ashley made a 'continue' motion, I nodded and reluctantly dipped my head down and gently started to lick at his wounds, I held back a shutter at the metallic taste, and continued to clean and heal his skin. _What? Vamps can do that._

"Good boy," I coed pulling back and taking the wet rag Jinxx handed me and carefully cleaned the drying blood from the rest of his shoulder, before handing CC over to Ashley, CC was still crying but had calmed down some, as he nuzzled into Ashley's chest and passed out from exhaustion.

**End Dream.**

CC' s P.O.V

I bolted awake my hand going straight to my neck, I pulled it away and sighed with relief when it wasn't covered in blood.

"You ok CC?" Andy asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I whispered, as I tried to steady my breathing.

"You sure, what happened?" He asked quietly, because the others were still sleeping.

"Weird dream, I'm fine." I answered, running a hand across my eyes.

"Ok, then go back to sleep." Andy said, before laying back down, I nodded and laid back down curling into Ashley.

"Hey Andy?" I whispered, sitting up so I could see him and he wasn't blocked by Jinxx.

"Yeah?" Andy replied, opening one eye.

"Is Ash' s full name really Ashley?" I asked, blushing at how stupid the question was.

"Yup it's Ashley, now go to sleep." He laughed lightly before closing his eye again, I laid back down and curled up against Ashley' s chest.


	11. Sink Your Teeth into Forever!!

CC' s P.O.V

It's been about a month of living here, and I was starting to get comfortable here, sleeping was easier even though I still had nightmares, I was able to calm down and for the most part fall back asleep, thanks to wolf pile snuggles and music. Right now it was just Andy and I at the house, Ashley, Jake, and Jinxx were at some music thing and the two of us couldn't go because there was alcohol and an age limit, so we were watching Batman, because why not?

After the third movie ended it was past eleven and Andy said he had to do a perimeter check and that the guys would get back while he was out.

So now it's just me, I was putting the hot chocolate mugs into the dishwasher when the front door opened and the three of them stumble/walked in, Ashley and Jinxx flopped onto the couch and passed out, while Jake walked into the kitchen. He looked around the room till he saw me and his eyes lit up, he walked over to me trapping me against the counter.

"You're so cute CC," he giggled, swaying slightly, _ok drunk Jake is creepy._

"Go to bed Jake," I said, slipping past him and walking away, he grabbed my wrist and spun me around his eyes flashing red with hunger.

"Don't be like that Pup," Jake purred, pulling me into his chest, he buried he head in my neck and inhaled deeply.

"Jake leave me alone!" I growled, shoving him off of me before I went to walk away quickly going upstairs and into my room shutting the door. I went to the far side of my bed and crouched down, as Jake opened the door, his eyes red and when he saw me he smiled showing me that his fangs had come out too. He took a few steps into my room and closed the door, ignoring when I growled at him for intruding on my territory, we all have our own rooms that no one is aloud in unless invited.

"Get out of my room!" I tried to sound harsh but, I was scared and my voice betrayed it so it was more of a sob than anything, Jake didn't say anything, he just pulled me into his chest again before I could move. It was when I felt him looking for my vein that I really started to get scared and fought against him.

"s-stop!" I gasped, pulling away stumbling in my hurry to get away from him. Jake walked forwards, pushing me into a corner, I tried to run past him but he caught me and went back to my neck.

"No Jake, stop please." I tried getting free again but I couldn't, just as he was about to sink his fangs into my pulse, I kneed him in the crotch and took off running through the halls Jake right on my tail. 

"That wasn't very nice!!" He complained, before he was in front of me pinning me to the wall.

"Jake please stop, you're scaring me, please don't do this, please?" I whispered as tears filled my eyes.

"Relax Pup." Jake said kissing my forehead before pulling me into his room and shut the door, pressing me against it with his body right up against mine he kissed up and down the left side of my neck. I pushed and hit at his chest as I started to cry.

"S-stop, I can't do this, please; I don't want this!" I said through tears.

"Just relax." Jake murmured, sucking on my pulse and lightly scraping it with his fangs, but not biting down making me whimper with fear. 

After a few minutes of him playing around, Jake bit down his fangs slicing into my skin, making me cry out and sob harder. He didn't add the extra pain like the other vampires did when they drank from me, but Jake was taking blood without me consenting, so it still felt like my veins were being set on fire. Jake groaned pressing his body closer and gripping my shoulders as he sunk his teeth even deeper, I sobbed and hit at his chest begging and pleading with him to stop.

_Maybe I could call Andy-no! He's not back yet and even if he was, he'd take Jake's side, so we can't._ I blocked out the fact that someone I thought I could trust was drinking from me and let my mind go blank, that is until my vision started to fade and the ringing in my ears was louder than my own thoughts, I cried out as the pain got worse.

"J-Jake, s-stop, I-I'm gonna pass out." I sobbed, starting to panic again, Jake finally heard me or just now cared, and retracted his fangs licking at the blood that had dripped down my neck.

"Good pup." Jake murmured, picking me up and walked over to his bed laying us both down, my vision went dark and I passed out scared that something would happen while I was out.

I forced my eyes open pain shooting through my body but mostly my neck, _what happened?_ I sat up and looking around I didn't recognize the room, I looked down seeing that my shirt was covered in dark and drying blood and Jake was asleep his arms around me, that was all it took for me to remember what happened. _Jake bit me, but what did I do? Did I break a rule? I don't think I did..._

I got out of Jake' s arms and left the room as quickly as I could stumbling down the hall to my room where I grabbed clean clothes and went to the bathroom down the hall.

I peeled off my shirt and shorts and got in the shower, being as quiet as I could since it was about two in the morning I scrubbed at my neck, holding back cries when it sent shock waves of pain through me. Once the water ran free of blood and I had washed everything I could at least three times I got out and got dressed, grabbed my bloody clothes and going to my room locking the door and hid under the covers crying myself back to sleep.


	12. If It's Cold We'll Wear Socks.

CC's P.O.V

I woke up again around seven, feeling like I got hit by a truck, I dragged myself out of bed and made sure that my hair and shirt covered the bite and bruise. Once it just looked like I got hit by a truck and not bit by a vampire, I unlocked my door and slipped out of my room and down stairs where I quickly did my chores and ate something small but made sure to drink a lot of water. I slipped back to my room before Jinxx and Ashley who were still on the couch started to wake up, and went back to sleep because my vision was starting to fade.

" _Psst_ , CC!" _~Clunk~_

"Wake up!" _~Clunk~ ~clunk~ What's going on?_

"Wake up kid!" _~clunk~ What keeps hitting my head? ~clunk~_

"Wake up!!!" _I don't wanna wake up!!_

I gave up trying to sleep after a few more minutes of getting lightly pelted with _somethings_ , I don't know what they were. I groaned and rolled over opening my eyes to see Andy sat right outside my door, a bowl of cereal in his lap which he was using as ammunition for his attack on my sleep.

"Good you're awake now! I was starting to get worried that you were dead or something." He said smiling brightly.

"'Feels like it." I muttered, sitting up and wrapping my blanket around me, for warmth and in case my shirt and hair had moved and you could see the most likely massive bruise on my shoulder, neck, and chest.

"Why do you say that? Are you sick? You've been asleep _all_ day, it's almost 4!" Andy rambled, I groaned again and fell into myself to lay back down, the blanket covering me completely in its warmth, "Ash! I think the Pup's sick!" I heard Andy call, though it was muffled, I didn't really care and let my eyes close; sleep taking me in its grasp again.

"CC?" _Why can't they just let me sleep?! I'm so tired..._ "Wake up Pup," Ashley said, a hand gently touching my bruised shoulder, I bit my lip to keep from crying out, but didn't move. I was so tired that even breathing was hard, my body was too heavy to move.

"What's wrong Ash, is he OK?" Jinxx's voice hissed, before Ashley moved the comforter away from my face.

"Hey, you alright honey?" he whispered, I forced my eyes open and saw his blurry figure crouched besides my bed while the other three were stood in the doorway, before my eyes slid closed; I was still awake but, didn't have the strength to keep them open anymore.

"Can anyone else smell blood?" Jake muttered, _crap! Did I not hide the clothes well enough? Does he remember and is trying to get me in trouble again? Does he not remember and will hate me when he finds out?_ My already uneven breathing became even more unsteady as my thoughts raced.

"Yeah, now that you mention it; but it doesn't smell fresh." Andy said, a hand was placed against my forehead, trying to see if my temperature was high or not.

"CC, can you open your eyes for me?" Ash whispered, the hand on my forehead moved to stroking my hair softly, I tried to do as he asked but I couldn't. My body just wouldn't respond, "can one of you go get me a wet cloth?" He directed to the three wolves hovering at the boundary of my room, (which doesn't apply to Alphas in some instances. i.e this one.) The sound of feet retreating was heard along with the sound of water.

A minute or two later something cold and wet was pressed against my forehead and cheeks, making me squeal and pull away, now able to open my eyes; which were wide in tired surprise.

"There he is!" Ash said smiling brightly, I got over the shock of the water and pulled the blanket tightly around me and sat up, blinking my eyes as I tried to clear them.

"Are you OK CC, what happened? You've been in your room all day and apparently asleep." He questioned, his eyes looked full of concern.

"I-I'm fine, just tired." I whispered, glancing nervously at Jake and the other two, before looking away quickly, and pulling the blanket tighter around me. Ashley looked like he was going to say something but decided not to, instead he smiled and stood up.

"OK, come on down stairs, dinner's ready. Oh, and don't forget your dirty laundry." He said as the four of them started to walk away, I nodded and with a sigh forced myself out of bed and over to the mirror to fix my hair and shirt to cover everything. Before grabbing my dirty clothes and wrapping up the bloody shirt inside of everything went down stairs. 

I put everything in the laundry basket, hoping that no one would go through it and find the shirt, before I went into the dinning room. My seat was between Jake and Ashley, I sat down glancing nervously at Jake from the corner of my eye as I picked at my food.

"At least try to eat Pup," Ash murmured, sensing my hesitation, I stabbed a few green beans with my fork, I saw someone smile from the corner of my eye and froze, setting the fork down quietly and putting my hands in my lap keeping my eyes on them.

"No thank you Sir, I'm not hungry," I whispered, remembering when at the lab the guards would hit me if I tried to eat the food they gave me. Would they do it too? I didn't know, but I didn't want to find out, I cowered in my seat waiting for one of them to say or do something.

"Is something wrong CC?" Ashley asked, placing a hand on my shoulder, I shook my head nervously.

"I'm just really tired, may I go to bed now?" I whispered, trying to play it off and believe that they wouldn't hurt me.

"Sure, but I think it would be best if you slept with us tonight, in case you're sick or something." Ashley said, smoothing his hand over my hair, which made me flinch away and lean into his touch at the same time.

"yes sir." I mumbled and took my dishes to the kitchen, after putting them away I went upstairs to my room. 

"Hey, you coming?" Jake asked, knocking on my door and opening it.

"Yeah." I whispered, cutting off the light and following him down the hall, after closing my door; Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked which made me tense up.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked as we walked into the room, I nodded pulling away from him and went to my spot on the bed. Arms wrapped themselves around me, I tensed and whimpered quietly; knowing it was just Ashley but I was still not used to touch and it freaks me out when I'm not expecting it.

"Easy Pup, it's just me," he murmured, I nodded and relaxed a little after he picked me up and set me in his lap.

"Maybe we should all start wearing bells around our necks so we stop scaring you." Andy said with a smile, Jinxx laughed and shoved his shoulder jokingly.

"So we're cats now it that it?" Jake chuckled, Andy shrugged looking at me with his head tilted.

"You're wearing your hair different today." He stated questioningly, I shrugged moving my bangs out of my eyes.

"Yeah, you are." Jake said, him noticing made me shift uncomfortably.

"Does it matter?" I mumbled, looking down at my hands that I had pulled into my shirt sleeves. 

"Not really, are you sure you're alright?" Ash questioned, catching my bangs and raking them back, gently scratching my scalp with his fingernails, he could feel how tense I was; I nodded and tried to relax more, not wanting him to worry about me. A few minutes later, after Andy convinced everyone that we should put bells on the shopping list, Jake smashed out the light and we all laid down, curling up together.

I was still getting used to the way we slept, I had woken up several times with my face on a bare chest and promptly freaked out, I asked Ashley one time why they didn't wear a lot of clothes all the time but especially to bed. He replied with, 'we're wolves, we only wear as much as we do, 'cause some of us grew up 'human' and if it's cold we'll wear socks.' The last part made me smile, I rolled over and curled into Ashley's chest, promptly falling asleep.


	13. Now You Know...

CC's P.O.V 

The next morning it was my turn to do laundry so nobody saw the bloody shirt, thankfully. After that I went to the bathroom to wash the bite mark, it was healing but still raw and sore. I had my shirt off and was pressing a cold rag against my neck, trying to make the swelling go down some. Hissing I glanced up at the mirror to see Jake standing in the doorway looking very pale. _I thought I locked it?!_ I gasped covering my chest with my shirt that I quickly grabbed and turned to face him. 

"What on earth happened?!" Jake gasped.

"Y-you'll hate me i-if I tell you." I whispered, as the others ran up.

"What's going on?" Ash demanded, I whimpered pressing my shirt closer to my skin.

"You'll hate me." I whispered again, shaking my head frantically when Jake came closer and pulled the shirt out of my hands and away from the bruise that went from below my collar bone, up and across my shoulder and onto my neck.

It was all sorts of shades of blacks, purples, and blues, with greens and yellows around the edges, I whimpered reaching for the shirt, but Jake stepped out of my reach, and I didn't dare to get closer to them.

"What is that?!" Ashley yelled shocked, I brought my hair around and covered it with my hands.

"I-it was my f-fault," I whispered, not looking at any of them.

"What happened?!" Ash demanded, I could feel his glare burning into me.

"J-Jake bit me." I stuttered, they all gasped, then the tears started.

"I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to break the rules! I-I didn't know I did, I'm sorry Alpha; I don't know what I did, I-I'll fix it! Please don't hate me Alpha, I didn't mean to disobey..." I sobbed, sinking to the ground.

"Christian go to your room." Ashley said, in the same dominating and cold voice he used when I tried to run away that one time, I whimpered softly and stood up keeping my head down.

"I'm sorry Alpha." I whispered, starting to walk past them.

"Stay there till one of us comes to get you." He said.

I nodded whispering a "yes sir," and went to my room, I curled up in the corner and cried, fear overtaking me. 

The door opened a while later, I don't know how long; I glanced up as Ashley walked through the door. I stood up and kept my eyes down.

"Look at me please." He said, stopping a few feet away from me, I looked up slowly making sure to keep my eyes soft so he knew I wouldn't challenge him; and I didn't look at him in the eyes directly, for the same reason.

"What do you have to say?" Ashley spoke softly, but his voice had a hard edge.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, tears still dripping down my face, he just looked at me, his expression unreadable.

"I didn't mean to disobey Alpha, I'm really sorry." I continued, scared he would be mad because I spoke without permission that time.

"Why didn't you say anything when it happened?!" Ashley demanded, his voice still quiet.

"I didn't want you to hate me, you were so kind and I broke the rules."

"What happened that night?" He asked, stepping away and pulling me towards the bed where we sat down, I told him what happened; tears still falling down my face. 

When I finished, Ashley pulled me into his lap; I whimpered confused, because he wasn't punishing me and I thought I was in trouble.

"Shh, you're not in trouble, and you didn't do anything wrong; you need to calm down now." He said softly, I turned in his arms and cried softly against his chest, _can he read minds or something?_

"Jake shouldn't have bit you, it's not OK and I've made sure he knows that, and he's not aloud to come near you for a few days. So don't think you've done something when he doesn't interact with you, 'cause you haven't. Calm down Pup," Ash murmured, holding me against him and rocking us back and forth softly. 

"Let me see the bite pup, I need to make sure it's healing." Ashley said after a long while and I had stopped crying, I pulled away from him and moved my hair out of the way, but I couldn't bring myself to move my head to the side so that he could see the bite fully.

"I need to be able to see it Pup," Ash murmured, taking hold of my head, and gently moving it to the side.

I whimpered, squeezing my eyes tightly shut when he placed his fingers across the broad side of my neck.

"That's it, good job; it seems to be healing nicely." He concluded, taking his hands off of my head and neck, I straightened up and moved my hair to cover the bite once again, I wanted to get a shirt as I hadn't put one on yet but was too scared to get one.

"Alpha? May I ask you something?" I asked hesitantly, he looked up from where his eyes were tracing some of the scars on my upper body. 

"You don't have to call me that when you're not in trouble. And of course, any question you can think of you may ask. What is it Pup?" He asked, smoothing my hair down.

"Um, a-are y-you-" I started but cut off, nervously scratching at the scars on my wrists, I cleared my throat and tried again.

"Are you going to make me go back to the lab now? I mean I understand why you'd want to, I'm nothing but a scarred up lab mutt who can't even tell if I'm in trouble or not." I rushed out, Ashley just stared at me; shock written all over his face. 

"What?" He breathed, I looked down fear clenching around my ribs making it hard to breathe, "why would you think that CC? I wouldn't even dream of sending you back to that horrible place. I promised to keep you safe and out of their hands, and that is exactly what I plan to do. They hurt you, yes; but you'll heal you just need some time Pup." Ash said, pulling me back into his lap so our chests touched, I wrapped my arms around him tucking my head under his chin and resting it on his shoulder, as I felt him kiss my hair; that was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment any questions, suggestions or concerns.
> 
> -Perfect Weapon


	14. Ghost Jake

CC' s P.O.V 

"I know you don't want to be around me, but at least let me apologize." Jake said, as he sat down next to me; I set my book down so I could listen to him. If only because Ashley asked me to 'at least hear him out.'

"I'm sorry CC, I was wrong to hurt you, I never should have bitten you; I'm sorry for everything I caused you. You have every right to hate me, and I'll give you as much space as I can for as long as you want." He continued, I shook my head slowly.

"It was my fault; I deserved it, I don't understand why you're apologizing." I whispered, I couldn't understand this, _they_ never even _looked_ guilty, it didn't make any sense in my mind as to why Jake was saying all of this.

"Christian, _none_ of this is your fault! How- why would you even think that?! H-how is that even a logical reaction!?" Jake gasped, grabbing my hand which made me shrink away, memories flashing across my mind.

"T-they always s-said it w-was, I'm sorry, please d-don't get mad, I d-didn't mean to m-make you mad." I tripped over my words, trying not to get into anymore trouble than I already was, as I tried to braced myself for when he would start yelling or something.

"CC," I lowered my head and whimpered softly, trying to show that I wasn't going to fight back, "they were lying Pup, it was _never_ your fault, and it never will be your fault. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, what they did; what I did, none of it was because of anything you did. You didn't do anything to deserve to get bit, if I could take it all away, I would. I'd reverse time to before anyone hurt you and get you somewhere safe." He said, gently pulling me into his lap, I choked off a sob of panic as he held me close.

"I'm not mad _at_ you CC, I'm mad that I hurt you," I whimpered, confused as I wanted to both run away from him and burry my head in his chest and let him comfort me all at the same time.

"I'm sorry CC, I'm so sorry. I want to take it all away, I'd take you somewhere safe so you'd never even meet a vampire, or humans that would hunt you down, and I'd make sure you never met me. You could have a nice childhood, not running down hallways trying to find the exit from your nightmares. Then you'd be safe from them, from me." Jake murmured, running his hand up and down my back and arms, I flinched when his hand brushed over some of the less healed scars through my shirt.

"Easy Pup you're safe, I won't hurt you, I love you too much to hurt you again." I couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or not, but before I could decide I passed out from exhaustion of not sleeping well, I hadn't been sleeping well if at all, the past few days and not having gained all the blood back yet. I could vaguely feel Jake pull a blanket over me and him rocking back and forth, before the darkness wrapped me in its arms.

**Dream:**

**I woke up with a searing pain in my wrists, I forced my eyes open and looked around the bright room. Bits of rope lay strewn with other things across the floor, I glanced up to try and figure out why my wrists hurt so much. Instantly I wished that I hadn't, my wrists were chained above my head the shackles around my wrists were covered in a reddish green but semi clear goo, wolf's bane. I whimpered 'no' and tried not to pull away and worsen the welts, blisters, burns and cuts, that were already covering my wrists.**

**"CC!?" A ghost like Jake gasped, he wasn't solid like the things in this room, but partially transparent.**

**"Get out of here?!" I tried to make it sound mean, but my voice cracked and it just sounded like a question, _ok this is a dream._**

**"CC, what's going on?" He asked, kneeling down in front of me.**

**"What will make you go away? You can't be here." I whispered, trying not to look at him as tears ran down my face, I know how this dream goes and I don't want him to see it, but if he did then it might be easier than trying to tell him.**

**"I'm not going to leave you, let's see if we can't get those cuffs unlocked, shall we?" He said softly, as he reached up to them, I moved my hands away from him shrieking in pain as I did so.**

**"Don't! You'll get it on you!" I said, as I heard footsteps coming closer and a key rattle in the lock to the door, I whimpered faintly as I tried to make myself smaller.**

**"Well, well, well, if it isn't the mutt; you must really like this if you keep coming back." The in charge Vampire smirked as he threw open the door, and walked over to where I was chained to the wall, I lowered my eyes to hopefully hide the fact that I was crying.**

**Ghost Jake moved so instead of him being beside me I was now in his lap, arms around me. The vampire didn't seem to notice Jake at all.**

**"It's just a dream now, you'll wake up and it'll be safe, you're not alone anymore." Jake whispered in my ear, the man in front of me grabbed the chain and pulled me to my feet roughly, I bit off a cry as the small barbs on the inside of the cuffs dug into my skin even more. Jake had stood up with me, keeping his arms around me, holding me to him, 'in charge' smirked and wrenched my head to the side quickly before sinking his fangs deep into my neck, I screamed in pain as fire shot through my veins.**

**"Breathe little one, calm down and it won't be as bad." Jake whispered, I whimpered as I saw a few of the other vampires walk through the door, before they got any closer and the worst part of the nightmare started, I passed out.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment any questions suggestions, or concerns. 
> 
> \- Perfect Weapon


	15. Sleep Well Pup

CC's P.O.V

I sat up panting and gasping for breath, my hands going to my neck as I felt for blood, nothing. Just the bruise that was starting to fade and the healed scars and healing marks.

"Easy, you're alright CC, breathe they can't hurt you anymore." Jake said as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me to him tightly, I gripped his shirt tightly as I hid my face in his chest and tried to steady my breathing.

"You're safe now pup, he can't hurt you anymore," Jake murmured as he rocked us back and forth, one of his hands smoothed down my hair while the other one was around my torso holding me to him. I whimpered curling into him, _why do I feel so comfortable being this close to him? I shouldn't be this relaxed around a vampire... but then why am I?_

"Shh, I'm here you're not alone anymore hun, I promise." He said, kissing my forehead softly, his long fingers wiping away the few tears that had rolled down my cheeks. I nodded blushing lightly as I tried to believe him as the others came in.

"Well looks like the two of you are making progress." Ashley said with a smile as the three of them sat down around the room, Jinxx pulled Andy down onto his lap in one of the big chairs and Ashley sat down on the couch a little ways away from where I was sitting in Jake' s lap.

"Sleep well Pup? " Andy asked, trying not to look too comfortable in Jinxx' s lap, I shook my head slightly.

"What was it about this time?" Ashley asked raising an eyebrow, I whimpered and shrunk back into Jake' s chest.

"You tell them, can't- 'hurts." I mumbled, rubbing at the scars on my wrists to try and take the pain away, they weren't actually hurting but my brain didn't know that.

"He was in a bright room chained to a wall, the cuffs well shackles were covered in wolf's bane and by the looks of it CC had been there for at least 12 hours." Jake started, holding me closer to himself, he took my left wrist in his hand and smoothed his thumb over the scars.

"Wait, Jake how do you know this?" Jinxx asked, looking puzzled.

"CC brought me into the dream, although it seemed he didn't know he could do that, right Pup?" Jake replied, looking at me I nodded a little, I didn't have a clue that was a thing or that I could do it, I don't even know _how_ I did it.

"Ok, so what happens next?" Ashley prompted.

"A vampire came in said something then pulled him off the ground, making the pup cry even harder, then bit him, hard. And at the end more were starting to come into the room, you want to add anything C?" Jake finished, I shook my head glad that the dream didn't go on to what happens next because it's normally a lot worse, and I didn't want him to know that.

I whimpered and buried my head back in Jake' s chest, trying not to think about it anymore.

"You ok honey?" Jake whispered, still holding onto my wrist lightly, I nodded not wanting to talk about it.

"I know you're lying, but I'll let it go for now. What happened before I got there?" He said gently.

"N-nothing, I just woke up and you appeared, s-sorry." I mumbled, squirming a little as Jake holding my wrist made alarm bells go off in my head.

"l-let g-go." I whispered, trying to pull my wrist away from him, Jake just held me closer.

"Calm down, you're safe." He murmured, I choked off a cry and tried to pull away again.

Jake' s P.O.V

CC tried to pull away again, but I couldn't let him go, he has to calm down first or at least try.

"P-please, I-I'm scared," he whimpered, weakly but desperately fighting against my hold on his wrist and around his upper body, I glanced at Ashley who shook his head and held up five fingers, I nodded.

"I know you are, but you're safe, calm down." I told him, _this is going to be a long five minutes,_ CC whimpered something I couldn't catch and clawed at my hand with his free one, still trying to get away.

"I'm not hurting you CC, nothing bad is going to happen, calm down." I said, he cried out and looked up at me tears running down his face before looking away as his breathing hitched.

"Please J-Jake stop touching them, it hurts! Please I-I don't want the cuffs again, please please... stop touching, I-I'm s-s-sorry I can't calm down, a-and you're mad, I-I'm trying, but I can't." CC sobbed, no longer fighting he just cried and gave me his other wrist. 

"I'm not mad at you Pup, I know it's hard for you to calm down, no cuffs not anymore," I murmured, gently rubbing his back we sat like this for a while the pup just cried and whispered 'please no' or something like that, until Ash nodded as the five minutes were up so I quickly let go of CC' s wrist to which he grabbed onto my shirt and continued to cry his head now tucked into the crook of my neck. I wrapped both of my arms around him holding him close.

"It's alright, that's it calm down, I'm so proud of you. You did so well Pup, breathe..." I murmured, slowly rocking back and forth. 

"I-I can't! Please, I'm s-sorry, please n-no! They hurt so bad, please n-no..." CC cried sitting up and tearing at the skin on his wrists, I gripped his forearms and pulled his hands apart.

"CC calm down honey, what's wrong?" I asked, he just fought against me.

"N-no c-cuffs please; I'm sorry! Please n-no, t-they hurt, I'm sorry; punish me some different way, please! I can't do it anymore, p-please n-no please, please..." he choked out between sobs so harsh I was worried he would throw up, he clawed at his wrists and drew blood, even though I was trying to keep them apart.

"We're not punishing you, that's right; no cuffs. It's alright CC we won't hurt you." I murmured looking at Ash, he got up and ran to the medical cabinet.

CC screamed and flung himself off my lap and took off running, Jinxx Andy and I ran after him tackling and pinning him to the ground. He looked up at me, with pure terror in his eyes.

"I-I'll let you take it, please don't make it hurt, please?" He whimpered, as he tried to stop fighting the three of us.

"It's alright Little One." Ashley murmured, as he gently sedated the crying boy, CC cried out once more then went limp, his eyes sliding close.

"That was the worst episode he's had since I don't even know how long." Andy said, and Jinxx and I wrapped CC' s wrists, we all nodded sadly before Ash carried the pup to his room, for the sleep he so desperately needed. 


	16. This Just Got Awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Read tags if you're not comfortable with any of them, don't read, this is the point in the story where we start getting into CC's backstory and it's graphic. 
> 
> -Perfect Weapon

CC' s P.O.V

"So when are you going to tell him?" _Why are they so intent on watching me sleep?_

"I don't see how I can now." _Was it Jake that replied?_

"Have you tried words? I don't know that might be a better way than out right kissing him." Ashley said, _maybe?_

As a warm hand settled across my forehead, I rolled away from it and sat up rubbing my eyes.

"Is this going to become a thing?" I whispered, looking at Ashley who was sitting cross-legged next to me; before I saw Jake sit up from the corner of my eyes, _why is he in here? Is that why my bed is so warm?_

"That depends, and Jake's only in here because he was the only thing that managed to calm you down." Ash explained, his eyes sweeping over me, I tilted my head confused.

"Nightmares." Jake offered, I nodded and pulled my sleeves over my hands, a nervous tick.

"What time is it?" I whispered, just realizing that I had no idea what time it was or even if it was night or day, as my curtains were drawn closed. 

"It's a little after seven the next morning from when you fell asleep," Ashley said as he and Jake stood up, I nodded in understanding, _'fell asleep' really? Y'all knocked me out,_ Ash held his hand out for me. 

I took it hesitantly and stood up, walking between them down stairs. After a slightly tense breakfast, we went into the basement/music room and practiced for a while, the guys were trying to teach me how to play the drums, since their old drummer quit the same time they found me.

I was sort of picking it up well, Jinxx says that I've got the rhythm for it, and that's coming from our rhythm guitarist, so I can't be that bad I guess. Anyways after that I was sitting at the coffee table in the living room trying to figure out what on earth my math book was talking about as I'm getting ready for school soon, that is until Jake came into the room and sat behind me gesturing for me to sit next to him, I complied pulling a blanket around my shoulders. 

"I think we should talk about that nightmare you pulled me into, CC." Jake murmured, pulling my upper body against his; so my shoulders were flush against his chest, _I think that's an awful idea, but that's just me._ I shrunk down into the blanket, and shrugged, not wanting to talk about it.

"Was it something that they really did or was it your imagination?" He asked, having the tone of 'I know you don't want to talk about it, but you need to.' Something they use a lot, and they're right I never _want_ to talk about these things.

"Real." I whispered nodding, knowing that if I didn't answer, I'd just get stuck talking about it for longer. _P_ _lease don't make me talk about this?_

"Was it all real, or just parts of it?" I shook my head.

"All of it." I muttered, nervously picking at the fuzz on the blanket that was rapidly getting too hot; as I became more agitated.

"What were the guys who were coming in at the end have to do with anything?" Jake asked, shifting slightly to get comfortable; which also allowed me to feel his heartbeat more clearly, _I guess there goes my hope for him not noticing that._

"Do, do I have to answer t-that?" I asked quietly, trying to keep my breathing matched with that of the overly physically affectionate vampire/werewolf hybrid holding me; _I still don't understand how that works, but anyway._ Jake was warm and surprisingly a good pillow, so I was trying not to freak out whenever he got all snugly.

"I'd like it if you did," he prompted, raking my hair back gently with the hand that wasn't wrapped loosely around my upper body. _I've been trying to bury those memories for years, (clearly it's not working, but I can still try...) So why would I tell you?!_

"But what if you don't like the answer? I don't wanna make you mad..." Yes, I was dodging the question, but it was easier than answering it; and it would make him less mad than answering it. "CC," he sighed, gently pressing a kiss to my head.

"I'm not going to be mad at you for something they did. You didn't have a choice on whether you wanted to be there or not, so why would I blame you for something you couldn't control?" He asked while turning my face towards him, I moved so I was nestled up against his side, and shook my head not making eye contact with him.

"It won't matter, you'll hate me anyway," I whispered, as I felt tears start to well up in my eyes, he doesn't understand.

"I could never hate you, I love you Pup." Jake hummed, taking my hand in his and intertwined our fingers. 

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head again, making a strangled noise in my throat as I remembered my dad saying the same thing so long ago.

"No, you will," I insisted, pulling my hand away from his, as the feel of their hands on my skin burned itself into my memory all over again.

"Can you tell me why you don't want to tell me?" He asked shifting gears, I took a deep breath which only made my chest hurt worse.

"I don't want you to do it too." I gasped, my breathing becoming more rapid like the flames in the fireplace, I was now staring at to avoid his eyes.

"What did they do CC?" Jake asked slowly, his voice a forced calm, I shook my head not wanting to tell him.

"CC, what did they do?" He asked again, his voice strained, I shook my head and covered my face with my hands to hold in the cries.

"They took turns." I finally sobbed as tears fell down my face.

"Took turns? I'm not understanding you Pup, like drinking from you? I'm not following." Jake rambled, I just sobbed pulling away from him. 

"You mean they rap-" he started but cut off, "Shit, what the fuck is wrong with those MotherFuckers!!!!!!!" I scrambled backwards away from him and ran right into a warm body, I froze and let out a soft whine closing my eyes tightly as I waited for something to happen.

I flinched when a hand rested on my right shoulder.

"Open your eyes Little One." Jinxx's voice murmured, I only shut them tighter and choked off a sob.

"I'm sorry! Please, I'm sorry..." I begged, knowing it was pointless; if they were anything like the people at the lab.

"We won't hurt you Pup, breathe." Jinxx reassured, wrapping the blanket back around my shoulders and pulling me against him.

"I'm sorry, *sob* please don't- don't h-hurt me. Please," I whimpered, starting to shake with fear.

"We won't hurt you Pup, breathe." Jake murmured, as he came and curled around my side that wasn't pulled up against Jinxx, then Andy said it and joined the hug, and lastly Ash did as well. 

A few minutes went by and I couldn't bare the feel of their touch anymore, with every small movement another memory and the pain it brought seared it's way through the front of my mind. So, I scrambled out of the dog pile we had made and ran towards the front door.

"Let him go Jake..." Ashley objected when he started after me, I sobbed as I opened it and took off across the field to the woods, I bolted past the tree line; shedding clothes as I went before shifting (unsteadily) into my wolf form.

I shook out my gun metal grey fading to black at my paws, muzzle and tail, fur; as I ran a wide loop around the house, trying to relax my head.

_I thought we weren't going to tell them? Then why did we?! Now they hate us and we ran away so we'll get in trouble. Running's all I know- then why do we always get caught? I didn't say I was good at it..._

With that I tripped over a fallen tree branch and fell head over heals down a ditch, yelping as I did so, I rolled to my feet and took off up the other side of it, continuing on my way to try and out run my memories. 

With every lap around the house, my mind calmed a little bit more; I ran till the sun went down and well into the night. The moon had reached its apex and had already started to descend when I finally calmed down enough that I no longer had the adrenaline to keep going and collapsed under a weeping willow; panting. After resting for a while, and catching my breath I knew Ashley would be worried if I didn't come back. 

_Why bother? It's not like he cares about us, not really. But if we go back then we have a small chance of staying out of really big trouble for trying to run away. Yeah OK, good point, not that they'll believe us if we say we weren't trying to run._

With that I pulled myself to my paws and slowly walked back to the house, as the sun started to rise. When I got to the house all the lights were off, but I couldn't make myself go inside; I didn't know a lot about pack law but I knew enough that it was not recommended to get to close to an Alfa when they're most likely mad at you. So in the spirit of not getting a chuck of flesh bitten out of me, I laid down under the porch steps and passed out from exhaustion. 


	17. And That's When I Smelt Fire.

CC' s P.O.V

"Have you found anything?" A voice cut through the quiet of my sleeping mind.

"Only the clothes." Someone else replied, sounding nervous.

"Where is he?" The first voice, my mind registered as Ashley's sighed.

"Jake have you found anything!" He shouted.

"He didn't even go near the boundary line, only ran in a big circle, just past the tree line." Jake replied running up slightly out of breath, I blinked the sleep from my eyes and crawled out from under the porch still in wolf form, keeping my belly on the ground and my tail between my legs.

With my eyes down, I whined apologetically getting their attention almost immediately.

"Christian! There you are, we were so worried about you!" Ash said, dropping to his knees and hugging my upper body to his chest, I whined again and licked at his jaw line, a sign of submission to wolves. "Shh, lets get you inside Pup." He soothed as he picked me up and carried me inside, the other three following. 

After I had shifted back and gotten dressed, (as per orders.) I opened my door and walked out nervously, I shrunk down and whimpered silently when Jake firmly set his hand down on my shoulder as he took me down stairs to where the others were waiting.

"Do you want to explain what you were doing outside _all_ night long Christian?" Ashley asked in a tone that gave me no choice in the matter, when Jake and I sat down at the kitchen table where the rest of them were already waiting.

I looked down at my hands sitting in my lap, as I tried to swallow the lump of fear.

"I-I was trying to calm down, running was the only thing that felt safe. But I wasn't try-trying to run away, I had no intentions to disobey Alfa, I'm sorry." I said, keeping my voice and eyes low.

"You weren't trying to run away? Just run yourself to death, is that it?" He retorted.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, swallowing dryly.

"Why didn't you come back inside after you had calmed down?"

"I didn't want you to be mad that I was too close to your pack while I was in trouble. I wasn't trying to hide from you earlier; I didn't hear you calling for me, otherwise I would've come to you, I'm sorry." I told him the truth, _if we were still at the lab they'd have us- I know, you don't need to remind me! I was gonna say beat, I don't know where your mind is._

"Ash?" Andy whispered.

"Technically he followed the rules, though in an... unconventional way." He continued.

"Oh come on, we've all done the same thing, and for longer too!" Jake exclaimed, as he sat back in his chair, I knew that they were only having part of the conversation out loud, the rest of it was through the pack bond the four of them shared. Jinxx says that the 'bonding process' would start soon, but after this; I highly doubt it becoming a reality any time soon, if ever.

"Yes, but there weren't psychos after you guys! Even with the wards up they're only so effective, it's too dangerous!" Ashley barked, I shrunk further down in my seat, as I realized that I had put them all in danger.

"When was the last time humans even came close to the boundary line Ashley? Let alone get through it?" Jinxx inquired crossing his arms, I whimpered quietly as a burning sensation spread across my upper back and over my shoulder to my chest, _why is our skin burning? How should I know?_

"Christian," Ashley's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, I looked up at the man nervously.

"I'm not mad at you, understand?" He continued, _could've fooled me,_ but I nodded anyway.

"I'm just worried about you, when I took you in it became my job to keep you safe. I understand that some things are hard to talk about and you feel threatened, that you need your space because of what happened; I get that." Ashley murmured, taking my hand in his, and Jake took my other one.

"But it's not safe to stay away from us for too long, even if the people from the lab haven't found us yet, they still might; we live in a pack for a reason. So if you need space, that's OK, but you _have_ to come back inside." Andy spoke, his voice kind but worried, my back still burnt but not as intense, I nodded keeping the motion as small as I could.

"Ok? Alright then, come here Pup." Ash finished gently, pulling me into a hug that the others quickly joined. 

"I won't do it again, I mean I'll come back, un-unless you don't want me to, th-then you won't ever see me again. I'll leave, I didn't mean to put all of you in danger, I'm really sorry." I whimpered quietly against whoever's chest I had been pulled against.

"Shh Pup, calm down now, calm down." Jake hushed, Ash pulled me closer pressing a kiss to my forehead, as I curled into him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment if you have questions, suggestions or concerns! 
> 
> -Perfect Weapon


	18. That's What that Means...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you're not comfortable with the tags or the warnings don't read.
> 
> -Perfect Weapon

CC's P.O.V

After the slightly awkward hug, I went upstairs to see if I could figure out why my back was burning. I went into the bathroom and after double checking that the door was locked I took off my shirt, and gasped at the markings that were now covering my upper back, shoulder and part of my chest.

I made my own pack markings appear to see if they matched but they didn't, the new ones were completely different. _What's this mean? How am I supposed to know, you're the wolf, shouldn't you know?!_

three slim black lines ran over my shoulder with one thicker line in the middle, that has short lines cutting it into sections horizontally all the way down, with another three skinny lines on the other side.

Mine on the other hand, I had X's lining my arms, a large one on each of my hips and several covering my stomach and chest. I made mine disappear, trying with the new marks but nothing happened before putting my shirt back on and leaving the bathroom. 

"Umm, Jinxx? Can, can I ask you something?" I whispered, knocking on the door frame to the library, he looked up from the book he was reading.

"Sure what's up?" He asked, motioning me in; I hesitantly took a few steps into the room, pulling my sleeves over my hands nervously.

"Umm, I don't know how to explain-" I cut myself off, pulling my shirt over my head, waving at the markings on my shoulder, "they aren't mine." Jinxx stood up walking closer to me, brushing his finger tips over it.

"How long has this been here?" He asked.

"It just showed up today," I replied, not making eye contact with him.

"Ok, show me your markings please."

I made them appear which took a few minutes because I was really nervous.

"Huh, ok... Sit down and stay put." Jinxx instructed, looking at them for a minute or two, before muttering to himself as he walked over to the bookshelves.

"Did I do something wrong?" I whispered, flinching when Jinxx pulled a book off the shelf opened it, then dropped it on the table.

"Wrong? no, just might be important..." He trailed off as he opened another book, "here it is, stay put I'll be back in a few minutes." And with that Jinxx walked out of the room with a book in hand, leaving me to wonder what on earth was going on. 

A few minutes later, Jinxx came back in dragging Ashley behind him and shut the door.

"Ashley sit, CC we need to talk," Jinxx started, Ash sat down next to me while Jinxx sat in front of us on the coffee table, I nodded nervously, edging away from Ashley.

"Ok so this isn't going to make much sense if I try to explain it to you, so just read this." Jinxx stated, handing me the book that he left with earlier, it was open to a chapter titled. 

_**'Soul Mates and Their Marks.'** _

_**Two people are known as Soul Mates when they have each others pack markings on their skin, normally in place of some of their own markings. These two are then said to be destined to be together. As the bond between them grows their markings will intertwine with each other.** _

_**This process can take hours, days, weeks or even years before the two will be fully intertwined and ready for the next step in the process of becoming fully bonded Mates.** _

I choked on my breath as I reread it, _does that mean? I think it does... No no no, we can't do this!_

"May-may I be excused for a minute?" I whispered, not giving them time to respond before I got up and walked out of the room before running upstairs into my room, quietly shutting the door and falling to the ground. _Mate? With Ashley? N-no I mean we can't, not like that..._

"CC? Is everything alright?" Jake asked knocking on the door a few minutes later, I shook my head as I wiped the tears I just realised I was crying away, only after he called me again did I remember that the door was shut and he couldn't see me, so shaking my head didn't do anything. I unlocked the door, as a silent invitation to come in, before burying my head in my knees.

The door opened soon after but I didn't look up as Jake came in and sat down next to me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, gently stroking my hair for a minute or two while I took shuddering breaths as I tried to regain my composer. 

"I can't do this Jake," I sobbed, turning into his chest as I continued to panic.

"Shh, what about it is scaring you Pup?" He asked, softly stroking my hair.

"I-I can't do it... What he wants- he's gonna hate me!" I choked out, shutting my eyes to try and stop seeing what I feared would happen.

"Ash could never hate you-"

"He will-he does! And I deserve it, I'm not good enough for him. I-I tried to stop them- really I tried, but I couldn't and I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." I protested whimpering, I didn't want Ashley to hate me, but I knew he did and there wasn't anything I could do about it. 

"Wait Christian, you think Ashley hates you because of what the vampires did to you?" Jake stated after a few minutes, I nodded choking down my cries and shrinking away from him, use to hearing my full name only when I was in trouble.

"And you think that Ash is going to hurt you the same way the vamps did, because of what the vamps did?" He continued, again I just nodded, "honey why would you think that? Has Ash ever hurt you, or done anything to make you think that he would hurt you?" Jake asked, lifting my face and making me look at him, wiping some of my tears away.

"N-no, but all I know about s-s-sex is pain and fear, knowing it gets worse if I fight back. A-and being Mates means sex; I want to be good, I'm trying to; but I'm scared, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me." I stammered, Jake just held me closer as I cried, every now and then whispering things to calm me down. Most of it didn't work, but I eventually fell asleep listening to his heart beat. 

Ashley's P.O.V 

"He said what?!" I hissed, from where I sat in the open doorway of CC's room, as Jake wanted to talk but couldn't leave because if he did, the pup would start sobbing again.

"Lower your voice, I've got no idea how he'll react to seeing you if he wakes up." Jake chided, softly petting CC's head as he stirred, Jake nodded confirming what he had told me was true which also confirmed one of my greatest fears in this whole situation.

CC was terrified of me, specifically of me hurting him; which considering how he was or wasn't is a better word for it, rasied... Shouldn't be a surprise and while I knew in the back of my mind that he would be, I was hoping that his past would cut him some slack, and let him be happy for a little while. 

"Ashley! Are you paying attention to anything I just said?" Jake whisper yelled at me, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, what? No, not really." I replied shaking my head in an attempt to clear it.

"I said, 'he's waking up what do you want to do about it?'" He repeated, as CC started rolling around a little bit as he started to stir.

Before I had time to respond his eyes started to flutter open, I quickly hid around the corner shutting the door almost all the way. I just hope that he won't be too frightened as I knew that he could still smell me, and with the two of us being Mates it will be almost impossible for us to not notice each others scents. 

"Jake?"

"Yeah Pup, what is it?" Whatever was said next I couldn't understand, as it was mumbled and Jake sneezed through it, but he apparently understood.

"Shh, remember what we did to help make you more comfortable around me? Yeah? Well you and Ash can do the same type of thing- he's not gonna hate you Pup."

What we did to get CC to tolerate Jake's touch was a little out there, endless games of 'tag' and 'copy cat' we still had some things to work on but he's doing much better then he was a few months ago. 

_Will he always be scared of us? I don't know, I hope not..._

"Ash can you come in here please?" Jake asked, using our telepathic link, where CC couldn't hear us going back and forth.

"Why? You heard him, he's terrified of me." I replied sulking slightly.

"Of what you _might_ do, not _of_ you." He emphasized.

"But-!" I protested.

"Now!" Jake then proceeded to continue to "yell" at me. A few minutes later I gave up, standing and gently knocking on the door before opening it slowly.

CC looked up at me briefly with terrified eyes before unfurling from Jake's side and sitting on the edge of his bed.

"You can come in," he barely even whispered, playing with the hem of his shirt nervously.

"That's Alright, I can stay out here if it makes you more comfortable." I murmured softly, he just shook his head and waved me in keeping his head hung low.

Slowly I walked into the room, unlike a typical teenage boy; CC's room was almost spotless. As if he were terrified of making a mess and he most likely was, I sat down on the bed gently, next to him, leaving plenty of room inbetween us.

After sitting in silence for a few minutes as Jake slipped out of the room CC drew a deep breath.

"Be gentle," he spoke quiet and timid.

"What?" I replied not understanding what he ment, he whimpered and brought his legs up to sit cross legged to maintain the space between us, pulling his sleeves down over his hands.

"I know what's coming, so I'm asking now; be gentle?" His voice so quiet that if the room hadn't been silent I wouldn't have been able to hear him. 

"CC, why do you think I'm going to hurt you?" I asked, hesitantly reaching out and taking one of his hands in mine, he flinched but didn't move away.

"They all do." He whispered, a tear rolling down his left cheek, _'why, why did you tell him that? Now he'll really hurt us, 'cause they did and, and it's all our fault!'_

I wasn't sure if he knew he said that aloud or if he ment to. Either way I heard it, and it's all I can do to not pull him into my arms right now. A few more tears slipped down his face and he started to visibly shake.

"It's not your fault, I'm never going to blame you, or take it out on you, or be mad at you. What the vampires did to you, is _their_ fault, I blame _them_ , I'd take it out on _them_ , I'm mad at _them,_ ok; not you." I explained and as gently as I could, reached to wipe away his tears; he just flinches as if expecting to be hit.

"I'll be good, I promise. 'Follow all the rules to the 't' I promise, just please, please be gentle? If only for the first time, please?" CC stammers, pulling back and slumping against the headboard his knees to his chest, eyes wide open with fear as tears streamed down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment with any questions, suggestions or concerns! 
> 
> -Perfect Weapon


	19. So We're Celtic?

CC's P.O.V 

I held my knees to my chest as I waited for Ashley to scream at me or something, but to my confusion he only looked at me with sad eyes.

"CC, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." He murmured, edging closer, _he's gonna hurt us! Don't let him hurt us CC! I'm scared..._

"Please be gentle, please?" My chest was so tight with fear that I couldn't breathe.

"CC, come here?" Ash murmured patting the bed next to him, I gave a small whine as I began pulling off my shirt.

"What are you-? Stop it!" Ashley gasped, firmly gripping my hands and stopping my trying to remove the shirt.

"Look CC, if we aren't _both_ 110% ok with something then _nothing_ even remotely sexual is going to happen. I know you think that being mates means sex, which it can. But it doesn't have to, and it's not all about that, we could go our entire lives and never be sexual and I would be totally ok with it. Because we will be best friends." 

Ashley moved his hands to cradle mine gently in an attempt to calm their shaking.

"I'll be here for you, no matter what; if you need someone to hold you while you're coming out of a panic attack or someone to comfort you when you wake up screaming from a nightmare; or if you just want someone to talk to, I'm always going to be there." He reassured, his thumbs running up and down my knuckles softly.

"B-but if-" I stammered choking on a sob, Ash put his arm around my shoulders, they shuddered against my will as he pulled me against his side.

"Look, I know this isn't the greatest time for a history lesson but," Ashley started handing me an old piece of notebook paper that he had pulled out of his pants' pocket.

"Centuries ago; a Celtic pack of Werewolves settled in the land that my pack is from. There was a war between them for generations until the Alfas of both packs had children that grew to be soul mates. And from that wedding were born these vows, which are used in every ceremony that wants to honor and remember the past; only thing is one can't _just_ say the words written on that paper. They have to _truly_ mean them." He continued, my breathing hitched as I tried to understand what he was saying.

"My point being, if we're going to do this; then we're going to do this right." Ash murmured, unfolding the paper and cradling my hands in his larger one since they still wouldn't stop shaking. 

Ashley's P.O.V 

CC felt as if he might fall over at any second, or that he might disappear in a cloud of dust if the wind blow too hard, he was so fragile at the moment. I knew that he would take this news hard, but I didn't know how bad. He kept muttering under his breath, and while most of the time I would think that his quirks are kinda cute, if they were under better circumstances.

But honestly they're really just worrying bordering on disturbing, especially the way he kept saying 'gentle- please be gentle?' then letting out a very soft whine, something that for wolves meant a mix of 'please don't be mad at me' and 'I'm sorry, don't hurt me'.

The worst part about it was that it seemed that CC wasn't even aware that he was speaking, this has been getting worse as well; him not knowing whether or not he's said something or not. Though there's no way to be sure, because it's not really something we can ask him. 

"I'm not gonna hurt you, honey. You're not really breathing, can you take a few deep breaths for me?" As I spoke I wrapped a blanket around his shuddering shoulders, making it stay as another layer in-between us.

"I'm sorry, I'll be good, never speak out of turn, never fight back. Please? If only for the first few times, then, then I'll be used to you." He spoke as if I was going to start screaming at him if he breathed the wrong way, (which he still wasn't doing very well.)

"No honey, that ain't gonna happen, I'm not gonna hurt you Christian. I know you can't understand because of what happened but I'm not lying to you." I murmured to him, right as I felt him go limp as he passed out in my arms. 

CC's P.O.V 

I woke up wrapped in a blanket and curled up on my bed, the evening sun shining through my window. Having a window is such a strange thing, at least for me it is after going almost ten years without seeing the sun. I loved sitting by the window on nights I couldn't sleep, just so I could see the sky. you'd think that the world goes to sleep at night, but it just comes more alive.

_`Do we have to go down stairs? I don't know, maybe not; its almost night...'_

"Its been a long time, should we go check on him?" Jake's voice filtered up from down stairs.

"No, if he's asleep I don't want to wake him." Was Ashley's quiet reply, _so they thought I was still asleep_ , _maybe we should go back to sleep just incase they do come up here._

A little while after I managed to fall asleep, I woke up again to the feeling of every single vein, artery and capillary were about to explode. I whimpered faintly trying to ignore it, like I had been doing for the past several weeks. I knew why it felt like this, though it wasn't comforting. My body was still so used to being constantly drained of blood for one reason or another.

Whether it was because of vampires or because one of the doctors wanted to run more tests. That nearly a year and a half later my body is still on overdrive to produce as much blood as possible, at least thats what it felt like if that's what was actually happening, I'm not sure. I hadn't mentioned it to the guys, I've just never known how. I groaned inwardly as with every heart beat the pain got worse, especially sense I was panicking more with each second that passed by. 

Jake's P.O.V 

I woke up in the middle of the night with a sick feeling in my stomach, not like I was going to throw up, but that something was wrong, very wrong. At first I thought that it was just that CC wasn't with us tonight, but that wasn't it. As my mind awoke more I smelt blood, and a lot of it. It wasn't coming from any of the guys, who were still sleeping peacefully. 

Worried, I got up and walked to the door and after opening it went out into the hall. The bathroom at the end of the hall had its' light on and the door was shut. Realizing that the blood was coming from there I ran to the end of the hallway and tried the door, knowing it was probably locked. My suspicions confirmed about the door, I reached up to the doorframe and got the key, quickly unlocking the door and returning the key to its place. I opened the door and froze in horror. 

CC sat his upper body slumped against the tub arms draped inside, blood trailing quickly down both arms and lining almost all of the tub floor.

"Christian!!" I gasped, grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink and going to him.

"Ashley!!!" I screamed as I began quickly wrapping bandage tightly around his arms.

"Jake?" CC's eyes fluttered open but he didn't seen to understand what was happening as Ashley, Andy and Jinxx ran into the small room. 

"What happened?!" Ash gasped, as Jinxx tried to get CC to respond to him, but he wasn't awake enough to do much more then blink.

"Isn't it pretty self explanatory?" I muttered as I finished wrapping the Pup's second arm and picked him up running down stair to the 'Med room'. Jinxx joined me seconds later and we started getting an IV put in and control the bleeding, Why do we have a med room? Well long story short, on more then one occasion during hunting season, at least one of us has gotten shot so we've gotten pretty good at dealing with large amounts of bleeding and stitching up wounds. 

"It's my fault, if I didn't tell him this never would have happened." Ash whispered as we sat around CC, who was stable but still unconscious.

"You know that's not true Ash." Jinxx murmured back, as he changed out an IV fluid bag. 

_"I should have checked on him."_ I whispered.

"It's not anybody's fault." It was sad that the only time that CC sleeps soundly is when he's unconscious, I nuzzled his hand softly as my ears drooped downwards. The others were still in their human forms, but I had shifted awhile ago and was going back and forth between sitting at his head and resting my forelegs and chest on his lap, knowing that is a way to calm someone down. 

We all fell asleep soon after, I woke up to the alarm on the IV going off that it was going to run out soon, I shifted back and changed out the bags. When I turned around from putting away the trash, CC was looking at me but looked away quickly when our eyes met.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, I nudged the others awake through our bond before replying.

"Why CC?" I asked, sitting down on the chair beside him, "why do you want to die?" I pressed, he just whimpered and looked down at the bandages on both his forearms, to avoid Ashley's gaze.

"Well Christian?" Ash prompted, trying to hide the fear in his voice. 

"I wasn't trying to die." CC barely even breathed, Ash snarled as a warning not to lie to him.

"I wasn't- I just wanted it to stop." The Pup continued.

"That's called dying!" he shrank down and whimpered. 

"I wasn't, I wasn't you don't believe me, I know. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to make you mad." he was crying now, I took his hand in mine rubbing his knuckles softly. 

"We're not mad, we just want to know what happened, Ok?" I murmured, trying to look in his eyes, but he wouldn't meet them.

"It-it hurt, I just wanted it to stop, bleeding makes it stop. I wasn't trying to die, I'm sorry."

"What hurt CC?" Jinxx asked, CC sniffled a little before hesitantly replying.

"The-the pressure, 'hurts all over, bleeding makes it stop." Pressure? What's that supposed to mean? Right as Ash was going to say something, CC's eyes rolled back into his head as he fell back against the bed, unconscious.


	20. The Light Behind Your Eyes.

CC's P.O.V 

When I woke up again I instantly knew that I hadn't been out long, as Jinxx and the others were frantically trying to figure out what happened. Staying still until Jinxx shined a flashlight in my eyes, and squinting slightly at the light.

"I'm alright Jinxx." I whispered slowly sitting up a little bit.

"What do you mean 'alright' you passed out?!" He responded worriedly while checking my pulse.

"I'm used to it, seriously I'm alright." I did a poor job of reassuring him as he shined the stupid flashlight into my eyes again, I let him do a few more tests _not that we are gonna try and stop him,_ and when he was fully satisfied that I was alright, Ashley asked the three of them to leave so he could talk with me alone, _I'm_ _not liking where this is going..._

"Will you tell me the truth now that the others left?" He asked, voice kind and soft but wasn't gonna give me much choice in the matter. 

"It's the truth Alfa, everything I told you is true." Ashley sighed wiping at his tired eyes.

"That's just it though CC, you haven't really told me anything. Nothing that you've said makes any sense, so how am I supposed to believe you if I can't even understand what you're talking about?" He started handing me a tissue, swallowing hard as I wiped my eyes with my left hand as my right had an IV in it, and I wasn't very keen on the way it felt when I moved the appendage.

"Alright, let's start over; walk me through it, why were you trying to kill yourself?" Ash prompted, trying to make eye contact, but I only looked at my lap. 

"At- at the lab, they always took so _much_ blood, I had no choice but to get use to not having enough. Now, they- there's too much, like- like a pressure cooker that's almost gonna explode but can't. It was the only way I could think of that would make the pressure stop, it wasn't supposed to end in death..." _Did we say that right? I don't know, I just hope he's not mad at us..._

"So you weren't trying to kill yourself because of our being Mates?" Ash hesitantly asked, almost seeming scared of my answer, I shook my head as quickly as I dared with still being so dizzy. 

_'What? No, we don't want to die because we're mates...' 'Not death, just scared of being hurt...' 'Just scared...'_ I nodded agreeing with my wolf, who often times had a better handle on situations than I did. 

"CC why didn't you tell one of us that something was wrong? How long has this been going on?" I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, he looked a little paler than normal.

"I didn't know how..." shame made my cheeks flush, "a few weeks, o-only got really bad last night." I couldn't keep my voice steady, no matter how hard I tried.

"I wasn't trying to keep it from you, I know that's how it looks, and I accept my punishment Alfa. I wasn't trying to lie to you, and I'm not trying to get out of punishment now, it's what I deserve. I submit Alfa," I kept my eyes down as I carefully moved my hands together and over to him, as though to allow him to put hand cuffs on. 

"No CC," Ash started, pushing my hands back into my lap being careful of the IV, "I'm not going to punish you, you've been through enough already." He lifted my chin gently so I didn't have a choice other than to look at him, there were tear stains on his cheeks and tears in his eyes.

"We weren't sure you would wake up CC. If Jake hadn't of found you when he did, you wouldn't be here right now." Ashley's voice broke as a tear fell. 

"I'm sorry," I blinked to brake the eye contact.

"Ok, we'll talk about the rest of this later, how're you feeling?" Ash spoke after a few minutes and took my hand in his.

"The pressure's gone but I don't feel very good." I said quietly, enjoying how warm his hand was. 

_'He won't think that we're complaining will he?' 'Oh no! I was just trying to answer the question, is he mad at us?'_

"Calm down Pup, I don't expect you to feel good right now, it's alright." He smoothed his thumb over my knuckles as he spoke, we sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before I yawned suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Why don't you lay down?" Ashley spoke with a smile as he gently pushed me back down against the pillow. 

I turned on my side facing him before glancing down at my hand in his then back up at him.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered glancing at his face.

"Of course, you don't have to ask permission to ask something, CC." Ash murmured with a kind smile.

"Why did the four of you take me in?" Ash raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, "I- I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I am so much so. I just don't understand, I guess..." I added quickly. 

"We were all strays at one point or another too, we know what it's like not to have anyone. You needed someone when we found you, and still need us now. We couldn't leave you, not with each of us knowing what that's like." Ash's voice was soft and him holding my hand felt really nice, it was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open as I nodded sort of understanding. 

"Can I go to sleep now? Everything's all fuzzy..." I struggled to stay awake against the overwhelming draw to sleep and my eye sight blurred.

"Yes Little One, you can go to sleep." He murmured with a chuckle, humming as he pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead, and with that I was out.

Ashley's P.O.V

"Sleep well Pup," I whispered as CC finally let himself fall asleep.

"So what did he say? What happened?" Jinxx's voice broke through my thoughts, halfway through explaining everything to they guys, the Pup turned slightly, pulling my hand into his chest mumbling something before settling down again. 

"If he could tell us where they kept him, I'd kill every last one of them." Jake seethed, after I had finished telling them what happened.

"I know you do and I'd help you." Jinxx replied, Andy and I nodding our heads in agreement.

"So what now Ash?" Andy asked after a few minutes, I looked at the Pup's calm face for a second before looking at my watch and then replying.

"Now? Now, you need to get ready for school." Andy groaned before running off to get ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment any questions, suggestions, or concerns! 
> 
> -Perfect Weapon


	21. This...

CC's P.O.V 

"What do these do?" I asked Jinxx when I woke up and he came back into the room to mess with the various wires and tubes. 

"Those?" He looked at where I was gesturing to the five wires attached to my chest, "they measure your heart beat." I nodded, glancing over at where Ashley was sleeping haphazardly curled up on the edge of the chair he had been sitting in when I fell asleep, (or passed out) still not sure which.

"Alright, how're you feeling?" Jinxx asked after a few more minutes messing with things, I shrugged looking down at the bandages on my forearms a small bit of blood seeping up through the layers.

"Ok, is there still a lot of pressure?" I shook my head slowly, "before, where was it? All over or just in some places?" _Careful..._

"All over," _is he gonna hurt us?_

"Has this happened before CC?" His voice soft enough to not wake Ashley, I nodded keeping my eyes low.

"I know talking about this is hard, but I'm trying to find out how and why this is happening, and if there's something we can do to keep it from getting so bad that you hurt yourself again, ok?" Jinxx murmured running a hand through my hair gently, I nodded still nervous. 

Jinxx moved over to the other side of the room with a few cabinets and a countertop where he was doing something. I wasn't sure what, and it was making me even more nervous. 

After a few minutes Jinxx finished whatever he was doing across the room, as he turned around my blood froze. The bright yellow fluid in the IV bag something I knew all too well. _N_ _o..._ I whined low in my throat as the beeping that measured my heart grew faster. 

_'No, please no...'_ I buried my head in my knees so I wouldn't have to watch and held out my right arm to him. 

"What's wrong CC?" I whimpered tears rolling down my face, I didn't want to see, didn't want to know when the pain would start, "Ashley, something's wrong." Jinxx's voice was worried, almost instantly after he finished speaking Ash's hand was on my shoulder.

"CC are you alright, what's wrong?" He gently forced my head up, I sobbed squeezing my eyes shut.

_'Please...'_

"Look at me," Ashley's strong Alfa voice rang clear, I forced myself to look up breathing in short huffs.

"Tell us what's wrong CC." I whined submissively breaking eye contact, and showing my throat before slowly curling into myself again.

"Why do you think you're in trouble?" He was speaking faster now.

_'We made him mad, we made Alfa mad! What do I do? I-I followed the rules for when- he's still mad! I stayed quiet and gave him my arm, why is he still mad?'_ I whimpered confused when Ash stroked my hair. 

_'I sorry I'm scared, it hurts- it burns! I can still feel it from last time, and it was just threat... Why're they doing this? Alfa said he wouldn't let him poison us, why's he? what'd we do, why's he hate us so much?' _I cried out as Ashley pulled me into his lap carefully.

"Shh, I understand what's wrong now Pup, breathe you're safe."

A gentle hand tucked my face into the crook of his neck, where everything in Ashley's scent was telling me to both calm down and freak out at the same time. 

"I know what you think's gonna happen, and I promise you it's not. I will never do that to you, CC." As he spoke warmth covered me, and I couldn't feel the bed anymore. Or even the needle in my arm/hand for that matter.

"Please... I'm sorry, I know you're mad that I hurt myself, I wasn't trying to die. I couldn't make it stop, I didn't want you to be mad... but I made you more mad, I'm sorry..." crying into his neck I tried to give Jinxx my arm again, but Ash kept what was actually a blanket wrapped tightly around me. 

"Shh we won't ever do that to you, don't worry. Just breathe Pup," soft words spoke as Ashley's calm scent was soon the only thing I could smell, though it was also scaring me. The beeping was calming down a little but made me flinch each time it sounded.

"Do you want us to get Jake?" I just want to get the pain over with, I closed my eyes tighter against the tears. 

"Make Alfa happy..." _we're gonna get hurt,_ I sobbed trying to push away the memories, "make Mate happy." I knew he knew what I meant by how he tensed briefly before holding me closer.

"Shh, I won't hurt you Little One," Ash pulled the blanket tighter around me, "not now, not ever." I know he wasn't lying, I could smell it, but I still couldn't trust him. 

Ash started singing after that, which helped drown out the beeping, even if I still couldn't calm down, it was nice. Panic attacks are exhausting, panic attacks after major blood loss are even more so. With that said I should have expected to pass out, even so crying your eyes out one minute and waking up curled against somebody's chest the next is more than a little disorienting.

"You awake Little One?" Ash smoothed my hair away from my face as I nodded my head against his chest slightly.

"'m sorry, didn't mean sleep on you." I tried to clamber out of his arms and back onto the bed but he held me tighter.

"Easy, you'll pull your stitches, settle down Pup." He hushed and when I calmed, or at least stopped flailing, he set me on the bed, "there we go." He hummed as he walked over to the other side of the room. 

I whined softly still trying to wake up, but remembering that the bag of Wolfsbane was still over there.

"Relax CC, I'm just getting you some water." Ash turned back around, and true to his word with a cup of water in his hand, "drink." The 'command' was gentle as he put the cup in my hand keeping it steady as he lifted it to my lips. 

' _He must think we're pathetic, we can't even take our punishment without crying and begging. Alfa will never love us, how could he? I'm just a worthless lab mutt.'_ Ash had gone back over to the sink, he was still for a second before he dropped the cup with a gasp. 

"Oh Pup," he turned around, I swallowed dryly realizing I spoke out loud, he mumbled something before walking out of the room. _H_ _e's gonna kill us, no he won't, why'd we say that? We insulted Alfa, we didn't mean to- he's gonna kill us! or worse- we're in so much trouble..._

"Jinxx I can't calm down!" A voice hissed on the other side of the door after a while.

"Well try! before he wakes up and hears you," Jinxx said calmer than the first voice, I think is Ashley... 

"He thinks I don't love him! Can't love him..." he paused, I held my breath waiting.

"Well do you?" Jinxx asked.

"Of course I do, I love him, I love him so much it hurts Jinxx."

"Ash, you have to give him time, he's been through a lot."

"I know, I'm trying but-" he cut off with a high pitched sob, "he thinks- he thinks if he does anything even slightly bad, or my mood changes that I'm going to rape him Jinxx!" He hissed, _I don't understand..._ I looked down at the bandages on my forearms, I don't understand, I can't. 

"Well, would you?" Jinxx asked.

"Of course not!! I would never hurt him, could never. I'd die before I'd even touch him without him wanting it!" it sounded like he fell to the ground, I jumped at the sound jerking the needle in my arm painfully. 

"I just wish he wasn't scared of me..." It was quiet after that, I think Jinxx left because I could still hear Ashley's breathing on the other side of the door.


	22. Roles Reversed.

CC's P.O.V 

_I don't understand, I mean I'm scared, but I don't think it's of him... just what he might do. He said he couldn't hurt us, I don't understand. we can't ask him to explain, he'll be mad we were listening, won't he? We weren't trying to... We have to tell him we listened, that I heard him._

There was a soft knock on the door, breaking me away from my rambling thoughts.

"CC can I come in?" Ash whispered as he cracked the door open, I nodded confused why he was asking my permission, but didn't question it. 

"I heard you," I looked down at my hands.

"What?" Ashley sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"I heard you talking with Jinxx." I picked at where blood had dried on the bandages, "I-I heard what you said, I didn't mean to listen; I tried not to, it wasn't mine to hear, I'm sorry." The beeping was getting faster. 

"CC," he quickly took the wires off my skin, "I'm glad you heard Pup." He turned the machine that was now yelling at us off.

"I don't understand." Ash took my hand in his.

"Shh you will," I just nodded, confused as we sat in silence for a few minutes. 

"Can you tell me what happened the other night CC, how everything happened?" Ashley asked after a while, _why's he sound nervous?_

"It was late, -last time it happened, I just reopened a cut I had, from getting caught on something. It bleed for a little while and it stopped and I was fine, the pressure left and I didn't think about it for a while." I started, picking at the bandages again. 

"It was worse this time so I cut both arms, and-and then they wouldn't stop, I couldn't make them stop and I-I didn't want you to be mad. S-so I didn't want to wake you, and I was just hoping they'd stop bleeding sometime." I whispered curling in on myself slightly. 

"So you weren't ever going to tell me?" Ashley's voice was strained.

"I-I-"

"You know that's the same as lying to me right?" I nodded, "so you were just going to lie to me about this, till what? You end up dead on the bathroom floor?" Ash sounded just as scared as he did mad.

"I was gonna tell you..." I whispered.

"When CC? When were you going to tell me?" He snapped, voice cracking.

"When I wasn't gonna get in trouble, may-maybe." Ash stood up and pulled me into his arms before sitting back on the bed me curled up in his arms and against his chest.

"I was so scared we were gonna lose you Pup." he whispered into my hair, "I can't lose you," I whimpered in response curling into him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, gasping when I felt something wet on my neck, it took me a few minutes to figure out that they were tears, Ashley was crying.

"I can't lose you C, I love you so much..." He sobbed crushing me against him. Moving my arm careful of the bandages and IV around to hug him, and straightening enough so he could get to my scent easier. I don't know how it would help, it just felt natural so with my free hand I put it over my mark on his chest. 

"You're not gonna lose me Ashes," I hushed rocking us back and forth awkwardly, Ashley didn't say anything, just kept crying though he was quieter now. _What do we do? Umm, this is a first... What does he do when we're upset? hugs, scent, rocking, tells us it's gonna be ok, we're doing that... right? Maybe we should ask Jinxx? yeah, he'll know what to do!_

"Jinxx? What do I do?" I asked through our bond.

"CC?" Jinxx replied startled, this is the first time I've tried this.

"Ashley's crying and I don't know what to do." I rushed out, petting my marking when Ash whimpered sadly before full on licking my scent gland. 

"Umm, ok I'll be right there." Jinxx answered, after about a minute the door to the room cracked open, picking his head up Ashley snarled threateningly, fangs bared. Jinxx immediately shut the door.

"Ashes, I can't breathe," I forced out touching his shoulder gently, Ashley whined apologetically loosening his grip slightly before going back to licking at my scent gland, which I honestly didn't mind, which is weird because normally I would have flipped that he was even touching my neck. 

"So umm, Ashley's in 'protect my Mate' mode right now, and also finally letting himself freak out about almost loosing you. Just let him cry it out, see if you can get him to fall asleep, that should help." Jinxx said sounding nervous, I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"CC on the pump that's on the IV stand how much time is left?" I looked over at it trying to find the time display. 

"Umm, a minute thirty seconds, I think." I replied the bag looked empty, which was making me nervous.

"Ok, you've got about thirty seconds to convince Ash to let me in, so I can turn it off before the alarm goes off." Jinxx cracked the door again making Ash snarl.

"It's ok Ash," I whispered not at all convincingly, he snarled more crushing me to his chest.

"'Hurts Ash," I whimpered, that made him forget about Jinxx for a second as he let go and straightened us up and looked me in the eyes. 

"Mate hurt? Where's hurt? Need to fix hurts." Ash started looking me over snarling at the bandages on my arms, just as the big alarm went off, Jinxx quickly walked over and hit some buttons making it stop. Ash growled at him.

"Ash stop it, he won't hurt me." I started, "you won't hurt me right?" I whispered, scared as Jinxx started to get some stuff out of the cabinet. 

"No, I won't hurt you CC, I'm just changing out the IV bags," He replied, quickly starting to change them.

"Jinxx you have forty-five seconds before I lose it about you being so close right now," Ash hissed curling around me protectively.

"Yes Alfa," Jinxx replied.

"CC I need to make sure the IV is still in your arm properly, give me your arm please." I whimpered giving it to him, which just made Ash growl more.

"Jeremy, get out."

"Yup looks good, I'll be back right before that one runs out." he said before leaving the room and shutting the door. Ash snarled again before taking my face in his hands, his eyes calming instantly. 

"You ok?" Nodding I put my hand over his breathing in his scent and feeling like I just took the first deep breath I had in a long time.

"Good." Ash murmured tears still running down his face, I curled back into his chest returning to my strange half hug from earlier.

"Don't cry? I'm not gonna leave Ashes," I laid down on my side, pulling him down next to me, his arms around me and Ash's face hidden in my neck. It's odd I'm kind of nervous but not at all like a few days ago, I don't know why, but this felt safe, the two of us. _Maybe we can do this after all._

I traced my marking and hummed until Ash's sobs turned to cries and those turned to sniffles before his breathing evened out as he fell asleep.

"You're not gonna loose me Ashes." I whispered as I fell asleep, feeling safe for what felt like the first time in a long time. 


	23. The Taste of Poison.

CC's P.O.V 

"Do we need to go over it again C?" Ashley asked tilting my head up to meet his eyes, nodding I broke eye contact with him, finding the bandages on my arms much more interesting.

"Ok," he stilled my hands before I started causing damage from picking at my skin, "the fluid is so bright because of the vitamins Jinxx adds to it, not because it's poison, alright?" I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I couldn't. 

"Can Jinxx start CC?" His voice was as soft and gentle as always.

"No," shaking my head I curled my right arm into myself, trying to hide the IV, "I can't do it."

"Why not Pup?"

"it's all pain, if I let you, it's pain and if I don't it's pain. I can't do it, I wanna make you happy but I can't. Has it ever happened to you?" He shook his head, I pushed some memories to our bond, in an effort to show him that I wasn't just being stubborn for the sake of it, and even though it showed weakness I wanted him to know why I was scared.

Ash blinked away tears, and hugged me.

"I'd never do that to you Pup, you know that right?"

"I wanna believe you, but I can't, _that's_ why I can't." I gave him another memory, one where he was telling lies about it, trying to convince me it wasn't actually wolfsbane, I was still young and stupid enough to trust him, it ended up being one of the worse bouts of poisoning I've had. 

"Shh, don't cry, it's alright." I flinched away from his touch, "outside of this, right now, do you trust me?" He asked gently wiping the tears away.

"No, no, Ash please? I know where you're going with this, please?" I sobbed wishing I could get up and leave the room, but aside from being tethered from the IV, if I stood up right now, I'd pass out. 

"Shh CC," he hushed, pulling me into a hug again, I curled into him, "shh, trust me, ok?" Umm no? The last time I trusted someone when I had a needle in my arm, he broke it (my arm,) and made it so it felt like I was on fire for three days.

"Please don't make me do this?" I begged, "I'm not ready," I whispered even though I gave him my hand.

"Shh, we won't start till you say we can," he took my hand kissing the knuckles lightly, I just sobbed mad at myself for crying.

"Jinxx draw a little out I've got an idea." He hummed stroking my hair, as I tried to calm down. 

"Look up CC, we're gonna show you something, ok?" Ash said pulling back from the hug thing we were in, I looked up, whining low in my throat when I saw Jinxx standing in front of me and Ash with a syringe half full of the bright yellow liquid.

"We're gonna show you that it's not what you think it is ok?" Ash held his hand out towards Jinxx, "if it were poison, my skin would burn right?" he asked and I nodded hesitantly. 

Jinxx dropped about a third of it into Ashley's open palm, and it just sat there. No burning or Reddening blisters or sores opened.

"B-but it looks so-" I cut off, staring at his palm in something like shock.

"Not everything is what it looks like at first glance Pup." Jinxx murmured handing Ash a towel, I took Ash's now dry hand by the wrist and held it up to the burn scars on my upper right arm, comparing the two. _It really isn't wolfsbane..._

(A/N So for these guys, if you are exposed to only a small amount of wolfsbane for a short time, your skin/body can heal without scaring. But if there's prolonged exposer one can get serous scaring, one would also need to take into account the concentration of the wolfsbane.) 

"Do you want to try it C?" Ashley asked, I whimpered quickly letting go of his wrist just now realizing I grabbed it without asking.

"Promise it's not?" I whispered.

"I promise, didn't you see Pup?" I nodded embarrassed, and held out my hand just like Ash did, Jinxx dropped even less onto my hand than with Ash, and they were right it wasn't what I thought it was. _B_ _ut I still don't think I can do this..._

"Are you ready?" Taking a shaky breath, I nodded before wiping my palm on the towel and holding out my hand to Jinxx, before hiding my face in Ash's chest. "It's alright Little One," Ashley cupped the base of my skull, softly running his thumb over my scent gland.

"Breathe, it won't hurt." I took a shaky breath squeezing my eyes shut, trying to focus on his heart beat and not the sounds of what Jinxx was doing.

"Promise?" I looked up at Ash catching a glimpse of the IV line, part of it was yellow while the other part was still clear, I whined and buried my face back in his chest trying not to tense up.

"I promise Love, if anything, it'll be a different temperature and you might get a little cold, but that's it." Ash hushed, pulling my blanket up further around my shoulder, I couldn't help it, I looked at it again as the yellow hit the needle. 

"NO! Stop it, Please- I can't-" Screaming I tried to rip it out.

"Shh, shh, you're ok, you're ok. Breathe, Pup." Ashley held my hands in his as I screamed sobbing and trying to rip out the IV, claw at the bandages anything I could reach. 

"Shh CC, breathe you're ok." He looked me in the eyes, I fell against his chest sobbing and feeling like I couldn't breathe. "Shh, you're gonna be fine, I've got you, I've got you." I sobbed pressing my face into the side of his neck, finding his scent glad, hoping that it would help. I nuzzled at it crying as Ash's scent came out warm and soft and safe.

The next morning? I'm not sure the next time I woke up again, Jinxx let me leave the med room, which meant I didn't have to stay hooked up to all the machines but I had to keep the IV in. And I got to change back into a long sleeve shirt, so that made me feel a lot better. 

"CC, can I ask you something?" Jake started closing his book, I closed my own, silently dreading what the question was. 

"I guess, yeah." I replied, nervously reopening and closing the front cover of the book.

"Why don't you hug first? Even when you clearly want to, you don't." _Nope, not answering that, no way!_ Trying to control my quickening breath, I just shrugged. 

"I'm not really comfortable talking about this Jake." I muttered after he raised an eyebrow at me.

"I know you're not, which is one of the reasons why I think we need to." Jake murmured placing his hand on top of mine.

"Why's it matter anyway?" I pulled my hand away pulling my sleeves over my hands.

"Because it's something you're doing out of fear right?"

I didn't like how kind he always sounded, it made me feel really stupid for being scared. Then again when I was little they would fake being nice and then be really mean, so I guess it's not a totally unfounded fear.

"I'll take that as a yes," he mused after I didn't say anything for a while.

_'I don't wanna talk about this C.'_ I brushed my bangs back trying to avoid his gaze.

"I know you don't want to CC, but I can't let things get as bad as they did last time." His words had me covering the scars on my forearms, even though I had long sleeves on.

"It's not like that." I hated that I scared them so much it wasn't on purpose of course, but I still felt guilty about it. 

"Then what is it like?" Somehow I had gotten pulled up against his side, and because it's how my mind works, thanks to a bunch of crazy human scientists, I could now curl up getting closer to him.

"You clearly don't mind touch, at least sometimes, I'm only asking because I want to understand Pup." His hand combing through my hair, _You and me both._

"I don't know, I mean I do but..." I trailed off as my thoughts started looking for the right memory.

"Take your time Pup, it's alright." I leaned into his hand as it continued running through my hair, as I tried to breathe through the panic that was crushing my lungs.

"It's 'against the rules," I finally managed, _cause that makes sense, good enough for me lets go hide. But Jakes' warm..._ I took a few breaths trying to keep myself together, which wasn't working very well.

"It's alright Pup, breathe." I shivered as I was too cold and too hot at the same time. 

"I had only been there a few weeks, maybe a month. When one morning a new man came into my room, seemed kinda nice, friendly almost." I started, trying to keep my emotions separate from the memories, "I was 6 maybe 7, 'still trusted people, I ran up to him hugging his leg." My words were becoming more mumbled and unintelligible. 

"He threw me against the wall holding me by the throat, threatening to break every bone in my body if I ever tried that again. Before he left he dislocated my shoulder, 'to prove a point'." I flinched at the phantom pains the memory brought with it. 

"Oh Pup..." Jake murmured pulling me onto his lap, I whimpered shrinking away at the anger coming from his scent.

"Please don't be mad," I whispered breath caught in my throat, "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to make you mad." I gasped when he held me closer.

"I'm not mad at you Pup, calm down; it's alright." His voice was soft, but I couldn't separate it from the flashbacks. 

"Please don't be mad, you...you said if I told you the truth, you wouldn't be mad. Please...I'm sorry." I whispered as tears filled my eyes.

"Shh, I'm not mad at you CC. It's alright now you're safe. I'm sorry I scared you Honey," flinching away from the memories, I tried to cling to reality which was quickly fading.

"But I was-" shrieking I wrapped an arm around my ribs and curled up more.

' _Jake!' Why are you calling for him? He'll just hurt us too..._

"Its alright Pup, you're safe, I've got ya... just breathe." was the last thing I heard before everything blurred together, and I knew three things, warm, heavy and soft.


	24. First Full Moon.

CC’s P.O.V 

Five days. For five days, Jinxx kept me in bed or at the most on the couch, but today he finally took out the IV so yay! The stitches can’t come out for a few more days, but I don’t have to keep them wrapped all the time now, and Jinxx says it should be safe for me to shift without tearing them. And I’m not on bed rest as long as I don’t over do it.

So apparently full moons are a big deal? I don’t understand why, but then again I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed a full moon. Anyway the guys are really hyped up for it, I’m just confused. 

“Come on C, how can you not be excited for tonight?” Andy asked, as we were putting our boots on so we could collect a bunch of fire wood, cause bonfires on full moon nights are a thing, whatever those are… 

I just shrugged.

“They weren’t ever something I looked forward too, I guess. It was either hiding from my family or _them_ , and shifting hurts to much.” Not to say I don’t shift, I do but I’m not very good at it. I certainly can’t do it with the fluidity that the guys show. 

“Well then, get ready for the best full moon of your life Pup! And if it hurts, you’re not doing it right.” Andy said slinging his arm around my shoulders as we walked, I shrugged in response pulling my hair out from under his arm. 

“So how does this work again?” I ask for what felt like the twentieth time by now as I handed Jake another stick, as we were building a huge pile of logs with some sticks and underbrush thrown in. 

“At about sun set, we’ll light the fire, and make dinner. Ash and Jinxx are making that while we get the fire ready. Then we shift with the moon and do whatever really until we go to sleep and wake up in the morning in human form, usually.” Jake repeated what he’s told me every other time I’d asked, still as patient as the first time. 

“What’s shifting with the moon supposed to be like?” I asked hesitantly.

“Do you not remember?” I just shook my head, I remember some but not a lot, and what I did, I didn’t want to. 

“I-its like, being completely free, not held back by anything. At the same time, safe, like nothing bad could happen. You know how you feel when one of us holds you after a nightmare and you’ve calmed down enough to know you’re safe, but still buzzing with energy, that feeling? It’s like that, comforting, free, safe.” Jake rambled, _umm what? That clears so much up, glad I asked._

“Dude, could you have given a creeper explanation?” Andy asked walking up, dragging what looked like an entire tree.

“Well how would you explain it then?” Jake fired back.

“I uhh, yeah ok, like that.” Andy relented, as the two of them threw the tree onto the pile. 

“Uhh, thanks...” I threw a log on the pile.

“It’ll make more sense tonight Pup,” Jake checked his watch, “four more hours till moons’ up.” Jake barely had all the words out before Andy full on little girl squealed. I can’t be the only one that thinks it’s a little weird when Andy full on squeals, right? 

“Ready to light this thing?!” Jinxx crowed as he and Ash walked over to us.

“Yes let’s go already!” Andy yelled throwing another tree like log onto the pile.

“How much longer Jake?” Andy asked again, rocking back on his heals and staring into the fire light.

“Anytime now, patience pup.” Jake replied as we all sat around the fire, ok I say sat around we were sprawled out, sitting next to and on top of each other. I pulled my sleeves over my hands and bit my lip nervously, I’m not sure how to feel about the full moon, and the last time I had shifted around the guys it didn’t turn out to well. 

“Stop chewing on your lip before you chew a hole in it.” Ashley chided softly, taking it out from between my teeth with his thumb before turning my face to look at him, his hand on my chin. “It’s gonna be alright Little One.” He hushed as Jinxx shifted then Andy and Jake.

“I can’t do this Ash,” I whimpered starting to feel the pull to shift, I fought against it scared.

“Shh yes you can, just relax and breathe your body knows what to do.” He hushed, I shook my head crying out as the pull to shift got stronger, “alright we’ll do it together, ok? Breathe,” he took my hand in his I cried out nodding a little, “3, 2, 1, shift.” 

I took a deep breath and then all of a sudden my hearing got clearer my eyesight sharper and all I could smell and wanted to smell was my Mate. I shook out my fur happy that I managed to fully shift this time instead of just partly. 

_“See? You got this,”_ his reddish? Black wolf smiled at me, I nodded my head sheepishly, suddenly wanting things that in human form I couldn’t even imagine doing, I’m not sure if it was my wolf wanting it or the moon. I wasn’t sure and I didn’t really care, but I wasn’t sure that I could act on them, not now not like this. 

_“You’ve got such pretty fur CC,”_ Ash purred rubbing his head against mine, if wolves can blush then I blushed hard.

“Thanks, I like yours better though.” I replied rubbing my neck against his, I glanced over to Jinxx and Andy where they were doing the same thing before greeting Jake though in a slightly different way, while it still showed how close they were it was definitely different. 

_“Go say hi if you’d like Pup,”_ Ash nudged me with his nose, I hesitated not sure how this whole thing works.

_“Or wait, they’ll be over here in a second.”_ As he said that the three of them trotted over looking ecstatic. 

The five of us continued greeting each other for a while, before we went on a run in the woods. I hadn’t ever been to some of the places we went, but I wasn’t thinking about that. I was caught up with how I kept rubbing against Ash and he against me and I liked it, how I kept hoping the path we were walking would narrow so we’d touch. I think it’s definitely the full moon talking because I’ve been on a run kind of like this before and it didn’t feel like this...

As the moon was about half way down we headed back to the bonfire messing around play fighting and what not before we settled down in a proper doggy pile. Before I fell asleep I turned to Ash and licked right across his face panting happily before curling up closer to him, Ash rumbled happily in his chest licking across my face in return. 

“You’re ok CC, breathe...” _What?_ It’s really warm, but not as soft as normal... I peeled my eyes open, seeing caramel skin something at this point I was pretty used to seeing as I woke up, _why is he telling me to calm down?_ I closed my eyes and buried my head back into Ashley’s shoulder sighing comfortably. Only then did I feel arms around me touching bare skin.

_Why’d I take my shirt off? I never sleep without one._

“It was the full moon last night Pup, when we shift back in our sleep clothes don’t always come back with us, you’re safe.” A hand pet my hair as Ash whispered, I nodded curling up a bit more as I woke up and figured out that we were both naked. 

“You still tired?” I leaned into the pets more nodding a little, I don’t remember what happened last night but from the warm bubbly feeling I had, nothing bad happened, that alone was enough for me to be only slightly uncomfortable with the clothes situation.

“You can go back to sleep if you’d like, the others won’t wake up for a while.” I hummed finding myself wrapping my arms around his torso instead of having them curled up against his chest, bringing our chests together. I was still careful to keep our waists separate, but leaving my legs where they were tangled with his.

“You’re comfy,” I mumbled into his neck nuzzling at his scent.

“Thanks, Love.” He chuckled, I made him laugh! Yay! I don’t know how long this mood will last but I’m glad it’s here, cause then maybe it’ll come back and maybe one day I’ll have more good days then bad ones.

“We actually fell asleep on the bed we made, that doesn’t happen very often.” He mused, I whimpered a little as I think it was Jake rolled around behind me.

“If you shift sometimes you can will clothes back with you,” Ash must have heard me.

“That didn’t work out so well last time I tried it...” I looked up at him.

“You did fine, just need practice before it feels comfortable.” His hand in my hair moved to the side of my face.

“I could only bring back a sock Ash... and it wasn’t even on my foot, it was just on the ground. How does that even happen?” I huffed, _why’s he always so warm? I don’t know, I like it though. Well duh, it's great since we’re always cold._

“I was only suggesting it, but if you don't want to I can if you want shorts or a shirt, ok?” He’s so gentle and caring.

“No, I think I wanna try.” I brought my arms back closer to me to make it easier, “thank you Ashes.” I looked up at his eyes, kind and gentle as always. 

“What for Love?” Ash asked softly as one of the others stirred.

“Everything, thank you for everything. I feel so safe with you right now, and just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, while I can say it.” I think the moon is still affecting me, but I’m cool with it because I meant every last word, and so much more. 

“That means a lot CC, thank you for telling me.” Ash’s eyes started to water a little, I put my hand on his chest over my marking there were pieces of his starting to show with it.

“I want this one day, I don’t know when I’ll be able to do it, but I know you won’t hurt me.” I curled back into his chest, taking a deep breath before falling back asleep, warm and safe.


	25. Unravel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the warnings for this chapter!
> 
> -Perfect Weapon

Ashley’s P.O.V 

To say that CC was having a hard week was definitely an understatement. Currently he was upstairs trying to take a nap, well more like none of us could convince him to get out of bed this morning, and since he didn’t sleep last night we’re not gonna push him. 

“It’s been over two hours should we check on him?” Jake looked up from his notebook, “yeah, I’ll go check on him.” I replied setting my notebook on the coffee table and walking up stairs. 

As soon as I got to his door, I knew the Pup wasn’t sleeping. He sounded on the verge of hyperventilating and was mumbling to himself every now and then. 

“CC? Are you alright?” I asked, hopefully soft enough that I don’t scare him.

“I- I can’t sleep.” He was definitely nervous about talking to me, _poor Pup_.

“That’s ok CC,” I slid to the ground next to the door as I spoke. 

“Do you want to come out then?” I spoke after a few minutes of listening to his nervous breathing. 

CC’s breath caught slightly, and I could almost see him shaking his head on the other side of the door, curled up under the blankets.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” I asked looking up at the ceiling with hope that he didn’t it the wrong way. Unfortunately he did and the small sound he made was like a punch to the gut. 

“I didn’t mean it like that Pup, I meant do you want me to stay with you out here. I won’t go in your room, not unless you want me there, and only if _you want it.”_ I murmured loud enough that he could hear me over his small cries. 

“No, I-I want you in here, maybe I-if it’s no trouble...” The bed creaked as if he were sitting up.

“It’s no trouble at all Pup, if it’ll help you sleep or calm down. Then of course I don’t mind, CC.” I moved away from the wall and turned to face the door.

“Is it ok if I open your door CC?” He made a soft sound in conformation so I slowly opened the door being careful not to cross the threshold. 

“Hey little one,” I smiled gently at him, wrapped up in a blanket and curled up on his side facing the door, there were tear stains on his cheeks and he looked on the verge of tears again. 

“Hi,” he whispered rubbing at his eyes with a fist full of blankets.

“You ok little one?” He mumbled something into his fist before making a high pitched whine.

“You alright CC?” He was quiet for a moment before he whimpered making the grabby hands gesture towards me. 

“You sure you want me that close to you C?” I hesitated, he just repeated the sound and gesture more desperately than before.

“Ok, alright Little One I’m coming.” I hushed, standing up and slowly walking towards him, giving CC plenty of time say ‘get out’ but he didn’t and made the gesture again. 

“Shh, I’m right here, it’s ok Honey.” I sat down on the floor next to the edge of the bed and where he was laying. CC sobbed grabbing at me again, I took his hand in mine gently, gauging his reaction carefully. 

I smoothed his hair down after a few minutes of him not reacting badly to me holding his hand. CC leaned into the touch, relaxing a little.

“Do you want to talk about it C?” I asked gently stroking his hair, he whimpered quietly.

“You’ll hate me.” 

“I could never hate you Pup,” I hushed as he started crying more.

“You will, it’s all my fault, I deserve it.”

“Shh, don’t say that CC, nothing that happened there is your fault, you didn’t deserve any of it, Little One.” He just sobbed clinging to me and burying his face in my neck.

“Shh, it’s alright, calm down honey it’s ok.” I rubbed his back as he sobbed into my neck, it took a while but he finally calmed enough that he wasn’t crying so hard.

At this point we had moved so he was sitting in my lap chest to chest while I was sitting on the bed back leaned against the headboard, it worried me for a minute but after seeing that CC didn’t have a problem with it and was almost calmer now, so I settled down and continued to comfort my Mate.

“This seems to me like one of those times where you want to tell me, almost need to tell me, but can’t. Is that close C?” I mused rocking slightly, I got a nod and a sniffle in response.

“So would this be easier to tell me in a dream?” I risked the question, knowing this could go either way, good or really bad.

“You’ll hate me, he wants to tell you, cause maybe that’ll make it better but but if I tell you…” CC whispered into my neck as he played with a lock of my hair, _it seems as though his wolf trusts us a little more than he does, or is at least more willing to risk telling us something..._

“I’m not going to hate you CC, I know this is incredibly hard for you. But if you; either of you, think it might help to tell me, all I want to do is to help you. I don’t like seeing you in so much pain Love,” I started, hoping I wasn’t pressing him to hard, but enough that we could get this out in the open so he could make the first steps to moving past it. I’m not entirely sure what this was about but I had a pretty good guess at this point. 

“Maybe if you brought me into the dream with you, it might be a little easier than telling me vocally?” Slowly he nodded.

“But what if you don’t like what you see?” And we were off into another fit of hysterical sobbing.

“Shh, I promise I’m not going to hurt you, nothing you could show me will change anything between us, I promise. Because I won’t let whatever they did to you change how I see you, or how I feel about you. None of what happened is your fault, none of it.” I’m not sure how much he understood of that at this point, but it still needed to be said. After another long while, he calmed back down. 

“Ok,” he nodded, “I’ll bring you in.” It was barely a whisper but had such determination in it, I couldn’t help but smile pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“Do you remember how to control it?” I asked after a few minutes, he nodded.

“I have to want to show it to you and we both have to be asleep, I think. It didn’t make a lot of sense when Jinxx explained it…” he hesitated, “I, I want to do it in here, I mean if it’s ok, we don’t have to if that’s weird, it’s weird n-never mind-“

“CC, calm down, if you feel safer in your room then that’s where we’ll do it, ok?” I cut him off gently, he nodded closing his eyes and taking a breath. 

“Ok, then come here Pup,” I murmured sliding down so we were laying down, I grabbed a blanket and covered the two of us with it, as he shifted getting comfortable, with his head on my chest and the rest of his body curled into my side. I wrapped one arm around his shoulders and the other I let stroke his hair. 

“Promise you won’t hate me after this?” He whispered a tear of exhaustion falling down his face.

“I promise Little One, I could never hate you.” I soothed wiping the tear away, with that he closed his eyes body finally relaxing as he fell asleep, with a kiss to his head I closed my eyes and followed him into the world of the terrifying dream vampires. 

CC’s P.O.V 

He wrenched his fangs from my neck, and just as he moved away, another took his place. There was another at my elbow, and one at my ankle; his hands quickly making their way up my leg, closing my eyes I begged that I would die or pass out as ‘in charge’ took my wrists from the chains that held me to the wall. What happens next is a blur, _which I’m glad of;_ I can’t fully remember it, until I wake up, and even then it’s still a blur, nothing but pain and shame.

Ashley’s P.O.V

CC and I stood in a small room with a glass wall that was also a two way mirror. On the other side of the glass was a larger room dimly lit with blood stains littering the floor and walls, slumped against the farthest wall from where we were, was CC; hands shackled together and chained to the wall above his head. 

Why was CC in two places at once? Well this was an ‘outside looking in’ dream, as he called it. We can’t interact with anyone in the dream. We can’t change what happens and we also can’t be seen or heard by the people in it. 

“Last chance to wake me up, Ashley.” CC said, nervously pacing the small room, he had been having this dream for the past week and a half, barely able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time, needless to say, I was worried.

“We talked about this, no matter how bad it gets I’m not going to hurt you because of them. None of this is your fault.” I murmured as the door to the larger room opened. And even though he was having a nightmare, this is probably the only chance he’ll get to sleep tonight, so I’m trying to make it last. 

“Please Ash?” He whispered, in walked three men, the tallest walking ahead of the others, pulled CC up by the wrists before biting into his neck quickly. The cry he let out made my heart break. 

The other two joined soon after, one at the Pup’s elbow and the other sunk his fangs into his ankle, the cries soon turned into muffled screams. Even though it was dark, it was clear that the vampires were quite ‘hands on’.

“How ‘bout we take him off this wall?” The one at CC’s ankle smirked, the first one looked up from his neck, hastily undoing the shackles before throwing him into the opposite wall that the mirror was a part of.

CC whimpered rubbing his shoulder and throwing a nervous glance at me, I pulled him into a hug carefully.

“You’re safe now, I’ve got you; you’re safe.”

CC sat up against the wall tears running down his cheeks, as the vampires stocked closer.

“Don’t- please don’t?” Was the begged whisper that was ignored as the first one hauled him up spinning him face first into the wall.

They sunk their fangs back into they’re preferred spots, hands roaming as they ignored CC pleading with them to stop. The vampire at his ankle let go and moved to the spot on the inside of his thigh, right above the knee. Easily pushing the lose cut off jean shorts out of the way. They were more torn than anything and covered in blood and other stains. 

From that broken howl of agony alone as the man bit into him again, I wanted to kill every last one of them.

“Please,” something about the plea was different, not so much to stop feeding, or what was to come. But to end it, end it all. 

As they had their way with him, he made weak attempts to get away, but he didn’t have the strength to fight them off. They knew it too, hitting him when he cried out in pain or fear. Even if it was just a pained gasp, they made it so much worse. 

I held the boy in my arms tighter to my chest, trying to shield him from what was happening. I couldn’t look away no matter how much I wanted too, it was so horrible. I couldn’t even imagine the pain he was in, and had been in for so long. 

The time we were standing there was soon lost to me, when suddenly we were ripped from that awful dream as CC woke up.

CC’s P.O.V 

I sobbed waking up and pulling away from Ashley’s chest, which I had been laying against, thinking he wouldn’t want me touching him.

“Hey shh, you’re safe now it’s over, it’s over.” Ash murmured wrapping a blanket around me, I flinched away from him gasping for air. 

“Please don’t hate me,” I sobbed again, pain shooting through me at the fragmented memories.

“Shh, Pup it’s alright now, you’re safe. I could never hate you,” my Mate murmured keeping his distance and not touching my skin. 

“I tried Ash, I tried to stop them. They wouldn’t stop- they never stopped, I’m sorry; I’m so so sorry.” I wanted to curl into him and let him hold me, but I was too scared. 

“It’s not your fault, I know you did, you don’t have to be sorry, it’s not your fault.” He soothed, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want it, I wasn’t strong enough to stop them, I tried, I always tried, they just-“ I cut off whimpering slightly when Jake wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest.

“Shh Pup, Ash isn’t mad, it’s alright. Just breathe ok?” I just shook my head.

“I couldn’t stop them, I couldn’t stop-“ the tears kept coming more violently then before, as the realness of what happened stomped out any last hope of it all being one big nightmare. 

“I know, I know Pup, let it out, you’re safe it’s ok to cry about it, it’s ok to feel CC…it’s ok.” Jake murmured holding me closer.

“I didn’t want it, I just wanted it to stop, but they wouldn’t, they never did.” I tried not to scream at the memories, but I couldn’t help it, all Jake did was hold me closer. 

“It’s alright, you’re safe now, you’re safe.” Jake hushed, smoothing my hair down.

“I didn’t want it Ash, I promise I didn’t want it. I’m sorry… I couldn’t stop them, I tried…” I knew he was close to me, but that he wasn’t going to hold me unless I told him that I wanted him to. 

“I saw Pup, I know they didn’t stop, you don’t have to explain, I understand. I know Pup, I’ll always love you, what happened won’t change that.” I don’t know how Ash understands me sometimes, cause sometimes I don’t even know what I’m saying. 

“Shh, it’s alright now...” Jake loosened his arms around me, “it’s over, you’re safe.” I heaved a deep shuddering breath trying to calm down, the first of many failed attempts, “go to Ash now Pup.” Jake hummed helping me sit up from where I was curled up in his lap. 

“Ash?” I choked on a sob pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders, Ashley hummed carefully picking me up and situating me on his lap. 

“It’s alright, I’ve got you.” He soothed, gently cupping the back of my head and holding me close to his chest. Managing a shaky semi-deep breath I nuzzled into his neck, as Jake slowly got up and left the room. 

“I’m sorry…” I cried into his neck as another wave of emotions crashed over me.

“It’s not your fault CC,” Ashley breathed into my hair nuzzling at my untamable locks, sobbing at another glimpse of what happened, I tried to pull the blanket up further but failed.

“Shh, you’re ok, you’re safe…breathe Honey.” Ash murmured pulling a quilt over both of us, before shifting into his wolf form and curling up around me. 

After recovering from my little freak out from everything changing so suddenly, during which I may have shrieked… just a little bit. I curled up, further tucking myself into the now wolven chest of my Mate, weaving my fingers into his soft fur.

" _It’s interesting that you’re a lot more comfortable with this form."_ Ash spoke using different sounds and tones for different words, I shrugged slowly starting to feel myself relax. It made sense though, aside from when we first met when Jake chased me through the woods; I’ve only ever been around them in wolf form, and none of them have been bad experiences. 

“No wolves have ever hurt me,” I finally answered, scrunching my face when he licked me, trying to wash away the tears. We were quiet for a little while, save for Ash’s version of a purr as he continued to lick my face clean. 

“Are you mad that I couldn’t stop them?” I asked shame making my ears flush.

" _A_ _t you?"_ Ash tilted his head to the side, ears going up in interest, I whined apologetically letting go of his fur.

 _"Never_ _will I be mad at you for what they did, understand?"_ His eyes held such kindness as he spoke.

“No,” I looked down shaking my head, “I don’t.”

 _"Because I love you..."_ my last thread broke at that as I flung the quilt off and stood up, clambering off the bed.

" _What’s wrong CC?"_ Ash sat up staying in wolf form.

“How can you love me!?” I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, revealing all of the scars and bite marks. My breath hitched as I pulled off my long sleeve shirt, reveling my left arm that was a mess of burn scars along with my torso and wrists.

 _"CC, what are you doing?"_ I closed my eyes and focused on the task of baring myself, both physically and mentally to him. 

“How can you love me???” I screamed spreading my arms wide, showing all the scars from IVs that they’d ripped out making me look like a druggy. “I’m nothing but a useless fuck toy!” Tears were streaming down my face again, Ash snarled in warning. 

“So, how? How can you love me?” I cried falling to my knees amidst the clothes that lay scattered on the ground, hugging myself I hung my head as I cried, suddenly aware that 1; I just yelled at my Alfa and Mate, and 2; I just yelled at him naked as the day I was born.

A warm hand touched my shoulder gently.

“How?!” I sobbed practically flinging myself into his arms.

“Shh Pup, settle down a bit, then we’ll talk alright?” Ash smoothed a hand through my hair taking out the ponytail, before holding me tightly to his chest. I nodded a little, gasping for a deep breath. 

“Ok,” Ash hummed brushing a kiss to my hair, “why did you say that about yourself Pup?” I shook my head, not wanting to answer.

“You’ll be mad,” I curled into myself more, “I don’t wanna make you mad.” _Just tell him, maybe he won’t be_ _mad... but what if he is?_

“I’m not going to be mad at you CC.” His hand rubbing in a circular motion on my back.

“It, it, they always said it… but if I was so useless then why did they keep hurting me?” I whimpered before screaming into Ashley’s chest. 

“Let it out CC, scream if you wanna: shout if you need to.” He nuzzled my hair as he spoke, “you want to know how I love you? Your personality, you love life, even if you’re nervous about some things, everyone is sometimes. Yes, you have a lot of scars, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not absolutely stunning.” 

Ashley’s P.O.V 

To say that I was a little shocked to be holding my NAKED and sobbing Mate in my arms would definitely be the understatement of the year. While I had seen some of his scars before, I had never really looked at them.

“What they said isn’t true, you know that right?” I asked softly as I leaned back against the bed, grabbing a blanket which I threw over part of my legs and pulled it up to cover his lower back and legs. CC whimpered shaking his head and sniffling.

“It’s not true CC, what they said isn’t true.” I said firmly but gently, “you are not nothing, you’re everything.” I pressed a kiss to his hair, making sure my scent was strictly comforting and not letting my anger at the monsters who hurt him seep into it. 

“Please don’t hate me,” CC’s voice cracked as he curled further into himself.

“Do you mean something else when you ask me not to hate you CC?” _Please tell me he doesn’t mean what I think he means…_ I gently pulled the blanket up further so he could hide in it more. 

“Please don’t,” he started, but didn’t say anything else for a few minutes, just continued to cry into his hands.

“Christian, I will never hurt you. I will never do what they did to you, I promise.” I pressed a kiss to his hair. 

“I-I’ll leave, and you can find a better Soul Mate, one that’s not worthless, someone you can actually love. Please don’t hate me,” he sounded so scared.

“NO! Please don’t say that.” I took his face in my hands pressing our foreheads together, “Please don’t go? I don’t want anyone else CC, if you’ll have me, I only want you. I could only love you… and I could never hate you.” I whispered, wiping away his tears. 

“I didn’t want you to know what they did,” his voice almost inaudible and he smelt so ashamed.

“Why not Pup?”

“I-I ‘cause you’ll do it too!”

“What?” _Please let me have heard that wrong._

He just sobbed harder, slumping against my chest almost unknowingly. _Didn’t hear that wrong… let it go for now, he’s not ready to tell us._

“CC, I will NEVER _hate_ you, I couldn’t. I know you don’t understand yet, but not everyone is like the people who took you. One day you’ll understand, and only after that and it’s what you truly want, will we talk about having sex. I promise you right here, right now, that will never change.” I pulled his blanket tighter around him as he shivered. 

“Please don’t be mad, I-I tried I always tried but I couldn’t- I couldn’t stop them, please don’t be mad at me?” 

“I’m not mad at you for what they did CC. It’s horrible what they did and I wish you didn’t have to go through that, I’m not blaming you, it’s not your fault, none of it is.” I whispered looking him in the eyes carefully. 

“It’s my fault, and you’re mad, if you tell me to leave I’ll go and you’ll never see me again. It’s all my fault, why didn’t they just kill me? I don’t wanna live anymore, I can’t-“ He sobbed crawling out of my arms.

“CC please don’t say that, please…” I whispered catching his hand in mine, “please, I I’ll go just don’t be mad please?”

“I’m not mad, I’m not I promise, calm down.” I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles softly, edging closer.

“Shh, I’m not mad, I’m not mad at you. If you can smell that I am, it’s not at you, I promise it’s not at you.” I started coaxing him closer, “I’m mad at them, mad that they hurt you. I’m mad that they’ve hurt you so much that after almost two years of being away from them, you’re still scared of touch.” He sobbed glancing at my face before letting me pull him against my chest again.

“I’m mad that your parents put you in that situation, I’m mad that you were in that situation. I’m mad at every one of the vampires and lab assistants and scientists. But never will I be mad at you, understand? I will never be mad at you for what they did, what you were forced into, and made to think was ok. I will never be mad at you for that.” I looked him in the eyes as I spoke and slowly very slowly did he seem to understand, and slowly did he start to calm down, relaxing back onto my chest.


	26. First 'Practice'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this seems like it's random, and yes it doesn't really flow with the past few chapters, but I promise I will tie it in, I am still posting it here because it's a really important chapter. I promise I will explain in a few chapters! thanks for reading!
> 
> -Perfect Weapon

CC's P.O.V 

It was all I could do to keep breathing, Jake didn't explain what he was doing or why. He had me pulled into his chest which was sort of normal, except for the part where he had pressed his nose into my pulse. 

"What are you doing Jake?" I breathed shutting my eyes tightly, he hummed pressing closer and nosing at my skin and the scars there. I hunched my shoulders trying to get his head farther away from my skin, Jake pulled my shoulders down gently still not saying anything. 

After what felt like forever, Jake loosened his grip so I pulled away running up to my room without looking back. I shut my door and fell to the ground in front of it, tears of fear and confusion fell as I tried to regain my breath. _Why'd he do that? What'd we do? Are we in trouble? Is he gonna hurt us?_ I listened for foot steps before deciding it was 'safe' to shift before curling up in front of the door. 

"CC, it's time for dinner." Jinxx knocked on the door, I say 'knocked' he probably barely even tapped on it and I still jumped out of my skin. figuratively and literally, I shifted back to human as I jumped away from the door, landing gracefully on my backside. _And this is more evidence for why we shouldn't sleep..._ I stood up checking that all my parts matched this body so I wouldn't face plant again because I had one wolf leg and one human one, laugh all you want but it's happened before.

"You good Pup?" I nodded starting to follow him down stairs, I didn't want to go down stairs, but I was kinda (very) hungry.

"Jinxx?" I stopped suddenly, he turned around when I spoke.

"Yes?" His eyes kind as ever, even if they were a little creepy at times.

"N-nothing, never mind, its nothing." I stumbled out, looking at my sleeve covered hands. 

"Is everything ok CC?" He tilted my head up so our eyes met, I nodded stepping back submissively, "do you need a hug?" I coughed on a cry and stepped back shaking my head too scared to say 'yes.' Crooning softly Jinxx stepped forward and pulled me into his arms. I curled into him letting him comfort me, "he's not going to hurt you Pup, try and trust him." I nodded slowly not believing him but willing to try. 

"What is he doing?" I whispered glancing up at his face, "am I in trouble?"

"He'll explain everything just be patient, Little One." Jinxx hushed pulling away from the hug and took my hand in his before starting down the stairs.

So we sit around the table as such, Ashley, Andy, Jinxx, Jake, and me. Which means because it's a round table, that I'm stuck between Ashley and Jake. So on a normal day I'm stressed at the dinner table, one; because I'm scared of being around people when I eat. Two, I'm between in my opinion the two most intimidating people in the pack. 

"CC, you haven't moved since you sat down, you ok?" Jake put his hand on my shoulder, I tried not to flinch, swallowing the lump in my throat and nodded just enough to be seen. I managed to shake off my daze of fear enough to pick at the green beans and a bit at the meat. 

_Is Ash mad at us? He doesn't smell mad... but he might be hiding it. What if he found out about-_

"Hey CC, hang back a minute?" Jake asked as we were cleaning up after dinner, I turned to face him slowly. As soon as I had, he caught my shoulder and spun me into his chest, my back pressed against it and his nose at my pulse.

"No," I whimpered pulling against him, I looked around for Ashley, _maybe he'll at least tell us what we did wrong..._ He just looked at me, his frown deepening when I kept eye contact and continued fighting against Jake. I sobbed closing my eyes against tears, we just stood there for a bit before Jake shuffled forward forcing me forward as well. I opened my eyes as he walked closer to the counter. 

"N-no, Jake please! No," tears fell as I tried to pull my arms free.

"Stop fighting." Was all I heard before I felt blunt teeth nip at my neck.

"No, please Jake- Jake _please?"_ I dug my heals in still trying to get my arms free. 

"Please? Take as much as you want, please I-I'll let you take it, just n-not that- please? Please Jake? Please, please, please?" I was sobbing now, _please don't do this?_

"Ashley?" _'He won't help us, he told Jake to-'_

"Shh CC, you're safe, it's ok." My back slammed against the cabinet as I fell curling in on myself, looking through tears at Jake who was crouched in front of me now.

"Please," scratching enough to draw blood, I thrust my arm out, flexing my wrist so it would bleed more.

"What's wrong CC? What happened?"

"What's going on Jake? What'd you do?"

"I don't know, I figured he'd spook but not this bad... He's making even less sense then he normally does, it was 0 to 100." I glanced up from where I had buried my face in my elbow, Ashley was now crouched a few feet behind Jake. 

"Hey C, you alright?" He spoke seeing me move, I sobbed scraping my nails into the cut in my wrist, blood and pain running down it.

"Stop! CC I'm not trying to drink from you." Jake pulled my hand away from my shredded wrist, in doing so I fell towards him screaming through a sob. 

"Please..." Vaguely I registered a blanket being wrapped around me, and being moved so I was tucked into someones' chest, it smelt more like Ash then Jake.

"What happened Pup? Talk to me," yup Ash was holding me now, I whimpered curling further in on myself and pushed everything that was going through my head at Ashley and I's bond, the mental link that we shared. Being forced up against a wall or a counter, the bruises that took months to fade, not having anywhere to escape to, trapped and hurt. Getting thrown into whatever I was pinned against when I fought or cried out. The bond was new and not very strong, but I think I got enough of the message through. I just hope he's not mad at me.

"Oh Pup," _why isn't he yelling at us?_ "Jake would _never_ do that, none of us will ever _hurt_ you CC, I promise." I sobbed again and Ash made a comforting sound while moving me so my nose was pressed into his neck and scent point. 

"Please," I pushed my wrist towards him.

"Shh Pup, I won't hurt you." I felt someone wrap my wrist in something.

"I'll be good Ash, 'promise-"

"Shh CC, nobody's gonna hurt you, it's alright."

"I-I don't understand, I don't know what I did wrong, do-don't hate me Please?" I know I shouldn't beg, that I should just shut up and take it, but I'm so scared. It was one thing with the vampires but with Jake? They'd just take what they wanted and leave, but Jake was a friend, at least I thought of him as one.

"I'll let him, I won't fight, I promise I won't, I'm sorry- whatever I did I'm sorry." I sobbed into his neck, not daring to fight against his gentle hold on me.

"CC look at me," Ashley used some of his Alfa voice, but it didn't have the harshness it did when I was in trouble, I looked up at him whimpering apologetically. "No one, is gonna _hate_ you Christian. Not Jake or Jinxx or Andy or me, we will Never _hate_ you." He took my face in his hands, wiping my tears away, "Ash?" Jake started, he gave the hybrid a 'later' look and tucked me back into his shoulder. 

"Calm down now Pup, you're alright." I nodded still scared, but slightly calmer now.

"I-I don't understand, I-I don't know what I did wrong, I didn't know I was in trouble. I didn't know I did something wrong, I won't fight you." I whispered, trying to control my breathing, so I could in turn control the pain. 

"Shh, you didn't do anything wrong, relax Pup nobody's gonna hurt you, breathe."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." 

Ashley's P.O.V 

Holding the shaking pup closer to my chest I pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders, humming softly.

"Mind clueing me in Ash?" Jake's hesitant voice filtered through my thoughts.

"Too far too fast, and stepping forward made it worse, by pushing him into the corner." I explained through our link, while smoothing CC's hair down.

"That's all? Seems like a bit of an overreaction, even for him..." Jake's eyebrow raised suspiciously.

"We'll talk about it later Jake, ok?" I said hoping he'd drop it as I stood up with CC in my arms, he whined softly wriggling in the blanket to stay close to my scent. CC when half asleep is very cuddly. I don't think I can tell Jake the whole reason CC freaked out, it would hurt them both to much, poor Pups. 

"Lets go to bed, we'll talk about it more in the morning, ok?" I ran my hand through Jake's hair making sure to run my wrist against his neck, to help meld our scents. Jake rubbed his check against my wrist sadly.

"I didn't mean to scare him so bad Ash." He whispered as we started walking out of the kitchen after almost an hour of calming the pup down. 

"I know, it's ok, and just proves the point of how much we need to do this. For both of you," he just nodded sadly as we walked into the room the five of us shared. Yes we often slept together, yes we have our own rooms if we want them, no it's not sexual and no it's not weird. Well not any more than us actually being werewolves.

"Want me to take him Ash?" Jinxx asked looking up from his book as we walked in, I nodded walking over to the bed and giving Jinxx the Pup burrito carefully as to not wake him, before going to get ready for bed quickly.

"Shh CC, Ash will be right back ok?" I heard Jinxx say as I walked back into the room, seeing CC had woken up and was panicking, Jinxx trying to calm him down. "Shh, see? He's back Pup, settle down." He pointed to me making CC look up quickly, to which I got frantic grabby hands and more tears.

"Hey shh, I'm right here, it's ok." I gathered him up in my arms as I sat down next to Jinxx.

"Ashy." He whimpered, poor thing smelt so much of fear, think of it as licking the outside peal of a lemon, that's what fear smells like.

"I'm here Little One, calm down," I ran my hand through his hair, covering him in my scent to help block out the fear and calm him down, going from his hair to his neck a little bit and across his face as I wiped away the tears. 

He whimpered again before calming down and snuggling into me, going back to sleep.

"Is he ok?" Jake whispered looking almost as nervous.

"He's alright Pup," Andy grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him in between him and Jinxx, trying to sooth our brother as Jinxx reached over and turned out the light.

"Are you ok?" Andy asked, Jake whimpered nodding a little as we lay down, curling up and scenting each other to make sure we were all pack and safe before falling asleep.


	27. Night Before Tour.

CC'S P.O.V

"Wait, we're leaving? When?" I swallowed dryly.

"End of the week, it was a last minute entry, I just got off the phone with Jon about it, he got us into this Warped Tour, and we leave Friday morning if we're going." Ash pulled me into a side hug.

"If you're not ready we don't have to go," I hugged him back weakly as I glanced around at the others, I couldn't make them miss this, I wanted to puke from all the excitement I smelt in the air.

"That's not fair to you guys though," I stared at the floor, "I can't stop your dreams just cause I'm scared," it was quiet for a second before Andy spilled coffee over his hand.

"Ouch!" Jake shook his head muttering something about how it was a good thing he had a voice, before helping him clean it up. 

"You sure you're ready for this C?" Ash hummed pressing a kiss to my hair, I nodded.

"I've gotta go on tour sometime if I want to be a drummer, right?" I hummed a little, pressing closer to my mate, I was getting fairly used to that fact, though I still wasn't great with the whole 'physical intimacy' thing. but hey, as long as we don't stay apart for more than 24 hours there aren't any 'bond problems' which it like a really bad case of heart burn, that goes away with a hug for the most part. 

"Proud of you Pup," he pressed another kiss to my head as he pulled out his phone texting Jon a 'we're in' before we all got back to making dinner. 

Packing over the next three days went both way to quickly and too slowly all at the same time. between packing all the gear, amps, cables, guitars, basses, drums, violins and other assorted tour related things, and clothes, it was a very busy three days. 

Thursday night, none of us could calm down enough to go to sleep even though we had to get up at four and leave by five-thirty.

"Andy, stop bouncing and lay still." Jake scolded after some ten minutes of the wolf bouncing and rolling around in his spot on the bed. 

"I can't, I'm too excited!" He complained as Jinxx sighed pulling him into his arms.

"Just lay still." He whispered rolling so Andy was partly trapped underneath him. That's something Andy and I have in common, we like weight or tight things when we're too amped up, stressed or excited but it can also make it worse, feeling trapped so it's a fun guessing game for everyone involved. Though the height difference made it look kinda funny when Jinxx was helping Andy with grounding.

I couldn't sleep either I was too nervous, after another restless thirty or so minutes, Ash sighed.

"Come on, let's go." He got up, confused we all followed, downstairs and outside.

"Ash?" I asked confused when he shifted.

_"Come on Pups,"_ he nudged at our legs bouncing around us, the four of us shifted and greeted each other, playing around and rolling in the grass.

_"Let's go!"_ Ashley called as he ran off, the rest of us following him into the woods. 

We ran through the woods and onto the path I had made from endless loops around the house on nights I couldn't sleep. We ran single file through the woods until the trail ends at the fallen tree at the south end of the loop and Ash stopped, sniffing.

_"C, where's the trail?"_ He asked confused.

" _on the other side of the tree,"_ I answered sniffing at a bush.

_"You wanna lead Love?"_ Ash hummed walking to me and licking my face.

_"uhh, I can I guess..."_ I loped along the side of the trail until I was at the front of the pack and jumped over the tree landing on my front feet first, I glanced back before taking off down the trail I knew so well I could run it blind folded. 

Happy howls and yips rang out as we ran I glanced back every now and then, they were keeping up with me. When we got to the fun part I yipped and jumped over the fallen tree sliding down the hill on the other side, it was really steep.

_"Careful,"_ I called out as I ran up the other side, I turned a little off the trail to watch them. They did great and Ash took the lead again I ran beside and a little behind him for another five rounds before we collapsed at the creek lapping up the water. 

_"Ready for bed yet or do we need to go a few more laps?"_ Ash panted after a few minutes of just laying in the grass, I yawned and licked his face before laying down.

_"Let's go_ _back inside before we fall asleep and miss the alarm."_ Jinxx yawned nudging Andy to his feet, with a groan we pulled ourselves to our feet and trudged home. 

"Everyone up, let's go!" I bolted up slamming my head against a chest.

"Ow," hands grabbed my shoulders steadying me while my vision cleared.

"Easy Pup," Jake chuckled, "we don't have to get up that fast." He let go smiling.

"The one night I don't have a nightmare is the night we have to get up at the crack of dawn, seriously?" I rubbed my eyes and clambered out of bed.

"You can go back to sleep once we're on the road." Ash messed up my hair even more as he walked past, I glared lightly fixing it as I went over to where I put my clothes and started pulling them on. 

"What city is the first show in again?" Jake asked.

"Uhh, Memphis I think," Jinxx replied, looking up from his book, I curled up into Ashley's side, trying not to stress out.

"You're gonna be fine, you've practiced these songs a hundred times, stressing about things that might not happen is only going to make you sick." Ash hugged me closer to his side, taking a deep breath I nodded bringing my sleeves over my hands. 

"But what if they do happen? What if someone recognizes me, or I forget the right rhythm, or or I try to flip one of my sticks and it flies into your eyes and you go blind? What if-" My chest get tight and breathing was starting to hurt, curling up further into Ashleys side. 

"Whoah, slow down Pup, everything's gonna be fine, if someone recognizes you we won't let them near you, if you forget take a deep breath and calm down, it'll come back. Everything's gonna be ok, breathe." Ashley hummed as he pulled me onto his lap. 

"b-but what-"

"Shh, breathe." Hiding my face in Ash's neck I whined softly, trying to take deeper breathes, he rocked slightly taking exaggerated breaths so I had something to follow, after a while my eyes dropped shut and I didn't have the energy to keep them open any more.


	28. First Show

CC's P.O.V

"There's so many," I mumbled looking past the stage to the crowd from where we were waiting backstage for the opening band to play their set, I think they were called Pierce the Veil.

"Yeah, you ready C?" Jake replied coming up and slinging his arm around my shoulder, he's been really weird ever since that night in the kitchen, and I'm kinda worried about it but don't want to say anything, I just wish he'd tell me why and what he's doing it for. 

"I think so," I watched the drummer for this band, he was a lot better than I was, it seemed like he wasn't even looking at his drum kit (set? I never know) he was that good. 

"Hey, don't worry about it everything'll be fine, besides this your first show, it's probably Mike's 100th. It's just like practice, relax and enjoy the music, besides you're a natural." Jake steered us back to where the others were standing warming up, I slipped out from under Jake's arm and ducked in next to Ash. 

"Hey C, your wrists warmed up?" Ash asked, I nodded shrugging as he held out his hands, I held onto them as we started the routine again that I had done about four times already and my wrists still felt stiff. 

"You're gonna be fine Love, just relax and have fun, you know these songs front and back, you've got nothing to worry about," Ash whispered in my ear as he hugged me, I hugged back breathing in his scent and nodding, even though I was nervous I really wanted to do this, so it was more of an excited nervous?

"How much longer?" I asked when we let go of each other, making my wolf whine, I rolled my shoulders trying to get used to the feeling of all the paint, my whole upper body and face were covered in paint to mimic my pack markings, but were messed up in a way that you couldn't tell that's what the marks were emulating and I was completely out of my comfort zone with the cut off t-shirt, and yes it was one of Ash's.

"20 minutes guys!" Jon came over as the other band ran off stage past us where quick congrats and good lucks were exchanged, I just kinda waved awkwardly from where I had tucked myself into Ashley's side, while the sets were changed out. 

"Last check," Jon held out his hand, we turned the in ear monitors on and ran the check Jon, double checking we were on the right frequency and what not, even though this was the fifth time we had done this since the start of sound check 6 hours ago. 

"Ok set list one more time, go," Jon pointed at Andy who was bouncing on his toes. 

"Set the World on Fire," Andy said starting his voice high and ending in a low growl, 

"Knives and pens," Jake said. 

"Perfect Weapon," Jinnx said. 

"Legacy," I said. 

"We Stitch These Wounds," Ashley said. 

We ran through the names, I took a deep breath but it didn't help them from blending back together in my mind. 

"It's go time! Get out there and good luck!" Brandon the stage manager called, ushering us to side stage. 

"You got this boys!" Jon whooped as Jake ran out going almost all the way across to the other side, then Jinxx, then it was my turn before Ashley and then Andy ran out growling a 'hello Memphis' before we immediately started 'set the world on fire'. 

Now I understand what the boys were always talking about with the rush after preforming, it's crazy almost like being electrocuted, not so bad that you die but just enough that you feel all buzzy and full of energy, like the time I accidentally drank an entire glass of 'energy 5000' at once, except I'm not worried my heart's going to explode this time. Also, always ask exactly what is in a pitcher on tour to avoid becoming the energizer bunny for 12 hours straight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short, it's more of a filler/transition chapter, I'll have more soon!
> 
> Thank's for reading! comment with any questions, suggestions or concerns! 
> 
> -Perfect Weapon


	29. First party on tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk about self harm in this one, nothing detailed.

C.C's P.O.V 

So we had a party event thing tonight. It was Jon's idea, something about promoting the band or something. Actually getting sleep for a change, even after being all hyped up from the show, but I was also exhausted from it. I was in a good mood for the most part today, it was really busy with finishing paperwork and talking to a bunch of different reporters and all so going into this I'm kind of peopled out.

I was trying to figure what to wear. I know, not the manliest thing ever, but I didn't want to show all my scars. I also didn't want to look like I had just woken up and had just thrown on a hoodie and went with it. 

"You getting ready C?" knocking on the door to the bunk room, Ash opened it part way peaking his head through.

"I don't know what to wear..." I turned, holding a red and black plaid long sleeve in one hand and a grey long sleeve in the other, feeling ridiculous. 

"Either one," Ash spoke as he dug in the top draw of the dresser wall, turning he took the two shirts out of my nervous grip and handed me a grey tank top.

"Put it on." I looked at it then at him. 

"You want me to what?" I squeaked eyes wide, he laughed with kind eyes as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Just trust me." He turned and went to the dresser, folding the two shirts before grabbing a green, grey, and black plaid instead.

"Here, it'll bring out your eyes more." Ash set it on the bed before turning back to the dresser. 

I quickly put it on, feeling a little weird about the layers.

"These should be soft enough not to bother the scars, if you want to cover your wrists. But you don't have to." Ash handed me a few bracelets, I took them feeling the insides for how soft they were while I tried to decide of I could actually wear them. 

I finally decided that I could wear them, but I couldn't make myself put them on, I whined quietly making Ash look at me worried. 

"I can't put them on," I looked down at my wrists ashamed of the scars, I didn't put them there with a blade but they were part of a punishment so indirectly I still put them there. _Does Ash see it like that? I'm not sure, but-._

"Stop thinking like that, none of that stuff was your fault you didn't do anything wrong," Ashley took my chin in his hand gently making me look him in the eyes.

"But I wasn't good enough, I wasn't-"

"What you couldn't keep yourself from screaming while they cut you open while you could feel, see, and hear everything? You begged them to stop pumping poison into your body?" his voice was rough, not harsh per say more edging on sort of sarcastic, I closed my eyes to break the eye contact, trying not to cry as I held my breath to keep from shaking.

"Those are normal things, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from screaming, they held you to insane standards and for most of it you were a pup." His voice softened.

"No, of course I don't see the scars on your skin as your fault, you didn't hold the blade, the lighter or the glass shard, and if you did then I don't want you to be afraid, I want you be able to tell me that one day so I can keep you safe, but I'll never think it's your fault." He let go on my chin, hugging me to him, I whimpered hugging back. 

"I don't get it," shaking my head I pulled away from him.

"I know you don't but one day you will," Ash kissed my forehead before taking my hand in one of his and a bracelet in the other starting to put it on. 

"What would you do?" I whispered after we had gotten through the first three bracelets.

"What would I do when Love?" Ash whispered back but his tone said, I know what your asking but I want to hear you say it.

"I-if I hurt myself on purpose, what would you do?" I whispered trying not to shake as Ash finished fastening the last bracelet, I had woken up covered in scratches and cuts marred with dried blood on more than one occasion some I remember doing and had every intention of putting there and others I don't have any memory of.

"Well, I'd hold you close," as he spoke Ash pulled me into his lap gently, "and I'd ask if what you used was dirty or clean, if you needed stitches, if they were infected could I help clean them. If I can help wrap them, if you wanted to talk or just needed a hug." Ash squeezed me a little tighter.

"I'd ask if you wanted help to stop, what I could do to make it easier. But I wouldn't yell, I wouldn't demand you hand over whatever you're using, that you stop this instant, I know that would only make it worse," He nuzzled my hair softly. 

"I'm not saying it's ok, that it's a safe coping mechanism it most certainly isn't, all I'm saying is that yelling at you could make it worse, taking away what you use could be more dangerous if you try to improvise and use something that's dirty or dull, that you're not used to. It breaks my heart that you feel that it helps, but I'm not going to make you feel guilty about it, because that will only make things worse." I wrapped my arms around his neck hiding my face in his shoulder and sniffled trying not to cry. 

"I'm sorry Ashes," my voice broke Ash just held me tighter purring softly.

"Hey don't cry, I didn't mean to make you upset Love," 

"I-I don't mean to sometimes, t-they just show up and I don't know where they came from..." This sounds weird, "I-I mean I know I put them there b-but I don't remember it?" my voice caught in my throat making a sound like a strangled cat. 

"It's ok C, for now it's ok, if they're bad I want you to try and tell me ok? Wear your gloves if you feel they're still helping, and we'll work on finding some better options for you to use to ground yourself ok?" He ran a hand through my hair before cupping the base of my skull, I don't know why but it's aways made me feel safe when he does it, no matter what's really going on, its always safe, I nodded slowly feeling my mind and body relax slightly. 

"Time to head out!" Andy knocked on the door, making me jump. 

"Be out in a minute!" Ash called, "You ready?" He squeezed his arm tighter around me before pulling back, I lifted my head and nodded, trying not to focus on the anxiety about being around so many people again. 

"Everything's gonna be fine, alright?" I nodded as we walked out of the bunk room, I've got a weird feeling about tonight, not a bad feeling necessarily, just a weird one. 

Human parties are weird, not that I've been to wolf parties for a comparison but this was weird. I don't really understand 'dancing' or at least the way most of the people here were doing, basically having clothed sex with a bunch of strangers, I know humans don't have mates at least not the way we do, but even still that's weird. 

Andy and Jinxx seemed to like dancing though it wasn't as 'weird', they actually made it look kinda fun, _we should dance with Ash. Um, what? No, not happening. Come on it'd be fun! Maybe later, I don't know how really. just copy them, maybe later._

"You're the Black Veil Brides new drummer right, C-something?" A tallish guy with spiky brown hair came up to me, I recognized him from Pierce The Veil but didn't remember his name. 

"Yeah, um I'm CC," I waved awkwardly instead of offering my hand like humans usually do, partly because I don't want to touch someone I don't really know and partly because I don't really know if that breaks the rule, I know Ash doesn't approve or enforce this one, it's the labs rule after all, but still...

"I'm Jamie, you've got some skills dude how long have you been playing?" Spiky haired dude or Jamie introduced himself handing me a cup of dark liquid it smelled mostly like coke and something else strong. 

"Umm, thanks, not that long I guess, You?" I replied trying to remember some of the small talk notes that I should have studied more before coming here. 

"What do I do with this Jake?" I held onto our bond. 

"Drink it if you want kid, I've known Jamie a long time, he's a good guy." My brother's voice came back. 

"Most of my life, been with PTV since '07." he took a sip from his own drink, "first tour huh?" I nodded faking taking a sip so I could smell it better without being too weird. It was strong but sweet like trees and fruit, drugs are almost always really bitter smelling. 

"Alright, well have fun, I've got to go make sure the brothers aren't doing something stupid, see ya round. Cheers." He knocked his cup into mine before taking a large sip, I nodded and drank from mine, weird but not bad. 

"Thanks, nice meeting you," I replied, he nodded before walking back into the crowd, I stood in my corner for a few more minutes sipping at the drink in my hand as I looked for Ashley in the crowd, I found him easily and took the rest of the time I stood there working up the guts to go over there. Because I didn't want to interrupt anything. 

The music was getting kinda blurry, can sound get blurry? I'm going with it can, and my head felt lighter, _there's defiantly something in this._

"Hey CC, what've you been up too?" Ash hummed as I came up and pressed into his side, the five of us were pretty touchy when we were hiding our wolves, so this didn't really read as we were dating to other people. 

"Tag," I muttered shrugging, as the music changed genres from something that sounds like a robot made it to country, odd choice but the music has been weird all night. 

_Is Ash always this warm? maybe, I like it._

"What were you and Jamie talking about earlier?" Soft voice, not mad, I like soft Ashley. 

"Music, how long we had been playing and stuff," I answered really bouncy, feeling a lot more hyper than I usually do.

"I'm gonna assume he gave you that too?" his voice was all smiles, one of the guys standing in the circle muttered an 'oh crap' while another said 'he got the kid." 

I nodded confused but feeling too giddy to mind a whole lot. 

"I'll catch y'all later," Ash called as he walked away me still under his arm, why are we walking back to the corner? 

"Ashes?"

"Ok, plain and simple C, your drunk, that's why you feel weird. Jamie has a way of getting the new kid on tour smashed-means really drunk- the first party. Which is mostly fine except for the meds Jinxx has you on, might not react well with alcohol." He sniffed at the cup wrinkling his nose, "Pup that's really strong, it doesn't bother you?" I shrugged whining a little. 

"I didn't know what to do with it, 'didn't wanna be rude... an' make him mad," I gave him the cup nervously, "I didn't mean to be bad, I-I didn't know it was gonna hurt me," I looked down at my feet, trying not to get scared. 

"Shh, I'm not mad, it's ok CC. I just want you to stay close to me for a while to make sure you don't get sick and can't find me, ok?" He set the cup down on the table beside us, taking my face in his hands making my wolf melt.

"Hey, I don't want you stressing about it ok? Let me worry about it, I just wanted you to know what was going on so it wasn't a surprise." Ashes face is really close, like really close our foreheads were almost touching leaning into his hands as I looked into his eyes made our foreheads touch. 

"Tag," I whispered closing my eyes before gently pressing my lips to his, _NOW WHAT?! I have no idea!_ I started to pull back when Ash unfroze and pressed closer kissing back, _I have no idea what to do!_ I did something I hoped was copying his movements.

"Tag," Ash whispered back, grinning I looked into his deep brown eyes as the music changed again to something with a heavy beat, _do what the humans do, What? Dance, do the thing we saw._

"C," Ash's voice dropped as I pressed into him to move away from the wall, swaying my hips as I did so. 

"Ashes," I wrapped my arms around his neck, as he wrapped his arms around my waist. 

"C-" 

"Come on Ashes. Dance with me?" I whispered pressing another kiss to his lips and swayed into him, Ash groaned and kissed me back hands gripping my hips. "You won't hurt me Ashes," I pulled back to look into his eyes as I spoke, the worried look in his eyes left and he smiled swaying to the music. 

"I'll never hurt you Baby, I'm glad you're starting to trust me," Ashley hummed, even though the music was fast we were just swaying slowly, lost in our own world from the people around us. 

I looked up as I was resting my head on his shoulder seeing a man in the corner watching us, I looked away as a shiver ran through me and pressed closer to Ash trying not to think about it and enjoy a rare moment of something normal with my Mate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so glad you read this chapter, I'll have more soon and trust me my writing gets a lot better in a few chapters! Anyway thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one! Comment any questions, suggestion, or concerns you have!  
> -Perfect Weapon


	30. With Teeth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out, it's been crazy here, and I could not for the life of me figure out how to end this chapter, it's still not great so don't be surprised if I edit things, also I might be adding some earlier chapters to help with the flow of events better so that's why the chapter numbers may change. but anyway, here's whatever this is.. kinda TW towards the end but no details. Also this story is about to get pretty dark for the next few chapters so here's that warning. 

CC's P.O.V

_This is not happening... I wish he'd just tell us why, this is the forth time- with no explanation, I can't do this anymore..._

"Let go of me!" I fought out of his arms spinning around to face him, "I can't do this anymore," I looked straight at Jake. 

"C-" Jake started. 

"No, if your gonna bite me, get it over with!" _We are gonna die, probably._

"I'm not gonna-" I cut him off again, I didn't want him to lie to me about this. 

"I'm not a child so stop lying to me and just do it already!" 

"That's not it C-" 

"Then what!? What's the point of this? 'Cause I can't tell, no one's telling me anything, Ashley won't even tell me if I'm in trouble or not! And you're not telling me anything, so just do it already!!" My voice cracked harshly while my lungs felt tight. 

"I'm, I'm not trying to bite you-" 

"Then what are you doing!?" _Is it because we fought Ash and Jinxx so bad with the infusion?_

"We had an idea that maybe, if we practiced it you wouldn't be so scared," what? 

"It's not something that's just gonna go away Jake," I whispered, "I'm never not going to be scared of being bitten." 

"I know," he sighed, looking apologetic, "we came up with it thinking you might not be so scared of us... me, if we practiced it." 

"Hu?" Ok, I'm confused. 

"Kind of like tag and copycat," he explained, why are we adding a new touching game? I still can barely handle the other two, yeah I can do them most times but they're still really stressful. 

"With teeth," I muttered. 

"Yeah, well no, yes, but not until you're ready to try that. I'm trying to show you that my being by your neck doesn't hurt you." That’s what he’s been doing?! Seriously?! 

"That's been totally clear," I scoffed, am I trying to get killed?! 

"I didn't mean to trigger a flashback that night CC, honest." 

"Would've been nice to know what was going on," 

"I know, I'm sorry," that was genuine, I could see it in his eyes, I sighed probably going to regret what I was going to say. 

"Ok," I whispered, pulling my sleeves over my hands. 

"Ok?" He echoed, stepping towards me, I stepped back. 

"I'll try to 'practice' with you," _cause that sounds normal,_ yup I'm going to die. 

"Ok, we’ll go slow-way slower than the other games and you can stop it anytime with ‘red’, and I’ll explain things more so there’s no surprises.” _Please don't make me regret this..._

We talked some more about it and other things for a while before Joh called Jake to help with some paperwork. We were traveling all day today and because I can't drive yet, I didn't really have much to do, Ash still two hours for his driving shift. So I eventually went to my bunk where I had a few books, I wasn't the best at reading since I didn't exactly have school _there_ but I'm getting better at it, slowly. When we get off tour Ash says I should start going to school with Andy to try and catch up some more and get better at talking to people, both things I'm not real thrilled about, but fine. 

The next week and a half was non stop with shows, interviews, meet and greats, signings, more shows, traveling and parties. There was so much going on that everything was getting to hard to process, the only time I had alone and it was quiet was the maybe three hours of sleep I could get at a time. Even when I had time to sleep I couldn't as my nightmares were just getting worse. I knew why too but I couldn't do anything about it, not, it seemed without getting in trouble, that and I had no clue how to ask for help. 

We were on the road again, new day/late afternoon new city, so I was trying to take a nap while I could. I really just wish I could forget about it and go back to the way it was but every time I close my eyes I see _him_ and I can't sleep without reliving it again.

“CC, please tell me what happened?” I just curled up further into a ball in my bunk, desperately trying to quiet the sobs that I couldn’t stop.

“Please just leave me alone,” I whispered, trying not to scream when Ashley touched my shoulder.

“Please tell me what happened? I just want to help Love,” I bit at my knuckles that were pressed against my mouth while pulling the blanket higher up my shoulder blocking my head from view, hoping that he’d stop touching me and go away.

“Ok, if you change your mind, I’m here for you ok?” He took his hand off my shoulder making my wolf cry out, he wanted Ash to comfort us but I can’t, even if I wanted it, I couldn’t, he’ll hate me.

“Try and get some sleep C, I love you, nothing will ever change that.” Soft words and the sound of the curtain being drawn, before his steps faded away, that’s when the dam broke and nothing could stop the tears.

That whole next morning was tense, Ash kept trying to talk to me and I knew if I replied I would start crying again, so I just shut down and stayed quiet, much to the dismay of my wolf and the bewilderment of of the rest of our band/crew. I couldn’t, how was I supposed to tell him anyway, he’d hate me.

I know I can’t hide what happened forever and when he finds out I’m as good as dead, it’s selfish of me to pretend like nothing’s wrong and hope he’ll ignore it too. I’m just making it worse for myself I should tell him and get it over with maybe he won’t be that mad. 

At this point I had memorized the schedule, I knew all the places, dates, and times, what I didn't know was how to convince Joh to let me stay on the bus for the party we had after the show tonight. At least not without making everyone ask more questions than I was ready to answer. I managed to slightly appease Ashley by telling him I was just overwhelmed with all the travel and people, which wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the answer he wanted but it got him to back off a little bit. Maybe I can convince him that I'm too tired after the show to go to the party after?

That might work, though I've never had a conversation with the man without hiding behind one of the others, we'll figure it out. Just get through the show, yeah, avoid Ash's sad eyes so we don't start crying and get through the show, we'll figure out everything later. Don't look side-stage either, act like nothing's wrong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so glad you read this chapter, I'll have more soon and trust me my writing gets a lot better in a few chapters! Anyway thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one! Comment any questions, suggestion, or concerns you have!  
> -Perfect Weapon


	31. Torture. Why is it Always Torture?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real question is why do I torture my characters so... anyway, this gets pretty bad so TW for sexual assault, (Cause I'm awful.) but hey some writing advise was 'what does your character want most in life and how can I stop that from happening...' Anyway stay safe, not all the wolves in the world want to cuddle platonically in the sunshine. Also please don't come after me for my terrible rendition of a tour bus, I know it's inaccurate in a lot of ways, but who says that it's not somehow enchanted? I mean there are werewolves so... MIND THE TAGS PLEASE!!! They're there for a reason.

CC's P.O.V

“CC,” I flinched at the worried voice of my Mate, keeping my eyes on the book that I held in my hands, pretending to be interested in it. 

“Please talk to me?” Ashley whispered sitting down next to me, I moved so we weren’t touching, “Something's wrong, and I can’t fix it if I don’t know what it is C, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t.

“Please, your scared, the nightmares are stronger and you won’t let any of us comfort you from them, you won’t talk, you’ve been keeping to yourself more then usual, you’re not eating, please just talk to me, did something happen Pup?” He tried to take my hand in his, stopping when I flinched and shook my head, taking a deep breath.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I whispered, even though we both knew it was a lie.

“You know you can tell me anything, and I won’t be mad right?” Ashley asked, I nodded because I knew that’s what he expected, _but I can’t tell you, you’ll hate me…_ “ok, are you ready to go?” He asked standing and offering his hand to me, I nodded hesitantly taking his hand and stood.

“I love you C, nothing will ever change that.” Ash cupped my face gently making me look into his eyes, before letting go. _You say that now…_

We were at another band party, and of course I didn't figure out how to get Jon to let me stay 'home'. It felt like we had one almost every city at this rate, I guess it was ok; like all the others, loud music, dancing and small groups yelling over the music to have a conversation. I stuck by the guys mostly, alternating who I stood by so I didn’t come off as clingy. But eventually one by one I lost them in the crowd, they’d find me soon, I just hope it's before-

"Look at you cutie, alone again.” The broad but short man with rainbow and black hair spoke with a sickly sweet voice as he came much to close for comfort, I bit my lip to stay quiet and pressed myself further into the corner.

“Leave me alone!” I snapped jumping when he slammed his hand against the wall by my head.

“Let me think, umm no,” he smirked, eyes glinting cruelly in the flashing lights of the party.

“Please leave me alone,” I whispered side stepping when his hand ran up my thigh to my belt, “stop!” His hand around my throat slammed my head against the wall, as his other hand continued to get into my pants. 

“I-I have a boyfriend!” I clawed at his hand around my neck as I tried to get out from under his searching hand, _please stop… call Ash, he-he’ll help us._

“Really? I don’t see him,” then his mouth was on my neck, sucking, biting, scraping.

“Stop!” I hit at his chest, trying to get this stranger off me. 

“Ashley please find me.” I pleaded through our bond, sobbing as I tried to stop the hands that kept hurting me.

“Who the hell do you think you are!?” Ashley growled, ripping him away from me and pulling me towards Andy who I let hold me as I cried scared and relived and ashamed. 

“Don’t you ever touch my boyfriend again, you scumbag!” Ash pushed him away before we were going through the club towards the entrance, when we were outside Ashley pulled me against him and I whimpered scared of getting yelled at, “shh, lets get back to the bus Little One.” And we were walking again, none of us said anything the only noise was our boots and my tears as we walked. 

“Are you hurt CC?” Ashley’s voice was soft, why wasn’t he yelling at me?

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed pulling away from his hands searching for injuries, “I’m sorry,” _please don’t be mad at me._

“Shh, what happened Pup?” Soft words as a blanket wrapped around my shoulders.

“He he came up to me an-and started touching-I'm sorry! I-I tried to stop him, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I whimpered.

“Did you recognize him?” I shook my head.

“I don’t know who he is I’m sorry, Ashley I’m sorry, please don’t be mad,” I glanced up trying to see how mad he was, we were the only ones in the room, doors closed, I whimpered. 

“Was this the first time he did this?”

“Please don’t be mad,” this is always how it started with ‘in charge’ even though he gave them the go ahead it was always my fault when I couldn’t stop them. _Will mate hurt us too? Cause we couldn’t make him stop?_ I tried, I always tired to stop them.

“CC,” Why did he sound so calm? Is it fake calm is he just really angry and pretending so I’ll trust him?

“Please?” I backed up into a corner, trying not to get caught in a flashback that started out the same way with 'in charge' trying to remember it's Ashley and he won't hate us cause we smell like someone else, he's not gonna throw us against the wall and hurt us. 

“CC tell me, was this the first time he hurt you?” Ashleys voice was firm and unyielding, I sobbed shaking my head before curling in on myself tensing my neck to get ready for a hand around my throat slamming my head into the wall.

“CC?! Why didn’t you tell me someone was assaulting you?” _Is he mad at us?_

“I-I know I should have told you-I’m sorry I was scared I-I-I wasn’t trying to lie, I’m sorry!?” I cried out, flinching when Ash pulled me close.

“Shh little one breathe, I got you, you’re safe now.” I sobbed again letting him hold me and going rag doll.

“CC honey, is that why you’ve been so scared lately? He was hurting you and you thought you couldn’t tell me?” Ash held my face in his hands making me look at me, I closed my eyes to avoid his that seemed too kind for this situation, and nodded a little. 

“Please don’t be mad, I’m sorry Ashley I’m so sorry,” I flinched as I could still feel the man’s hands on me. 

“Shh, you’re safe, I’m not mad I promise I’m not mad at you.” Gentle hands brushed away tears, “Look at me Pup,” I whimpered opening my eyes but not meeting his, “are you hurt anywhere Pup or just scared? Are you bleeding or bruised anywhere, cuts?” Ashley’s hands smoothed my hair back as he looked over my neck that probably had bruises on it by now, lightly running his scent glands against the ones on my neck.

“I I don’t know, c-can I shower, I-every feels wrong-dirty, I’m sorry,” I flinched against his hands, not meeting his eyes even though I could tell that’s what he wanted more than me answering him.

“Of course you can, you don’t need to apologize CC, non of this is your fault, ok?” Ash let me go and I moved to get a change of clothes before going into the small bathroom and locking the door. 

W _hy is this happening? Why couldn’t I stop him? Are we a bad mate, we must be we let someone other then Mate touch us… but I didn’t want it we tried to stop him, we don’t want anyone but Ashley, I don’t understand why he isn’t mad at us… is he mad we called him maybe we shouldn’t have, maybe he said it was ok and since we called him we’ll get in trouble…_

“CC? Are you alright in there?” At the sound of Jake’s voice, the fog lifted and I was painfully aware of the freezing cold water and the fact that I was covered in blood, holding back cries I rinsed the blood away as best I could revealing claw marks all over my stomach, hips, and thighs. 

“I-I’m fine!” I shut off the water, and bounced on the balls of my feet before grabbing my towel and biting my lip to keep the cries in as I wiped away the blood before wrapping everything in some gauze. 

“Ok, you can stay in there as long as you need to Pup, we’re here if you want to talk.” Jake’s footsteps faded after he spoke, I dressed in some flannel pants and a long sleeve shirt with a hoodie running the non bloody part of the towel through my hair, wiping off the tears as well, before putting it in the laundry. 

Sniffling I unlocked the door, peaking out before opening it fully and walking towards the sound of voices coming from the living room.

“Don't press him, if he wants to talk let him, but don’t push for it or physical contact, he’s really spooked,” Ash whispered.

“In a lot ways he’s probably going to act very similar to how he was when he first started living with us. Even though it wasn’t us who hurt him, his trust is broken, he probably thinks he’s in trouble with us-mainly Ash because of being Mates. He doesn’t know what’s safe anymore, any touch is bad, any conversation is because he’s in trouble, I’m speaking in extremes here but that’s how the traumatized mind often works.” Jinxx sounded like he had done this before, but was he right? I’m confused, I’m scared, yeah he’s right but can I trust him? Any of them?

I rocked on my heals just behind the doorway pulling my sleeves over my hands, as I tried to move either into the room or back towards the bunks.

“How was he Jake?” Ash leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees.

“Scared, he didn’t seem to realize I was there for a bit, he was probably disassociating, I could smell blood but I don’t know where it’s from.” He replied glancing at the hallway, I whimpered pressing myself against the door frame. 

“Hey Little One,” Ashley hummed gesturing me forward, I walked forward slowly and sat on the edge of the couch as far from the others as possible.

“How’re you feeling?” Jinxx stood up and walked towards me I tried not to flinch as he walked past me and towards the kitchen, I shrugged, not wanting to talk. 

“Here, this’ll help you warm up, it’s raspberry.” Jinxx pressed a cup into my hands I held onto it, nodding in thanks. 

“I know you don’t want to but do you need Jinxx to bandage anything CC?” Ashley prompted, I shook my head bringing the mug closer smelling it, it was nice and warm sweet smelling, and _warm_ , finally taking some of the chill out of my bones. 

“Tomorrow we get to the hotel, we have a meet and greet in the morning/afternoon, then a show at night, then next day is an off day, we’ll head out that night to the next city.” Jake read off the schedule before sipping his own tea, that probably wasn’t tea but the humans we worked with didn’t know that, he had his arm on the top of the couch, his way of saying I could come sit next to him. Did he actually think I could do that though? I could barley even do that before all this, but now?

_Ash isn’t yelling at us yet, if we were in trouble, he’d of told us by now, right? I think so… maybe?_ I brought my legs up and tucked them underneath me, trying not to wince at the claw marks that still haven’t healed as I tried to show them I didn’t plan on running, I was just scared of being touched, hurt. Sipping at the tea carefully I managed not to burn my tongue, it wasn’t as bad as some of the other teas Jinxx has made me drink so I appreciated that at least. 

Keeping my eyes on the mug in my hands, I looked through my thoughts to where the bonds with the boys sat along with my wolf’s consciousness, though he was often co-consciousness with me. Hesitantly I reached out and brushed my fingertips against the bond that joined Ashley and I’s minds, instantly hit with a wave of emotions coming from the wolf; sadness, anger, hurt, fear, pain, worry. 

“Ash?” I held onto the bond a little tighter to open up a line of communication with him.

“Yeah Little One?” As the reply came, the emotions were hidden and blocked away from where I could feel them.

“A-are you ok?” I asked, I didn’t know what to expect as an answer.

“Don’t worry about me Pup, how are you?” Ashley’s voice sounded broken even though he was hiding it, I whimpered where he couldn’t hear it, knowing it was my fault he felt like that. 

“I’ve been better, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I drank more of the tea, deciding that I liked how sweet it was.

“You didn’t hurt me CC,”

“Yes I did, I felt your emotions before you hid them, you’re hurt and it’s my-“

“No, it’s not your fault!” 

Ashley stood and walked out of the room, I put the mug down and followed him, was I scared? Yes, very, but Ash was my mate, deep down, like Mariana Trench deep I knew he would never hurt me, so I followed him into the bunk room.

“I want to make it better Ash, please, tell me how I can fix it?” Ash sighed doing the face thing.

“Why couldn’t you tell me someone was hurting you?” He whispered,

“I-I was scared,” I pulled my sleeves down,

“that I’d hurt you?!” I swallowed nervously,

 _“That, that maybe you told him to and I was supposed to let him, a-and cause I called you, you were mad…”_ I whispered flinching at the amount of pain that ran along my chest, instantly understanding that he would never do that, I whined apologetically.

“CC I would never, ever tell someone to hurt you! I’ve told you thousands of times that I’d never hurt you, and I’ll keep telling you as long as you need to hear it, that includes not letting other people hurt you,” Ashley turned to face me, eyes watering.

“I know, I’m trying-I want to believe you, so much so, and deep down I do-we both do but-“"But what CC but what?!” Ash snapped more sad than angry, “This is different!” I insisted, tears falling.

“But why C? How is this different talk to me,” he took a step towards me.

“Because the last time I told someone that a vampire hurt me, he told him to film it next time!”

“ _What?!_ ” 

“What happened there a-at the lab I didn’t have anyone, I didn’t have you, my Mate. They took something from me, and I can’t get that back, and I hate myself and them for it, they still forced me to cheat on you we didn’t know each other yeah but that’s how I see it, but now we’re dating and he-“ I cut off with a cry, "why is this time different, how do I _know_ _you're different_?" 

“So you think I’m mad at you-going to abuse you because a creep assaulted you while we’re dating?” We were both crying but the look of hurt in Ashley’s eyes made me sob, I ran the short distance and hugged him tightly, Ash hugged back just as tightly.

“I’m trying not to think like that, I’m fighting against those thoughts so hard-all I want is to let you hold me while I tell you everything, but I can’t not yet; I want to but I can’t.” I pressed my nose against his neck, breathing in his scent. 

“I’m sorry I never meant to hurt you, it’s not fair to think or say that about you, you’re one of the only people who’ve never hurt me, it’s so confusing…” I trailed off as we both scented each other whining sadly.

“I know C, I know it’s confusing, I’m sorry I snapped at you, I never should have let you out of my sight, I’m so sorry baby.” Ash pulled away slightly looking into my eyes I met his gaze carefully.

“I have to ask Pup, how many times before?” I looked down going back to hiding my face in his neck.

“Twice,” I sobbed realizing I hadn’t told him the other part yet.

“So that monster hurt you three times?” We shuffled to Ashley’s bunk, climbing in I nodded curling up against him.

“Ashley he’s a vampire,” I whimpered gripping his shirt.

“I know baby, I won’t let him get away with hurting you, I’ve got you, I won’t let him hurt you.” Ash pulled his shirt off handing it to me and pulled the blanket over both of us, I whined a little, nervous. 

“Shh, the more you smell like me, the more people won’t want to mess with you, even humans,” he said covering his eyes, I pulled my sweatshirt and shirt off pulling on his t-shirt, tossing them at the end of the bunk, Ash opened his eyes still crying a little. I wiped at his tears making him smile and kiss my hand.

“Ash?” I pressed closer to his neck, soaking up the comforting scent while I could, the rumble of a purr said he was listening, “H-he's on tour with us-what if he separates us an-and you know?” I whimpered at the thought, Ash’s grip got tighter but it comforted me. 

“Then you call me, call the boys, scream as loud as you can and don’t stop till we find you, bite, kick, scratch, if you get free run, use your claws and fangs. And once you’re safe, he’ll find out what a Wolf does to someone who hurts their Mate.” I nodded as he wiped my tears away, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“You should get some sleep CC,” Ashley murmured after a while of the two of us laying there just scenting each other enjoying the contact and comfort, during which I yawned, I shook my head.

“What if I have another nightmare? O-or I can’t let you touch me tomorrow? I don’t want to be alone again Ashes,” I started crying again, holding onto his shoulders tighter. 

“Shh baby, it’s gonna be ok, we’ll get through it, you’re not alone anymore C.” Ash held me closer running a hand through my hair, I whimpered my eyes falling shut of their own accord when they refused to open again, I pressed an ‘I love you,’ through our bond and a kiss to the part of his neck I had my face pressed to.

“I love you too Little One, get some rest, I’ve got you.” He hummed pressing a kiss to my hair, the last thing I felt before the dark took over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so glad you read this chapter, I'll have more soon and trust me my writing gets a lot better in a few chapters! Anyway thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one! Comment any questions, suggestion, or concerns you have!  
> -Perfect Weapon


	32. An Air Horn, Really?

CC's P.O.V 

**AIR HORN BLAST** “Everybody up!”

I shot up slamming my head into the top of the bunk, “easy C,” arms wrapped around me.

“No! No! Ash!” I cried fighting against the arms.

“Easy CC I got you, open your eyes little one, it’s ok.” Whatever was covering my eyes went away and my vision came back but it was blurry.

“Calm down, it was just Jon, I’ll let go once you’re not gonna fall, breathe.” I fell back against him shaking.

“Ow,” my head hurts.

“Jon there has got to be a better way to wake us up than giving CC a concussion!!” Jake yelled, I curled into Ashley’s chest nervous and in pain I don’t like the noise.

“We had alarms set jerk!” Andy grumbled jumping out of bed.

“I got ya Love, you ok?” Ash smoothed my hair down, I nodded once then froze as everything rushed back to me, whining I moved as far away as his arms would let me scared he would be mad.

“Easy, I’m not mad, if you don’t want touch I’ll let you go but if it’s ok, you can come back, I’m not mad CC.” I could barely hear him over my heart beat that wouldn’t slow down, whining I moved closer slowly as my head kept spinning, “Alright, it’s ok C, I’ve got you, breathe. It’s early and we don’t actually have to get up yet, we have time, just relax.” Ashley’s arms tightened around my back gently, I snuggled closer trying to calm down.

“Is your head ok C?” He ran his hand over my hair.

“I-I think so, I’m sorry I got scared, I’m trying to get used to it,” I whispered, “I-I’ll get used to it, I promise,” I fought back tears not sure what triggered them.

“Hey it’s ok, calm down, you’re safe, we’re not all that used to it either pup it’s ok.” Ash tipped my head up making me look at him.

“I’m sorry, I’m trying, I’m sorry,” I bit my lip as they started falling.

“Hey hey, it’s ok CC, why’re you crying Love, what’s wrong?” He ran his thumb along my cheek wiping them away.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know, they won’t stop, I’m sorry.” I sobbed confused, burying my face in his neck.

“Shh ok, let it out C, you’ll feel better after, it’s ok I’ve got you, let it out.” Ash rubbed my back as I cried into his neck, sure enough after about ten minutes the tears stopped and I felt better if not really embarrassed.

“Better CC?” Ash hummed gently as he continued to rub my back, his scent soft and comforting, I nodded yawning and pressed a kiss into his neck.

“Tag.” I whispered, kissing the same spot lightly once more.

“Do you want a tag or a copycat back Love?” How do you expect me to answer that, it’s stressful enough just to start a tag, I sniffled hoping he didn’t press me for an answer.

“Ok, don’t worry about it right now,” of course I knew why he asked, because even before we started these ‘games’ I can’t say what type of touch I want, so it’s just been a guessing game, and every time I have to or choose to start a new round Ash always asks if the touch I had given him was what I wanted in return or something else, most of the time even if I could answer him I don’t know what I’d answer with, so I just don’t.

“Tag,” he pressed a kiss to my hair.

“What time do we have to be at the thing again?” I whispered nuzzling closer to him.

“Let’s see it’s, 6:30 now, it starts at 9, we need to be there by 8:45, so we’ll need to get up in about 15 minutes so we can get some breakfast and dressed, and get semi settled in the hotel before the interview,” He held me closer, nuzzling against my hair.

“Have the room numbers and keys?” We nodded, “ok be back down here in 30 minutes and we’ll head to the interview.” I think I will be forever confused by hotels, and I’m ok with that as I don’t really want to understand them, and I really don’t like being in a room that so many other people have had as ‘their room’, it’s really weird.

“Ugh, there’s so many people,” Ash muttered as he opened the door and sniffed the room wrinkling his nose, I whined in response not liking the smell any better, and stayed tucked into his side so most of what I could smell was Ash.

“Can you give me a color C?” Ash took my duffle bag and walked over to near the bed setting both his and mine on the bench at the foot of the bed.

“Purple…?” I was completely confused.

“No, what’s your color right now, remember the color system?” He smiled, walking back over to me where I hadn’t moved from the entry hall of the room.

“Umm, I don’t really know? What’s all of them and none of them at the same time?” Looking at the floor to hide the embarrassment that I forgot what he meant by the colors, I felt him take my hand in his, catching my attention.

“I think that makes brown,” Ash stepped back pulling on my hand,”why’re you still standing in the doorway? Come here darling,” he pulled me forward a bit more forcefully but held my hand loose so I could pull free if I wanted to.

“You sure we can be in here?” I stepped forward hesitantly, my feet dragging against the carpet.

“Yes, this is our room while we’re in this city. It weirds you out huh?” I nodded taking another slow step forward when he pulled my hand again, “It’s ok, you’ll get used to it eventually.” Ash hugged me to him as we entered the main part of the room, whining I leaned into his hold.

“Ash?” I whispered, I really didn’t want to ask but I really wanted-no needed to know, at least have some sort of warning for it.

“Yeah darling?”

“Are they gonna ask about last night?” I whimpered hating that I brought it up.

“Probably, though I doubt anyone but you, me, and that scumbag know all the details,” his voice wasn’t angry and his scent only changed over the word ‘scumbag’.

“A-are you gonna tell them? Er… what are you gonna tell them? I- I know I don’t have a say-but can I at least have a warning?” My throat hurts, _I’m scared, we shouldn’t let him touch us-we’re dirty,_ we can’t stop him, that’s bad. I just settled for making myself smaller in his hug.

“CC you do have a say in this. Look at me, you have a say in what people know about you, you have a say in who comes close to you, and you have a say in what happens to your body. I know you didn’t there but that’s in the past, you’re in control of your body now, your word goes, and anyone, _anyone_ who disobeys that is hurting you, Ok?” He held my shoulders gently and looked into my eyes, I nodded nervously, wishing I could believe him.

“Second, if you want me to answer that question, because it will probably get asked because interviewers are incredibly nosey. I’d probably say something like, ‘someone was harassing my friend, so I put a stop to the situation, and we left, the end.’ Since neither of us are ready to tell the public about us dating, and it’s none of their beeswax what happened, that’s as detailed as I would be, is that ok?”

Not really sure how to reply I nodded, “alright, come here you’re shaking, are you cold?” Ash pulled me back into a hug, I hugged back making an unsure noise, I don’t know what I feel right now.

Hands, I feel hands, touching just enough to make goose bumps rise on my skin. Whining I tried to focus on the ones I hoped were real, the only pair that made my skin warm instead of cold, the only ones that have never hurt me.

“Shh, I’ve got you,” I curled into Ash’s chest trying to focus on feeling safe.

“Ashley?” I whispered looking at a stain on the wall behind him.

“Yes CC?”

“If you were mad at me would you tell me?” Swallowing I tried to find the right words, “O-Or would you just be really angry with me all of a sudden?”

“If, and that’s a big if, I was angry with something you did, I would tell you.”

“Why aren’t you mad at me?”

“Because you didn’t do anything wrong C,” He held me tighter against him.

“Yes I did, I did do something wrong,” I whispered trying not to cry, “and you should be mad, you should hate me, you should want nothing to do with me.”

“‘I should be mad at you’? Why? Did you go up to a random person and ask him to grab your crotch while sucking on you neck? No you didn’t, some creep thought you were a good target and hurt you, so no, I’m not mad at you, him however I wouldn’t mind ripping his f*cking face off.” He full on snarled, never changing how gently he held me tight against his chest, I whined softy, scared and comforted at the same time.

“I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you, I wanted to…” maybe I felt so bad because I lied to him that something was wrong rather than the fact that I thought it was my fault it happened in the first place, or in addition to it?

“I know C, I know, I wish I had seen it sooner, I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what,” his voice was soft again, sad, “I saw the change, but I hoped that it was just stress, I didn’t want you to shut me out if I pushed you, but maybe I should have pushed you further, I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you CC.” I shook my head holding onto him tighter.

“I should have told you, but I was so scared you’d be mad, I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry too C, but let’s talk about it more later ok? We both should calm down now before we have to go,” I nodded nuzzling into his neck gently, him doing the same, we stood like that till it was time to go backdown stairs.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm so glad you read this chapter, I'll have more soon and trust me my writing gets a lot better in a few chapters! Anyway thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one! Comment any questions, suggestion, or concerns you have!   
> -Perfect Weapon


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